She Carries Me

I awaken at dawn to meditate and prepare myself to go sub two yoga classes on the other side of the river...

It is misty, foggy, and drizzling, and I wonder what the river looks like this morning - but I do not have the time to go and find out...

I review the amazing week that I have had and the many blessings and gifts received - of presence, of love, of support...

One of the gifts I received was a CD entitled "She Carries Me," by Jennifer Berezan. A lone boat floats on the very surreal looking cover comprised of many different shades of blue - blending in a very impressionistic way...

I reflect on the lyrics of the title song and find so many layers of meaning implicit in the words:

"She is a boat, she is a light
High on a hill in dark of night
She is a wave, she is the deep
She is the dark where angels sleep
When all is still and peace abides
She carries me to the other side,
She carries me to the other side...

And though I walk through valleys deep
And shadows chase me in my sleep
On rocky cliffs I stand alone
I have no name, I have no home
With broken wings I reach to fly
She carries me to the other side,
She carries me to the other side...

A thousand arms, a thousand eyes
A thousand ears to hear my cries
She is the gate, she is the door
She leads me through and back once more
When day has dawned and death is nigh
She'll carry me to the other side,
She carries me to the other side...

She is the first, she is the last
She is the future and the past,
Mother of all, of earth and sky
She carries me to the other side,
She carries me to the other side..."

There are no words in me to describe all that these lyrics elicit in the depths of my heart and soul...

I reflect on queries asked of me by a friend, who wanted to know where I was in my healing journey, and whether I had truly ventured to the other side...I cannot fully answer this for it is a process. Much is behind me, but there is still so much to overcome - so much more to traverse - to reach that other side...

But I go forward - and into the river, I paddle, and I float in it, and sometimes struggle to get to the other side as I strive to leave behind what no longer serves...I am carried across in so many ways - I am carried by Grace - my faithful boat - and I am carried by the love and prayers and the support of blessed ones in my life - as I am also carried by the gentle arms of the Divine Mother...

All of these - Grace, the blessed ones in my life - and the gentle Divine Mother are really One - and as the One - it is She who truly carries me...