Experiencing the Triduum Differently

The sacred days pass in meditation and reflection, and I feel drawn to experience Holy Week in a different way, by practicing and experiencing rituals that I have not savored in over a decade...

I look forward to spending the evening at the Easter Vigil with my two guys - who somewhat reluctantly agreed to my suggestion to do so. We will return home late and sleep under the same roof as a family, for the first time in a long time...

The day is rainy, reminding me of deep soul cleansing, and I think of so many wonderful gifts received in so many ways - and some quite unexpected. Yesterday, a gifted friend took time out of her busy schedule to reconfigure a mala for me to accommodate the total number of Kriyas that I practice - so that I won't have to count or mark them off on one of my standard malas. I have been so drawn to malas and rosaries of late - bridging both my past and my present...

I lounge at Starbucks for a long time, sipping my coffee and reading the paper and think to myself that truly - "All is well, and all shall always ultimately be well" - and wonder - how did Julian of Norwich get to be so wise?

I watch interesting things unfold, and truly comprehend - as I was told by a gifted intuitive recently, how it was necessary for me to be catapulted out of my past and into my present - like a rock propelled by a slingshot - because I would not have made the necessary changes otherwise.

It was this same person who told me that Jesus, and the Buddha - and Siva - in his form of Nataraja - are with me always. She used the term - "three in one..."

She who was not familiar with this manifestation of Siva as Nataraja - "Lord of the Dance" - sought the embodiment of this form among my collection of statues until she found it and pointed to it. She said this embodied presence danced within my heart...


I think of Siva dancing inside of me - even though it is his manifestation as Bhaivara that has called and spoken to me of late. I think of the story of him howling with passion in the cremation fields, carrying a skull, one of the artefacts attributed to him. Ironically, the day after I hear of Siva's presence in me, a lifelong friend sends me a beautiful skull carved out of carnelian. Coincidences? Synchronicities? Perhaps bizarre to some!

Life is interesting in all the turns it takes, and sometimes I feel I've lived several life times in one. Yet throughout every chapter, Spirit and has called and has spoken - and I have longed for that Presence...

We are here to merge with that Presence and embody its essence in our words, and our deeds, and our thoughts...There is nothing else that matters...

"As the vital rays of the sun nurture all,
so must you spread the rays of hope
in the hearts of the poor and forsaken,
kindle courage in the hearts of the despondent,
and light a new strength in the hearts of those
who think they are failures."
- Paramahansa Yogananda.

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