Letting Go of the Year

The wind howls fiercely, and I think the trees all around me are going to topple...

As I wrote a friend this morning:

"May this howling wind of the departing year,
blow away all that does not serve
and make way for many blessings
in the coming year!"

So many of my thoughts have been consumed with a mental review of the year - an examination of conscience so to speak - seeking some sort of absolution. So many failings considered, and areas of improvement envisioned...

I resolve to have a different year. My prayer of the last few days comes from Sister Gyanamata, who endured much physical suffering in her life, and prayed - not that her circumstances be changed, but that she be changed. I read the pertinent passage in a book about her life, and repeat over and over again in my own prayers: "Change not my life - change me!"

I come across many suggestions for ushering in the New Year. This comes from Christel Nani's newsletter, a gifted healer and medical intuitive:

"Here are a few suggestions to start creating a wonderful future:

• Share your positive thoughts with others
• Let gratitude fill your heart
• Be kind
• Take care of yourself
• Take actions to raise your vibration each day
• Pray for yourself and others..."

These quotes are a reminder to let go of blame in the coming year...

"My days of whining and complaining
about others have come to an end.
Nothing is easier than fault finding."
- Og Mandino

"Take your life in your own hands and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame."
- Erica Jong

"Live appears to me too short to be spent
in nursing animosity or registering wrong."
- Charlotte Bronte

And here is perhaps, the reading that most spoke to me, from Paramahansa Yoganananda, which I read before beginning my morning meditation:

"Let us forget the sorrows of the past year
and make up our minds
not to dwell on them in the New Year.
With determination and unflinching will,
let us renew our lives,
our good habits, and our successes.
If the last year has been hopelessly bad,
the New Year must be hopefully good."

And I add my own humble words:

May this departing year take with it, all that truly does not serve.
May God grant you peace of mind, and heart, and soul.
May you be given the insight to see what needs improvement,
the strength to make whatever changes are necessary,
and the humility and grace to accept whatever comes your way.

Many blessings in the coming New Year!

The River at Sundown

It was one of those days that was full - but with good things...

I began my morning by rising and meditating briefly, then by teaching and practicing yoga, followed by meditating in the company of another devotee. Meditating with someone who shares a committed practice, particularly in your lineage, is like filling your gas tank. You can go a long way on that shared spiritual energy and you can literally move mountains and remove obstacles in your life and spiritual path - so I try to schedule those opportunities for shared meditation on a regular basis. It was good to touch base with my friend and share our Kriya Yoga practice and discuss some of the inspirational things we had been reading.

It was also a warm day, and the sun shone brightly and the sky was blue for much of the day. I ran some errands, and then after trying to get a new boat launch pass for the coming year, I decided to go home and get Grace in the river for a while. At about 4:00 PM, we were paddling away from the shore.

A chorus of birds were singing very joyously, as I paddled for a while. I decided to paddle upstream until the sun went down behind the trees. Then I meditated briefly, floated, and made my way back. I was home as it started to become darker and then went for a walk. I thought to myself, what a delicious day! In a world where so many are suffering and going through so much hardship, I was able to spend a day that allowed me to focus on matters of the heart and soul. It truly doesn't get any better than that. Or as a dear friend of mine is fond of saying: "What else is there?"

I close with this beautiful reading, sent to me by a very gifted intuitive friend, who always seems to send me the right thing at the right time. It comes from a wonderful site which features prayers, meditations, and reflections from diverse traditions and different places in the world...

Deep Relief

"Deep relief, that's what I know I'm needing,
Sweet release from all I've locked inside.
A full reprieve from all my fears and worry.
I long to feel the part, where love expands my heart.
And I no longer need a place to hide.

Move in slow, so I can hear your breathing.
Take my hand so I can know your touch.
Just to be inside this silent stillness--
My heart has no defense to offer up against.
The endless ache of opening this much.

If you know what is happening to me,
Hold me close, we can let our spirits free.
Have you been beyond the other side of hope.
Where everything that's possible can be?

I'm on fire, you see it in my face,
I'm alive with the splendor and the grace.
You are welcome to join me in this space.
And journey on the quest, to love our very best.
And live within this intimate embrace."
- Ellen Robinson, August 2005

I thought of where I was in August, 2005 in my life, and where I was in 2008 - which were such very different places. The river has truly brought deep release throughout this year and prayers answered in meditation have granted the reprieve I had sought for. I do not know what the new year will bring, but I have been reminded time and time again that - "All shall be well..."

And somehow, I know it is so...

Letting Go of Control

I came across these wonderful quotes recently, and found them to be especially relevant for these trying times - when it seems that we are constantly being reminded that we are most certainly not in control...

"The world is not to be put in order;
the world is order, incarnate.
It is for us to harmonize with this order."
- Henry Miller

"It is not action or effort that we must surrender;
it is self-will, and this is terribly difficult.
You must do your best constantly,
yet never allow yourself to become involved
in whether things work out the way you want."
- Ekanath Easwaren

"True spiritual surrender responsibly
opens itself to the unknown."
- Stephen V. Doughty

Dreams on Fire

A couple of nights ago, I went to see the movie Slumdog Millionaire. It is a movie everyone is raving about, and the only thing my husband really wanted to see. It is also the kind of movie I would have thoroughly enjoyed in another era of my life, when I literally looked forward to seeing just about every movie released at this time of the year.

