Looking Down the Road and the River - Two Years Later

I awaken, two years to the day, when circumstances and a soul first lured me down to the river. I had no idea what journey I would be undertaking shortly...It would take me away from all that I had known and held securely. It would bid me to let go, and journey deeply into the unknown...

It is a Saturday, and Halloween as well, and after reading the paper at my neighborhood Starbucks, filled with costumed folks of all sizes and hues, I head down to the river, just to make a brief visual connection, and acknowledge this Sacred Temple of Healing Waters, and all that it has been and provided to my heart...

A confluence of feelings, memories and inspirations swirl within my soul, stirring so much within, just as a confluence of waves merge and dissipate - no one can tell where one begins and the other ends...

I finish this river journal today. I know the river will continue to play a part in my spiritual life and healing, and that messages will come from time to time. I know I will continue to write about the insights and gifts received here - but I also know that they will not culminate in a third volume to The River Speaks. Other projects and experiences will give way. Nothing lasts forever. It is the gift of impermanence which continually invites us to let go. And this is simply, my greatest lesson in this lifetime. I know it now. I have always known it. But I understand all the ramifications and nuances of this lesson in a way I had never intuited before...

I have been a pilgrim to this river in every season and state of my soul - from times of complete despair to moments of exquisite joy. I have experienced the Divine on these riverbanks...

As Tanmayo sings in Dust at Your Feet:

"When all is said and done,
this heart still yearns for you."

As Catherine Doherty observed in Poustinia: Encountering God in Silence, Solitude and Prayer:

"The water is faith. As you move...the water becomes fresher and you have the feeling that you can really move now. Now faith begins to grow in you. You begin to understand that faith is not of the understanding, but is a gift of God...

You arrive at a beautiful river. You come to the edge of it and know that you can drink from it until you die. Now faith has taken hold of you and nothing, nothing can separate you from the river. You realize through your journey you have fallen in love with God, and it was really his face you saw [in every challenge, and every experience]..."

This morning, I connected with a soul I had not been in contact with for a while, and summarized my life experiences of the last two years...

Throughout the course of this week, I have marveled at the intricate web of connections in my life - and how each person - whether they remained in my life or not - taught me something - or connected me with another soul that I needed to learn something from or share something with. I was also fascinated how even though I had lived my life around the periphery of some others, there was a right moment in time for us to meet and really come to know each other...

Some of these connections have been incredible, and I could not help but see the hand of God operating strongly behind the scenes, much as the producer or director of plays or movies does...

I read late into the night, excerpts from the Radiance Sutras, translated by Lorin Roche, and recommended by a dear soul, tasting their sensuality and their joy in my soul, acknowledging the vibrant life that has arisen within me like a phoenix from the ashes of what I mourned for so long:

"Be wildly devoted to someone, or something.
Cherish every perception.
At the same time, forget about control.
Allow the Beloved to be itself and to change.

Passion and compassion, holding and letting go,
This ache in your heart is holy.
Accept it as the rise of intimacy
With Life's secret ways.

Devotion is the Divine streaming through you
from that place in you before time.
Love's energy flows through your body,
Toward a body, and into Eternity again.

Surrender to this current of devotion.
And become one with the body of love."

Yes, I surrender to the current of love, as I have surrendered to the currents on this river and the perceptions and the insights that it has yielded. So many lessons have been learned, and there are still so many lessons yet unfurling - layers within layers - to be peeled back and assimilated in my long journey back to the heart of the Divine - my final resting place - and my only goal in life. I want to be nowhere else. I will pay whatever price I must, to claim this as my Eternal home...

I have never liked the song "Amazing Grace," but this past week I found a rendition by Tanmayo that moved my being to the core. Her refreshing interpretation of the lyrics and music drew me in so deeply, I lost my soul in the Eye of the Hurricane of Divine Love, and found it to be a fitting anthem for where I have been - and where I am going:

"Amazing Grace, how sweet this sound,
that saves someone like me.
I once was lost but now I'm found,
was blind, but now can see.

T'was Grace that taught this heart to beat,
and Grace, all fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
the hour I first believed.

Into your hands, I lay my spirit,
Into your hands, I lay my soul.
Into your hands, I lay my spirit,
Into your hands, I lay my soul.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
This soul's already come.
T'was your Grace that brought this soul thus far,
and your Grace will bring me home.