As my life has increasingly shifted, I find that the things I once loved doing, are so much less enjoyable now. While Slumdog Millionaire has a satisfying ending and many truly funny moments, I was overwhelmed by so many instances of violence and cruelty and the reality of how many live in third world countries, deprived of basic rights and things we in the West take for granted. I couldn't help but weep through a good portion of the movie.

At the center of this drama, is a love story, and the love theme is haunting. The love story spans a couple of decades and is a beautiful reflection of the loyalty and selfless dedication of one young man who despite the odds, does not give up searching for his beloved.

I downloaded both the instrumental and sung versions and listened to the lyrics several times as I went out on an early evening walk. As sunlight faded into the darkness of night, I experienced these lyrics not simply as another love song - but imagined these words as coming from a deep and sacred place within a soul joyously singing to the Beloved of the Heart...Maybe I was meant to see this movie so that I could hear this song...

Dreams on Fire

You are my waking dream
You're all that's real to me
You are the magic in the world I see

You are the prayer I sing
You brought me to my knees
You are the faith that made me believe

Dreams on fire, higher and higher
Passions burning, right on the path
Once more, forever yours
In me, all your heart
Dreams on fire, higher and higher

You are my ocean waves
You are my thought each day
You are the laughter from childhood games

You are the spark of dawn
You are where I belong
You are the ache I feel in every song

Dreams on fire, higher and higher
Passions burning, right on the path
Once more, forever yours
In me, all your heart,
Dreams on fire, higher and higher

These were thoughts I had as I watched the sun give up its spirit into the coming darkness down by the river...I trekked through a bit of mud to get down to the rocks that were still somewhat submerged. It was peaceful there, and I imagined myself singing this song to the Immortal Beloved...

Alphabet for Life

I came across a plaque recently entitled "Alphabet for Life," with each letter of the alphabet consisting of both a kernel of wisdom and a dictum for living life fully. As we stand on the threshold of ending one year, and beginning another, there is much to ponder and which we can embrace in these simple maxims...

Accept differences
Be kind
Count your blessings
Dream
Express thanks
Forgive
Give freely
Harm no one
Imagine more
Jettison anger
Keep confidence
Love truly
Master something
Nurture hope
Open your mind
Pack lightly
Quell rumors
Reciprocate
Seek wisdom
Touch hearts
Understand
Value truth
Win graciously
Xeriscape
Yearn for peace
Zealously support a worthy cause

May the coming New Year be one where these jewels blossom in your awaiting heart!

Christmas Prayer

Two lovely readings received...

"...The Lord comes again and again in
in God-illumined prophets to light the way.
The glory of Christ in the form of Jesus
made visible the Invisible Light
that leads to God."
- Paramahansa Yogananda

A Christmas Prayer

"Let us be still in the darkness of our sacred space,
And listen to the quiet around us.
For even in the quiet, there is the gentle being with others.

Let us feel the warmth of our community,
Knowing we are not alone.
For in the quiet shadow is the glow of life within all.

Let us know in the darkness the gift each candle bears,
A small flame, a diminutive light -
Yet the wondrous gift to kindle another's glow.

Let us be in awe at this moment as we each take up the flame
And the light that envelopes this room,
As hope for peace and goodwill fill this night."

By Lisa Rubin

Joy to the World!

Christmas Eve, gently yields up its spirit into the joy of Christmas Day, during Midnight Mass, at Holy Trinity Parish in Georgetown, where John F. Kennedy once worshiped, as we sing:

Joy to the World!

I awaken late in the morning but still manage to meditate in the quiet stillness while my household peacefully sleeps...I lose myself in time, sitting without needing to observe any time constraints, experiencing bliss and wishing for all:

Joy to the World!

I enjoy a simple morning exchanging very few but thoughtful gifts, brunch and coffee, with my husband and my son, who has spent the night for the first time since he moved out on his own, six months ago. I am grateful and proud of all of his accomplishments, as my heart proclaims:

Joy to the World!

I head down to the river on a magnificent day, and decide I can paddle for a brief while, under the observant eyes of my men, who have never really watched me engage in my sacred ritual. The currents are delicious, the water looks blue, and I am surrounded by ondulating rivulets of water, dancing about, in their own unique expression of freedom and joy. The air is crisp and clean, and herons are dancing all about, playfully skipping on the surface of the water. I paddle and meditate briefly and give thanks for the gift of this river. I exclaim:

Joy to the World!

I emerge from the healing waters energized, my ablutions done, and I reflect upon the beautiful entry from Yogananda's Spiritual Diary for this day...

"May the Christmas spirit you feel not end with today;
may it be with you every night as you meditate.
Then in the silence of your own mind,
as you drive away all restless thoughts,
Christ Consciousness will come.
If we follow the spirit of Jesus
we shall surely experience every day
his presence with us."

And, I cannot help but pray:

Joy to the World!

The light of day begins to wane as my son prepares a succulent Christmas Dinner, and my soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord once again, as my soul sings:

"Joy to the world, the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven and heaven, and nature sing...

He rules the world, with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of his righteousness,
And wonders of His Love,
and wonders of His Love,
And wonders, and wonders, of His Love!"

Once more, as it does every year, joy has come to the world! May it fill your heart, not just on this day, but on every day of the year as well. May your heart and soul be born again in Christ Consciousness!