Amazing Grace, how sweet this sound,
that saves someone like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
was blind but now can see.

Into your hands, I lay my spirit,
Into your hands, I lay my soul...

OM namo Gurudev, namo
OM!"

Yes, I bow to you, Divine Spirit - my True Teacher - to you I bow, and give thanks, for now, and forever! Amen!

Home to Myself on the River and Elsewhere

The day begins differently than I had envisioned it to be. After a long wait in a doctor's lounge for routine blood work that somehow gets mixed up, I head out for my long overdue morning coffee!

As I wait in line to place my order, I strike up a friendly conversation with a WW II veteran, who tells me of going back to visit Omaha Beach for both the 50th and 60th anniversary of D-Day. Having just visited the landing beaches in Normandy last month, I can sincerely thank him for his service...

I head down to the river, and banter with a kayaker, and decide it is not too cold or windy, so I can make it in. I come home, and put on my boots for the first time since the early spring, and dress warmly...

The kayaker asks me what "Aligning with Grace" means. I have a decal of my website logo, on Grace, my kayak. He is intrigued by what it means and by the fact that I teach yoga.

I run into a dear friend and student walking her dog, and we share insights we've received, and catch up on details of each others lives. As we speak, a hawk flies over us, and perches on a tree for a while. Hawks are messengers which bring clarity, and power, and vision...

I go into the river and paddle for a while, then float, and note that I am slowly being drawn to the banks on the Maryland side, almost as if I am being invisibly pulled...I ride the waves in for a while, and then paddle the rest of the way...

I come home to myself on this river, and spend some time reflecting on my magical evening last night...

On the spur of the moment, I buy an online ticket to go hear Melissa Manchester, whose music has captivated my soul for decades. I go to hear her at the Barns at Wolftrap, which is the perfect intimate setting for her music and her sharing of the creative process of songwriting, and how that shows up for her. As a poet, who dabbled in some songwriting decades ago, I resonate with her story...

I laugh and I cry, and reminisce - such a kaleidoscope of memories colliding in my mind and coming alive once again!

The music is haunting...She begins with "Through the Eyes of Love," and continues with so many old favorites, new songs, and even showtunes - each one speaking to my soul - each one giving me a needed message on this day...

I wait in line at the end of the concert to meet her and have my new "album" signed. When it is my turn, I tell Melissa how every year, when I was in college in the early seventies, I went to her concerts. She smiles as she signs my CD. Then I add, that I remember her grandfather was in the audience every year. She always dedicated the concerts to him. And he, would give her a standing ovation...

She stops, and we look intently into each others eyes - she is visibly moved. There seems to be this knowing and eternal silence between us, and then she blurts out, "Gusman Hall!" Yes, that was the site of those very early concerts of hers, and I am sure she has not thought of them in a very long time...And for a moment this present moment that we share bridges our past - a place in time where we both were thirty-five years ago...A sweet connection is made...

As I float on the river which is starting to feel like winter, I think of all the connections I made in the last twenty-four hours - with a musical icon and life-long idol of mine - with a veteran of D-Day, with a student, with paddlers - and I am reminded how we are all part of one web of connections...

Here, on this river, as one of Melissa's Manchester's favorite songs reminds me, I come home to myself...

I think of the moving ending to the concert - the encore, a song titled "A Mother's Prayer," and I think of the child I gave birth to - I also think of a another child - not my own - that I have loved very deeply - and my thoughts turn as well to my cousin's child coming home from Afghanistan this week...

I ride home after a magical evening where I was so deeply moved, and listen to this song on the CD I just purchased, sending blessings to children, marveling at how we are all sojourners together. I come home and listen to it one more time in bed, as I offer prayers, a fitting ending for a blessed day...

"I know you're listening
in the silence of this night.
The news is blistering
but I hold on to your light,
and though there's darkness
all around us,
by my faith I know you are there.
Give me the strength to lead the way.
Send me the words I need to say.
Use me to guide them day by day -
This is a mother's prayer.

I know I can't do this by myself.
I thank you for your help.

I know you're listening
so I know I am not alone.
I feel you here with me
as we all face the unknown.
Could you return us
to your garden
where no one's hurt,
and no one's scared?
Free us from pride and bitterness.
Keep us so close we won't forget.
Teach us to love as you love -
this is a mother's prayer."