One Blessed Night

The Cantata The Birth of Christ by Arthur T Miller, begins and ends with a beautiful song titled "One Blessed Night." On this Christmas Eve, I wish to share the chorus from this piece:

One Blessed Night

"One Blessed Night
a Star shone bright,
a symbol of
The Light of Christ.
Cast from on high
to stable low,
so that all the world
might know...

Gloria, Gloria, Gloria...
Gloria in excelsis Deus...

One Blessed Night
a Star shone bright,
a symbol of
The Light of Christ.
Cast from on high
to stable low,
so that all the world
might know...

He came for us...
He came for us!

I sit in meditation on this cold and wintry morning, reflecting on the many ways the Divine has come into my life this year - in ways seen and unseen - both perceived and unnoticed - and for these many, many moments - my heart gives thanks...

Blessed is She Who Believed

I have been listening a lot to the Birth of Christ - the Cantata I have referred to a few times in previous posts. One of the most beautiful pieces is entitled "The Visitation," where Mary visits her cousin Elizabeth, herself with child at an advanced age.

Luke 1:39 - 48 tells this story of the Visitation, and it is followed by the Magnificat - and both of these passages have figured prominently in my heart and soul of late.

Both the song, and the passage from scripture that this piece is based on, narrate Mary's visit, and how the child in Elizabeth's womb leaped for joy upon hearing Mary's greeting. Elizabeth in turn responds by exclaiming:

"Blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your womb.
And why has this happened to me,
that the mother of my Lord comes to me?
For as soon as I heard the sound of your greeting,
the child in my womb leaped for joy.
And blessed is she who believed
that there would be a fulfillment
of what was spoken by the Lord..."

I have been haunted by these words:

"Blessed is she who believed..."

Truly, blessed in the one who believes in God's wisdom, mercy, and foresight, even when she or he cannot see the way to the other side of things - and while experiencing overwhelming sadness, loss, tragedy, and pain...

Blessed is she - or he - who believes and trusts in God in spite of everything...

Blessed is the one whose heart believes and knows, that everything happens according to a Divine order and that all shall be well...

Standing Still in the Silence of the Solstice

Here are two timely messages I received yesterday, from two bright lights in the Anusara Yoga community - they are such beautiful reflections on the Winter Solstice that I want to share their insights with all of you.

The first of these was sent to a friend and colleague by Stephan Bodian, the author of the book - Wake Up Now, that I wrote about back in the late summer. The second comes from BJ Galvan's newsletter, Shakti Flash...

"In the depths of the darkness, light appears. Out of the emptiness, form arises. In times of greatest loss, we discover the treasure that gain and loss cannot touch. This is the essential message of the Winter Solstice holidays. The baby Jesus symbolizes the Divine potential bursting into manifestation. The light that burned for eight days in the temple of the Jews, even though they had oil enough for just one, signifies the boundless radiance of our essential Self.

As we reach the darkest day of the year, we have an opportunity to allow everything extra to drop away and strip down to bare essentials the true Silence of 'Silent Night,' the authentic light of the Festival of Lights. May we take this moment to reflect on the miracle and the joy of Being, on the Nothing that is Everything that is ever shining forth in the depths of the Heart."
- Stephan Bodian

Solstice - Sun Standing Still

"This season is all about the Light. Just about every civilization, tradition and religious belief system has some historical connection to ritual celebration of Light at this time of year.

For those of us in the northern hemisphere, the winter solstice invites us into the cozy hearth fire of our own soul. The sun stands still as the Goddess delivers the physical sun from the depths of the longest night. It is a time that invites us to dive deeply into our inner light to assess and reflect on the dissolving year. We reflect on ourselves, our life, who we've been and how skillfully we've maneuvered the waves on life's ocean. How did you receive your year, all the churnings of life, the blessings of what we wanted and the things you might not have consciously preferred or chosen?

This is the threshold through which the cold birth of winter ignites our dreams in the warm sanctuary within. We are called to plant the seeds of our intentions, prayers, dreams, and deepest longings to steep in the fertile embrace of our own heart. As days begin to grow longer towards the coming year, those germinating seeds emerge into expression in our outer lives. The Universe can only take you as far as you can imagine, dream and desire. What will yours be?

Who will you become by December 2009? What will your contribution have been and how will you have offered the gifts only you can offer? What is your vision for yourself, your community and the world? How and what will you do to help ensure the evolution of yourself, your vision and your world?

It is my deepest wish and prayer that in these times of intense planetary shift and inner journeying, we all can invoke our inner wisdom to make the best choices as visionaries to move fearlessly into the unknown. May you carry the teachings in your Heart, lighting your way, nurturing and cultivating your prayers, longings and intentions into beautiful New Year manifestations of beauty for yourself, your family, the Kula, and the planet.

Big Solstice Blessings of Love, Joy and Bright Light from within for these Holy Days and every day throughout the New Year!

Maha Love & Bright Light to you always,
BJ"

"Light is Love at rest, Love is Light in motion." - Wah!I

Check out BJ's website:
www.bjgalvan.com

From Solstice to Solstice

I awaken early in the morning to the softly falling rain, and imagine what the river might be like. I am sure it is swollen as it continues to release all that does not serve and nourish it, in preparation for the end of this year and the beginning of the next one. But I will not have time to visit it this morning, for I must sit and meditate, and then ride out to the other side of the river, to take my last yoga class of the session with my teacher. It is also my last class with her as her student after three incredible years under her tutelage...

I have learned much in her care - both as student and as teacher - more than can ever be articulated or shared here in this one entry - but much of which I have already documented in my blogs and other writings for the last few years...