Indeed it is a mother's prayer, but it is also a prayer for all of us to say - mother, father, lover, friend, neighbor, lost soul, those in need, and those who feel alone. But the truth is - we are not alone - because there truly is no separation between us. That, is the great lesson that we must learn and that will set our hearts free...

The Gifts of Upheaval

One of my favorite columnists to read is Sally Kempton. She has written a column for Yoga Journal for quite some time, and is a highly respected teacher of meditation and philosophy. She also has a newsletter titled, "Awakened Heart." I excerpt the following from her latest posting, which contains some very timely insights for many of us...

"In the tantric traditions, there is a saying, 'That by which you fall is that by which you rise.' Like all deep koanic statements, this one demands to be understood on multiple levels. For me, right now, it's been a useful way of looking at the energetic paradox that so many of us are noticing in our public and private worlds.

Here's the paradox. On the one hand, we see escalating crises...But on the other hand, we see escalating awakenings...

It's no secret that we're in a time...when the energy of change is escalating. We all feel it, and many of us have own interpretive stories about it...

I'd say there are two great gifts of this time of upheaval, and they go together.

One is the deep recognition of impermanence. Things are changing too fast to maintain the kind of tight control over our lives that so many of us confuse with security. The gift of impermanence is the way it teaches us to let go.

The second gift comes when we recognize that if we can set our priorities high - if we can decide to wake up to the deepest truth we're capable of living - that the energy of this time will support us to a degree that may not have been possible at any other moment in history. Simply put, the world needs us to wake up. Where there's a need, there's also a tendency for inspiration to emerge, an impetus towards the new, that we can ride if we know how to catch the wave.

So, this is a fantastic time, an extraordinary time to set priorities. If someone told you that you had a year to live, you'd probably think long and hard about how you wanted to spend that year...doing what seems truly important, moving closer and closer to the heart, to your truest desires, to the source of your love....As you ride the waves of change, you might want to contemplate the same questions: What really matters to me? What have I always sensed I could become, and what does the universe want for me? What would it take for me to live as my most awake Self? Who would I be if I were to be that Self?

Take some time this week and contemplate one or all of these questions. Get down with it. Be truthful with yourself. And welcome the amazing time we're living through, because it can bring you to the fullness of your humanity and your divinity!"

For more information, visit:
www.sallykempton.com

The River in Silent Reflection

I enjoy a few days of quiet, stillness, of journeying inwardly and deeply, of writing, researching, and meditating, healing, and contemplation...

Time flies, it goes so quickly, I sometimes wonder where it goes...

I arise very early for an appointment to have craniosacral work with a very gifted therapist who never ceases to amaze me with her expertise, her knowledge, her resources, her compassion, and her stunning, crystal clear insights. We explore some issues and their roots deep inside my body and work very creatively with toning and chanting, until I feel an explosion of heat and electricity coursing through my body. The body's ability to respond and communicate with us is truly amazing, if we are willing to listen and do the work that is required.

I leave with my homework assignments, and what I need to work on until my next appointment, and go out in search of coffee. I stop at McDonald's and encounter the beautiful middle aged woman from a Middle Eastern country, who once ministered to me last winter by taking my cold hands into hers, rubbing them, in an attempt to warm them - a gesture I have never forgotten. Who knows where we will encounter blessed souls sent by God to touch our lives?

We speak of God as I wait for my order - somehow entering a realm of shared understanding. She asks me how I have been. I have not seen her in a while. She also tells me that God has been very good to her. Then, very spontaneously, she asks me to pray for her - and indeed, to pray for others as well.

I wait for a moment, until she is free once again, and I tell her, that I will pray for her, though I do not even know her name. And her eyes radiate such love and gratitude, she warms my soul. Our hearts connect in a shared knowing and loving of the Beloved.

I make my way down to the river, with my "senior coffee." My McDonald's Sweet Angel gave me the senior discount, something she has done on so many occasions...

The river is quiet and still, and I make my way down to the riverbanks carefully, so I will not slip on the wet leaves. It is beautiful here. Overcast and gray - momentarily breaking from the rain. I could stay here all day - lost in the silence and solitude, but alas - I have work to return to!

I make my way back home, grateful for the many ways God has touched my life: through the gift of wonderful friends - some of them priceless - one or two of them very sacred gems in my life - and through healers of every sort. I am also grateful, because for the first time in my life, I am surrounded by souls who are in tune with me vibrationally. I no longer have to toil under a veil of discord, or tension. Every blessed being that has come into my life has enhanced it - and I am a better person because of their presence and their heart resonance. All of those relationships which once brought me strife, and conflict, have simply fallen away....

I continue to be amazed at how many like minded souls I come in contact with - in my work, my practice, in cyberspace, and in most unexpected places - connections are being made all the time...

Yes, I have been blessed, and the realization comes, as I was reassured many a time, by a dear friend - and by Julian of Norwich herself, when I sat in her cell back in 1988 - that "All shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well..."

And truly, it is...

Thoughts on Kenosis at the River

After making an early morning airport run, I grabbed a cup of coffee and went down to the river on this early Saturday morning. It was interesting to observe that there was a whole array of parked cars with people drinking coffee and reading newspapers in them. Must be a weekend routine for some!

There also seemed to be a regular crowd that comes to hang out and walk their dogs - they bantered back and forth about them - catching up on the events and details of the week...

I watched all of this with some amount of dispassion as I sipped coffee, and thought of a child - now growing into a young woman - whose birthday it is today. I sent her birthday wishes - and blessings of love - in a shower of grace - and promised to offer my meditations for her later today...

I walked about surveying the river from its banks for a while, feeling totally open ended in my day and coming week, and was drawn in by thoughts I had on passages I read by Catherine de Hueck Doherty before I went to sleep last night...

I have always been drawn to - and fascinated by the theological term "kenosis", which Catherine describes as: "the emptying of oneself to be filled with Christ." The term comes from Philippians 2.7 where there is a reference to Jesus emptying himself on the cross. The term can be interpreted as implying sacrifice - but I have always understood it as giving of oneself in one's totality - and putting the needs of others before oneself. I see it as complimenting - or putting the Boddhisattva vow - from a Buddhist perspective - into action. And from a Vedantic point of view, it enables the seeker to detach from this world in order to become one with the Divine.

Lately, I have been reflecting on the meaning of this term a lot, as I remembered a Lutheran minister telling me, while I was working on my doctorate in the late eighties, that he felt that embodying the essence of kenosis was my life's mission.

From a Vedantic perspective, I believe that living out the mandate of kenosis both releases karma and attachments to this life, which is necessary to penetrate the more subtle realms where one encounters the Divine. While challenging and difficult to enflesh, kenosis is a gift for those who are up to the task of living it.

It is so interesting to consider how different theological and philosophical concepts relate to different strands of thought in varying traditions...

From Catherine's writings:

"There are certain moments in your prayers of thinking - moments in your life with God - when suddenly you are saying or doing with all your heart and soul...'Take my mind and my will, Lord, and cleanse them...'

Now we are able to discern the will of God. Our senses are acute, attuned, because we are listening to God....[There is a] smashing of the idol of oneself...[Ah! Reference to the self vs. the Self!]

This is a hidden process...it is a giving up of one's will and oneself into the hands of God...

Kenosis cannot happen without our cooperation...

Kenosis demands a kind of death, and this dying...will draw forth new graces...

This emptying of self must continue. This contact with God has to be maintained constantly; the carrying of man's pain and sorrow and joy has to go unceasingly. Otherwise there will be breaks and gaps in our relationship with God. This cannot be allowed to happen, once we have started this journey. The going will be rough, but the joy will be ineffable..."

Catherine points out that the experience of kenosis is a life-long one of continual emptying and stripping, until one is purified. All spiritual traditions teach this concept on some level or another. It a notion that speaks to me again and again at different periods of my life, always yielding richer, and richer insights...

"Real zeal is standing still
and letting God be a bonfire in you."
~ Catherine Doherty

The River's Gift of Grace, Blossoms and Insights

So many activities and tasks needing my attention during this day, but I rebel, and despite the cold and damp weather and coming rain, I make my way down to the river with Grace, my kayak, in tow...

No one is at at the park - no one is even fishing today. I revel in the realization that I have the river all to myself, and when I arrive, the water is mostly still, and the colors on the other side of the river gently beckon...

I push off, and paddle towards the river banks on the other side, where I rarely go. I disturb a blue heron as I approach the shore, and he flies off, but not before expressing some irritation...

It is breathtaking on this side - quiet - except for the hum of insects, all joining seamlessly in their sacred mantra. I am drawn to the deep reds and burgundies and hints of vermillion that have been largely absent this year, along the river. Ash and birch trees seem to predominate around this area...