I ride in reflecting on the impact my teacher has had on my practice and my teaching. My thoughts also turn to many of my own former high school students - spanning several decades - that are now re-connecting with me through the miracle of the internet and social communities online - and sharing the impact I had on them. I also think of all the yoga students I have had the honor to meet, since I began teaching in 1997. Truly, everything comes full circle. We give - and we receive - and then we give back again...

I thank my teacher and we embrace warmly. She wishes me luck and urges me to take care of myself in the midst of my injuries. It is an end of an era I did not anticipate, even a few weeks ago...But sometimes we receive messages quite strongly, and unequivocally know that it is time to move on in order to continue to grow...

Tonight is the longest night of the year during a season that invites deep introspection on so many levels...

My thoughts later in the day give into an inclination to review - not only where I have been from the last solstice to this one - but to also consider all that has transpired from last year's Winter Solstice to this one...

There is a sacred energy at this time of the year for many reasons. Interesting things have happened in the skies and the heavens of late, and of course, different religious traditions have much to celebrate and commemorate as well...

These are the lyrics to a new song by Mary Chapin Carpenter on her new album entitled, Come Darkness, Come Light, and it appropriately deals with this day and night...

The Longest Night of the Year

"They say that spring will come again
No one knows exactly when
Still, the sun's a long lost friend
On the longest night of the year

We stare into the firelight
While December beats outside
Where the darkest hearts reside
On the longest night of the year.

So keep me safe and hold me tight
Let the candle burn all night
Tomorrow welcome back the light
It was the longest night of the year

I used to think the world was small
Bright and shiny like a ball
Seems I don't know much at all
On the longest night of the year

We press our faces to the glass
And see our little lives go past
Wave to shadows that we cast
On the longest night of the year

Make a vow when the Solstice comes
to find the light in everyone
Keep the faith and bang the drum
On the longest night of the year."

Coming Full Circle and Leaving it Behind

I survey the river in the silent grayness of this morning reflecting on so many things...I cannot sit by the rocks because they are all underwater, due to all the winter rains that have fallen. It is so cold and windy it cuts through me like a knife, and I will not be able to stay here as long as I would like. Winter has truly settled in...

I am mindful of the many people I know who have experienced profound loss and change, and think of my own experiences as I mark a personal anniversary of sorts - coming full circle - but not back to where I was - it is more of an experience of stepping out of the circle and leaving it finally behind... This week also witnessed another major decision and shift for me, and culminated in two sessions with two wonderful healers as well...

As I shared a significant decision with a gifted therapist yesterday, he noted that many of the experiences I have had in the course of the last year or so - while difficult and challenging at times - were not really negative - but were meant to create more space for God alone...

This morning, as I watched a student's practice and suggested some subtle fine-tuning, I marveled at how far she has come in the past year. We have worked diligently and assiduously on a weekly basis and her practice has flourished in ways that simply elude description.

We also acknowledged that the time was coming when she would no longer need to work with me so frequently. She was spreading her wings, and learning to fly on her own - as she devised several variations of a practice sequence that was appropriate for her. Furthermore, her understanding and application of the Anusara Universal Principles of Alignment was a marvel to behold! I was both gratified and honored to be part of her journey.

In this same week, taking in consideration the conditions that have changed the course of my own practice, I realized that it was time for me to change the level of class I was taking, and my teacher as well. As I wrote my teacher, I am a creature of habit that does not like change, but it was time to explore both practicing differently, and receiving and embodying the principles in a different way. I am forever in debt to my teacher and all the attentiveness and graciousness I received from her over the course of three years. But as every true teacher knows, we give our students roots and wings so they can eventually fly elsewhere and drink from another fountain of wisdom...

Change is not easy for me - and I know it is not easy for many. There is a lesson or two contained in every experience of loss that we might have. There is an opportunity for growth as well. For every door that is closed - another one opens. That has been the greatest discovery for me this year. And its corollary has been understanding more deeply that nothing is ever permanent in this life - except for the constancy of God's love and presence. Only on that can we truly depend...

I wish to share two pieces that spoke to me very deeply this week. The first are the lyrics to a song that Barbra Streisand performs on her Christmas Memories album, entitled "Closer." This piece is about an experience of loss at this time of year, and the fruits that it also discloses. The second is from Yogananda's writings, and was sent to me by a friend as a reminder of what is ultimately important as I come full circle - indeed, stepping out of it - and leaving it behind. I think there is a message for everyone in both...

Closer

"As close as the sea is to the seashore
The tide still rises twice a day
That's just the ocean's way of getting closer
Closer

As close as today is to tomorrow
At midnight they can finally touch
Because every minute brings them that much closer
Closer

So on this silent night
I call your name and suddenly
All time and space between us disappear

I see your face in firelight
I hold you close in memory
And even though I know you're gone, I know you're here

As close as the glow is to the ember
You've always been a part of me
Now living in my heart you're ever closer
Closer

As sure as there's snowfall in December
Your love lives on in everything
Summer, winter, fall or spring
Every thought of you will bring us closer
Closer

The distance may be large or small
Someday I pray that we may all be closer
Closer."

"Everything that the world gives you
and then takes away,
leaving you in pain or disillusionment,
you will find in God
in a much greater way,
and with no aftermath of sorrow."
- Yogananda

May you realize, during this sacred season, that all that happens is as it should be - whether we see it - or realize it or not. In every loss - there is a gift. And in every experience of change - there is a lesson. May you realize that ultimately we are all one - there is no separation - and every moment in your life of joy and bliss - and sadness and sorrow - will show you the path to God in a greater way.

A Silent Night

This beautiful text accompanying an inspirational short movie, comes from Mary Robinson Reynolds, and is titled A Silent Night:

A Silent Night

Silent Night
Holy Night.

The birth of a new consciousness
through a Holy infant child
a consciousness of peace
of alignment
of simplicity.

Through an infant
is born a new way to think
the power of thought
that on this night created
peace
silence
connection
to Spirit within.

...All convened for this birth
on this starry night.

This night
this Silent Night
was the one unifying silence
felt throughout the world.

Silence throughout the world
peaceful minds,
peaceful hearts,
A Holy Night.

This birth brings all people together
on one night
a silent night
a heartfelt night
a connecting night
to God and man
and all of nature.

Nothing else matters
but silent connection to Spirit on this night.

Our connection with that which breathes us.

In the silence and stillness of our beings
we can feel the oneness with heaven and earth
we know
we feel
the connection
in the silence
in the darkness
in the crispness of the night.

This is the night when everything grows quiet
with anticipation
with love's deepest connection.

Spirit speaks easily to us in the silence of nights like this
seeds can be planted, dreams are born
in the silence of nights like this.

We relax into the silence
to hear it,
to feel it,
to understand it.

This night is a miraculous night
for a brief moment in time
all was united
all was quiet
all was peaceful
and still.

Sleep in Heavenly Peace
rest in Heavenly Peace
relax and let go in Heavenly Peace.

The meaning of this night
the message of this night
is the silence
that is absent of a single interpretation.

Silence that is full of meaning
silence that is totally without
judgment
competition
war
lack
religious differences.

This child would bring forth
healing unifying teachings of Heavenly Peace
in the silence of this night
our conscious minds are soothed by the silence
it is a feeling we can return to.

It is a night which holds the capacity to be
what every night can be
the potential for peace...
Heavenly Peace.

Seek the silence within every night.
Heavenly Peace be mine.

See this short - but beautiful and inspirational movie at:
www.asilentnightmovie.com

A Season to Restore

Many yoga teachers typically offer a restorative class at this time of year. I had the opportunity to experience two different ones this week - taught by two of my teachers. Each one truly restored me at a time when I really needed it. I found them calming to my nervous system...

Every year I teach a class at the end of the session just before Christmas that combines a yin practice with a restorative one - and a mini yoga nidra, which means "yogic sleep" - and is a type of full body relaxation. As my students hold and release deeply into the poses, I read inspirational passages and spiritual poetry to them.

This particular year - it seems that so many close to me have been affected by serious illness, injuries, physical infirmities, and the deaths of loved ones. I thought of this during the classes I took this week, as I creatively sought to adapt poses so that I could experience them as best as I could, given some medical cautions and restraints I had to take in consideration...

As I drove home at peace, I passed a hearse with a flag draped coffin. I turned to look on respectfully and offer a prayer, and noted that a placard with the name "Collins" had been affixed to the window of the hearse. I imagined the family that must be grieving for this person, who perhaps had given his or her life in the line of duty, and I felt sadness for the loss of this life - beloved to others...

I came home and in the late afternoon took Grace out to the river for a while. I needed to ground and I can think of no better way to do that than by going into the river, if only for 30 minutes. I didn't do a lot of paddling. Instead, I did a brief meditation and just "hung out" there for a short while...

At one point, I fixed my eyes on the boat launch area as I floated, and it seemed as if my peripheral vision moved by in slow motion. I imagined the objects on the periphery of my field of vision to be like the vrittis - the thought waves of the mind - always in fluctuation. A restorative practice, as my teacher noted today - can calm and settle the fluctuations of those constant thoughts. My own thoughts have been very much in need of settling...

I came home, ran some errands, and then finally attended to the flood of email in my inbox. One after another of the emails I read requested prayers or healing energy for someone...

I rejoiced at the incredible and miraculous improvement of a friend surviving a massive stroke. I was shocked at the serious injury sustained by the father of a dear friend. And then, I was deeply saddened to hear of the passing of a mother to whom I had been sending Reiki to for some time. This courageous woman had battled cancer for several years, hoping to see her young sons grow a little more...I believe the energy work she received at the hands of a gifted massage therapist and healer, probably prolonged her life - and this is what I told this therapist friend of mine...

There is so much that can pull us out of our center - and emotions can run very high at this time of year. A yoga practice of restoratives can help us cope with all that life throws at us. Something as simple as releasing into Supta Baddha Konasana can refresh the senses and calm the nerves for it truly is - as the wonderful teacher whose class I took this morning noted - one of the most therapeutic poses.

This season invites us to restore in body, mind, and spirit. May you allow yourself to restore in whatever way touches you most deeply.

Seasonal Blessings

The reading from Paramahansa Yogananda this morning is lovely and appropriate:

"Christ is born in the cradle of tenderness.
Love is a greater power than hate.
Whatever you say, say it with love.
Harm no one. Judge not others.
Hate none, love all;
behold Christ in all.
Think of everything in terms of universality."

Many do not know that Yogananda spent his life showing to his followers and the world through his writings and teachings, how the wisdom of both the East and the West merge in Christ Consciousness. To someone like me, a theologian with a strong background in the spirituality of various traditions, I have often found Yogananda's words uplifting and inspiring, and simply truth spoken and imparted with purity, and received gratefully, in the cave of my heart and the depths of my soul. For decades I was drawn to his writings and teachings - but mostly - to his haunting smile, inviting me to follow and delve more deeply in my meditation practice...

We never know when we will experience love or compassion - or where we may encounter tenderness. I thought of this later today, after doing a private class with a student who came to me recently and unexpectedly after a major accident that totally changed the direction of her life. She shared that she never knew what it meant to be mindful - and had never reflected on the meaning of life and its mysteries before her tragic experience.

We worked with restoratives and yin poses held for several minutes, and found ourselves sharing some of the lessons we had learned in the past year, as our lives had been profoundly altered through different circumstances. I shared that I was approaching a significant anniversary with some trepidation. Yet she encouraged me to celebrate the occasion with strength and honor - and joy - at all the new experiences and changes I had been gifted with...

I left wondering - who had truly been the student today - and who had been the one actually ministered to? I could see a parallel to the mystery of the Visitation in the scriptures, where Mary visited her cousin Elizabeth - who in turn was the first to recognize the child that Mary was carrying inside. These two women celebrated the good things that God was doing in each of their lives...Here, in this quiet morning class, the realization came to me - that my student and I - were both teacher and student to each other!

Messages and opportunities to experience the Divine abound everywhere...I ended the lesson and the practice with the same blessing I had extended to all of my classes this week, grateful in the gift of this time together with this precious soul:

Seasonal Blessing

May the Season's Gifts--
of joy and peace,
waiting and preparation,
love and hope,
serenity and stillness,
silence and solitude,
take seed and blossom
in your awaiting heart."

Waiting in Silence

This beautiful excerpt comes from Proclaiming the Good News of God's Peace, Advent Devotions 2008, produced by the Presbyterian Peacemaking Foundation. It is a little booklet I picked up when I walked the labyrinth at the beginning of this month...

"For God alone my soul waits in silence." (Psalm 62:1)

"Advent is a time of preparation. Typically this means an ever-expanding to-do list, frenzied activities, eating, and drinking well but not wisely, and arriving at Christmas utterly exhausted. The psalmist suggests another way to prepare:

'For God alone my soul waits...in silence.'

Our silence can be passive, such as when we place ourselves in a safe setting...and invite God to speak to us and touch us. Working through our waiting and stillness, God then uses our passive silence for healing and discernment.

Our silence can also be active, such as in those times when we focus our energies on listening to others and understanding what they have to say...

Passive and active silence, when practiced together, become potent peacemaking instruments and provide a powerful antidote to fatigue, anger, abuse, and violence. Indeed, waiting in silence may be one of the most underutilized peacemaking tools of all.

It's never too late to wait in silence!

Prayer

Gracious God, as the days of Advent rush by, slow us down. Teach us how to wait patiently for you in silence. Transformed by your presence in our hearts, may we practice active silence with one another. Amen..."

This season always calls me into greater silence and solitude. It is there where we are invited to commune more deeply with the Divine - however we envision that power and essence to be.

One of the songs I have been listening to, is a wonderful new song by Amy Grant, which speaks of the frenzy of this time of year, and slowing down and realizing what is ultimately important. Here is the chorus:

I Need a Silent Night

"I need a silent night
A holy night
to hear the angel voices
through the chaos and the noise.

I need a silent night
a little peace right here
to end this crazy day
with a silent night."

I am humbled by the wide readership of this blog and the many beautiful emails I receive. This is my hope and blessing for you and yours - no matter what your spiritual background may be - at this time that is sacred to many traditions:

May the silent softness
of this sacred season
and the many gifts it brings,
be yours, now and always.

Magnificat at the River

I head down to the river with Grace after a long absence...We can no longer stay away - the deep longing to commune with this river and be embraced by its healing waters calls us...

My soul is singing and proclaiming the first verse of the Canticle of Mary - over and over again - like a mantra:

"Magnificat anima mea, Dominum..."

"My soul magnifies, glorifies, and proclaims the greatness of the Lord.
My soul rejoices in God my Savior,
For he has looked upon the lowliness of his servant,
and henceforth, all generations will call me blessed."

I lose myself in the middle of this river, chanting over and over again - "Magnificat anima mea Dominum" - my soul and essence saturated with the vibrations of a special rendition of this canticle - from a Cantata that was sent to me by a very special soul - the mother of a dear friend. I wrote about this Cantata in my August 30th entry and how I was deeply moved by watching the performers and listening to the exquisite compositions.

This Cantata, titled The Birth of Christ, by Arthur T. Miller was first aired at Christ Church Cathedral in Dublin, Ireland, in August of 2006, and featured Protestants and Catholics singing together for the first time since Handel aired his Messiah.

I am drawn to listen to the pieces on the mystery of the Visitation and the Magnificat over and over again. I am filled with the sacred poetry of this canticle which has always been special to my heart and soul. I have sung many different variations as a liturgical musician, and it has always spoken very deeply to me. In graduate school, I wrote an exegetical paper on Luke 1:46. The insight comes that I have delicately woven strands of the Magnificat - into the fabric of my life throughout the decades.

I reflect also on the timeliness of this Advent Message I receive in the mail from United Theological Seminary, where I did my doctoral work, two decades ago:

"Mary and Elizabeth, two pregnant women, magnify God's truth that in birth is the hope of the world - hope for God's mercy to be shown from this generation to the next, for God's justice to be manifest in exposing the corruption of power, lifting up the vulnerable, and satisfying the hungry, hope for God's peace to be realized among the nations.

In Advent, we give birth to hope, again, to see what God might accomplish among us."

And, I am also filled with so much sacred music as this time of the year - classical, liturgical, and contemporary pieces. I cannot envision praise and worship without music, and remember my college music theory teacher - who was also a mentor to me - sharing that as a child she asked her mother if there was music in heaven - for if there wasn't - she did not want to go!

Musical notations waft in and out of me while I pray on this river, and mingle with the songs of flapping fish, the wind, and blue herons skipping on the water's surface...

I give thanks in this river for everything - for the changes, the challenges, and the gifts of this year - for each contains the gift of a sacred lesson.

I give thanks for all of the new students who found me this year - we have become one in a shared practice and as a new growing community...

I give thanks for the music flooding my spirit, as I proclaim again, and again:

"Magnificat anima mea Dominum.
My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord"

I share this, from the Advent Devotions - Proclaiming the Good News of God's Peace:

"As we listen to the songs of the season, let us pay attention to those voices that like the prophets are calling us to live a better way - a way that does not follow death and his friends. With boldness, let us join in the ancient song of turning swords into agricultural instruments, turning death into life."

Prayer

"Fill us with your songs of life, O God.
Help us to see what you are doing
to bring about peace and grant us
courage to join in with our small part. Amen."

- Rev. Hardy Kim

One God

A couple of days ago, I observed that there are songs we only sing or hear once a year at this particular time. An article in the paper recently noted that precisely for that reason, there are mental cues and vivid memories that are undiluted and only elicited - precisely because certain pieces are re-visited once during the course of the year...

As I listen to certain collections and pieces, I marvel at their beauty and how the are able to captivate my heart in the way that only new songs heard for the first time can do...

The last few times I have walked at dusk, I have listened to a song sung by Barbra Streisand on her album titled "Christmas Memories." This particular song - "One God" - is haunting - and in her notes Barbra observes that she first heard it sung by Johnny Mathis when she was very young. I was struck by the impact the song had on Barbra and I feel, that this year, given this election, it is even more meaningful and appropriate, and so I share the lyrics with you...

One God

Millions of stars placed in the skies by One God
Millions of us lift up our eyes to One God
So many children calling to Him
By many a different name
One Father - loving each the same

Many the ways all of us pray to One God
Many the paths winding their way to One God
Brothers and sisters, there were no strangers
After His work was done

For your God
And my God
Are One

Millions of stars placed in the skies by One God
Millions of us lift up our eyes to One God

So many children calling out loud
By many a different name
One Father - loving each the same

Many the ways all of us pray to One God
Many the paths winding their way to One God
Brothers and sisters - there were no strangers
After the work was done

By our God
Yes, your God
And my God
Are One!

May this sacred season enable you to more deeply see, taste, and touch - all those things that truly unite and make us all One!

The River Swells

On this Saturday morning, I head out to the river for a moment before I begin a busy day. I have not been down here in over a week...

We've had so much rain that the river is swollen and very dirty. The rocks are all underwater and I cannot make my way down to the riverbank. The currents are swift, and many pieces of tree trunks and other debris are very hastily being carried downstream...

I come this morning, hoping - however faintly, that Grace and I can go inside - if only for half an hour. But I know it would not be prudent or safe - so instead I look on - both lovingly and longingly from it shores...

The river is purging once again as this year nears its end...So much letting go that has transpired on so many levels for both of us...Yet, there is always more work to be done...

I reflect for a moment on yesterday - not only a powerful day from the standpoint of numerology - 12:12 (twelfth day of the twelfth month) - but it was also a full moon, and the closest the moon has been to the earth in a long time.

The numbers - 12:12 - are significant not only in numerology, but also in Sacred Geometry. This sequence - 12:12 - is sometimes referred to as the "Gateway to Freedom" and is symbolic of completion. Often times, during periods of major transition, people will start seeing these numbers everywhere - on their clocks and watches, and other places. How interesting that these numbers are linked to this occasion of the full moon as well. This particular full moon was 14 percent bigger and 30 percent brighter than other full moons!

There are always signs everywhere - the Universe is speaking to us all the time if we have the ears to hear, the eyes to see, and the heart to understand...

I leave the river longingly - looking forward to our next merging. It won't be long...But for now, I must return home and prepare to teach a workshop on yoga and ayurveda this afternoon...

Emmanuel: God is With Us

This is a time of year when there are songs we only listen to once...

I like to pull out old Advent and Christmas classics and new ones as well, and allow their rich melodies to fill all the corners of my heart and soul...

A friend recently asked me what kind of music I had on my ipod. I proceded to describe the wide variety of genres and playlists I had so carefully organized - spanning from folk rock, to classical, to jazz, and to mantras and liturgical music. My friend stopped right there - totally surprised - though in the seventies - when we were in our late teens and early twenties, she and I earned our spending money by playing liturgical music in several parishes...

I love classic Advent songs of awaiting like "O Come, O Come Emmanuel," and my favorite rendition is by Mannheim Steamroller. I wait all year to hear this song and enter into the deep longing and stillness it calls me to.

I also love an original piece by Michael W. Smith where the chorus gently echoes with yearning and bids us to remember that "Emmanuel" really means - "God is with us."

Yes - God is with us - not only at this particular time of the year - but always - even when we do not feel the Presence of the Divine in our lives. Yogananda reminds me in his writings, that it is only in the silence of deep meditation that God comes to us and makes His Presence known. We have to yearn for it - and seek it with all of our hearts - ever deepening our devotion. Mother Teresa often said that God speaks to us in the silence of our hearts.

This season, may you take the time to reflect on the ways the Presence of the Divine is evident in your lives - and may you create a greater space to more deeply welcome God - however you envision God to be - within the sanctuary of your hearts!

Giving and Receiving Joy

Joy is one of the greatest gifts that we can have and we can give - not only at this time of year that naturally invites it and elicits it - but in every other season as well!

"Joy is prayer -
Joy is strength -
Joy is love -
Joy is a net of love
by which you catch souls.
She gives most
who gives with joy."
- Mother Teresa

"Never miss a joy in this world of trouble...
that's my theory! Happiness, like mercy,
is twice blessed: it blesses those
most intimately associated with it
and it blesses all those who see it,
hear it, touch it or breathe
the same atmosphere."
- Kate Douglas Wiggin

Feel joy, and spread joy. And remember, that ancient Egyptians could only cross over to the next life if they could affirm that in that lifetime, they had indeed found and received joy....

Steadfast Love

Recently, the site Following the Star, focused on the beauty and the reality of the steadfast love of God:

www.followingthestar.org.

This site provides a reading from scripture, a meditation, and a reflection for each day of the Advent Season.

On one particular day last week, the daily devotional contained an excerpt from the Book of Lamentations - a book, that in all my years of studying and teaching scripture, I had never really explored in any depth.

I flipped through this book today, and found passages that immediately spoke to my soul and heart. The passage that Following the Star explored, contained these verses from Lamentations 3: 22 - 24 - which I copy here:

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,
'Therefore I will hope in Him.'"

In times of trouble or when things are bleak, a passage like this brings solace and comfort to the person of faith.

One of things that I have learned is, that no matter how much sorrow one experiences, and no matter how many curve balls one is thrown, there is always something to be thankful for, and there are always many blessings surrounding us - if we have the eyes to see - and the ears to hear.

As this site noted:

"When we embrace the steadfast love of the Lord,
we are able to wait in patient hopefulness..."

The daily devotional ended with this prayer:

"God of faith, hope, and love,
fill me with the assurance
of Your never-ceasing Love.
Make me patient, as I wait
for You and Your goodness."

In the midst of so many demands and busyness that are experienced at this time of the year, may you feel the embrace of the Lord's steadfast Love as you more deeply enter in the gentle stillness of the sacred season!

Inspirations

I sit here, in the early morning silence, as I do every morning, dedicating my first breaths and thoughts of the morning to the Divine in my sitting practice...

I begin as I do, every morning, by reading my Master's inspirational words for the day...

As we enter deeper into this season, these readings from Yogananda focus on the role of silence in meditation and prayer:

"The true practice of religion
is to sit still and talk to God.
But you don't get to that point of intensity,
you don't concentrate enough,
and that is why you remain in delusion."

"The silence habitual in Sri Yukteswar [Yogananda's Master and Guru]
was caused by his deep perception of the Infinite.
No time remained for the interminable 'revelations' that occupy
the days of teachers without Self-Realization.
A saying from the Hindu scriptures is:

'In shallow men the fish of little thoughts
causes much commotion.
In oceanic minds, the whales of inspiration
make hardly a ruffle.'"

I ponder the deeper meaning of these words, drinking them in, savoring them, then masticating them - and noting where I must work more deeply...

Then I read these other quotes while checking my email, before leaving to visit a dear friend in the hospital who recently suffered a stroke.

He is a gifted healer himself, and I will visit him with another friend who is also an incredible healer. Together we "hung out" several years ago, as we were beginning to walk our individual paths in healing.

These quotes seem almost complementary to the ones I just shared:

"The function of prayer is not to influence God,
but rather to change the nature of the one who prays."
- Soren Kierkegaard

"Spirituality is the sacred center
out of which all life comes,
including Mondays and Tuesdays
and rainy Saturday afternoons
in all their mundane and glorious detail...
The spiritual journey is the soul's life
commingling with ordinary life."
- Christina Baldwin

"It is not my business
to think about myself.
My business is
to think about God.
It is for God
to think about me."
- Simone Weil

Beautiful thoughts with which to start a morning as we navigate all that life gifts us with throughout the day...

Prepare the Way of the Lord 2008

One of my favorite scriptural passages for the Season of Advent is Isaiah 40: 3 - 5:

A voice cries out:
In the wilderness,
prepare the way of the Lord,
make straight in the desert
a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill made low...

The glory of the Lord
shall be revealed,
and all people shall see together,
for the mouth of the Lord has spoken."

Every day at this time of year, I go for a walk at dusk, and listen to Advent songs. The first one I listen to, is appropriately titled - "Prepare the Way of the Lord."

A year ago yesterday, I posted an entry about this piece:

"This piece, sent to me by Carolyn, is exquisite. It brought back many memories of being a liturgical musician and singing in church choirs.

It is truly moving and uplifting and fitting for this Advent Season. Truly, a voice cries out in the wilderness: Prepare the way of the Lord!"

http://www.hopepublishing.com/html/main.isx?sub=31&workid=1705

May we always prepare our awaiting hearts for the gifts and blessings of this season!