I start to feel the cold as the wind begins to pick up and stir the waters, so that now the surface is covered with infinite waves...I slowly paddle over to an island south of the launch area, that captivated me when I first came to this river nearly two years ago. I looked longingly for so long, wondering what lay on the side that was hidden from me. It was nearly a year before I felt drawn and invited into the river to find out...

I paddle and reflect on the many insights that have come to me in the last day or so, some in meditation, others spontaneously. I also dwell gratefully upon the blessings received throughout the course of this week.

I take a moment, and give thanks for my yoga teacher, whose 65th birthday was yesterday. After doing 65 salutations, and inviting us to say yes to life - she led us through a delicious class of backbends, and dancing, and unbridled joy!

I review in my mind, the many beautiful and breathtaking photographs of yoginis and yogis that were shared with me by a gifted artist and exquisite soul who asked me to collaborate on a wonderful project. Each picture - is a meditation - and as I felt deeply drawn to meditate upon a handful of them late last night, I was struck by their stunning beauty and the sacredness they evoked. They invited me to explore places within me - realms I only visit in states of deep soul communion with the Divine, so delicious and tinged with bliss. I found myself moved to pair a few of these exquisite images with verses from Rumi, and today on this river, other verses from poems and inspirational words spoken by my yoga teachers arose in my heart as I meditated more deeply on some of the haunting and evocative images...

I thanked God for all of my sacred insights and for a comfort that warmed my soul, but I decided it was time to make it back to the boat launch - the wind was starting to cut through me. Here, on this river, it smelled of winter, and of dying and rising...

I paddled back, and no sooner had I hoisted Grace into the back of my truck, the promised rain came. Once again, my heart expressed gratitude. I made it back at precisely the right moment!

I end with two of my favorite quotes that I was drawn to link to images seared into my mind and soul while I floated on the river:

"Hear blessings
dropping their blossoms
all around you."
~ Rumi

"If the only prayer you say is thank you,
it will be enough."

~ Meister Eckhart

The River in All Its Fall Glory

It is a brilliant day, and I begin it by teaching my beautiful garden of yoginis who rise the the occasion of challenging backbends with grace and enthusiasm.

I finish class and dash out to the river. The sky is a brilliant blue with hardly a cloud in it, and the temperatures have climbed enough for me to put on a tee shirt and crocks. I arrive at the boat launch and take in the broad expanse and the stillness of the waters. The trees on the river banks are perfectly reflected on its surface, for the first time, in almost a year. A few minutes later, Grace and I are paddling up the river...

I can see all the way to the bottom - rich details of the underlying terrain revealing itself. It has been hidden from me since about this time last fall. I paddle upstream and find one lone heron who seems totally unmoved and undisturbed by my presence. I pass him again when I float downstream and he seems not have to have moved one iota from his meditative stance...

It is largely quiet on the river, and I think of the book I have been re-reading, after nearly 30 years - Poustinia: Encountering God in Silence, Solitude and Prayer, by Catherine de Hueck Doherty. Having recently read her letters to Thomas Merton, sparked a renewed interest in her writings.

I was drawn to silence and solitude all of my life, and was able to have a bit of it in my twenties, before I had my son and life got generally busier. It is very interesting to compare my experience of where I was then - and where I am now - more than a generation later...

As I read deep into the night, I underlined sentences and phrases that spoke to me, knowing that I will share them with my Twitter and Facebook community:

"Silence, Solitude, and deserts...are vitally important to our growing, changing, technological, urban civilization...

True silence is the search of man for God.

True silence is a suspension bridge that a soul in love with God builds to cross the dark, frightening gullies of its own mind, the strange chasm of temptation, the depthless precipices of its own fears that impede its way to God.

True silence is the speech of lovers. For only love knows its beauty, completeness, and utter joy.

True silence is a garden enclosed, where alone the soul can meet its God. It is a sealed fountain that he alone can unseal to slacken the soul's infinite thirst for him.

True silence is a key to the immense and flaming heart of God. It is the beginning of a divine courtship that will end only in the immense, creative, fruitful, loving silence of final union with the Beloved.

Yes, such silence is holy, a prayer beyond all prayers. True silence leads to the final prayer of the constant presence of God...

This silence, then, will break forth in a charity that overflows in the service of the neighbor without counting the cost...Hospitality will be deep and real, for a silent heart is a loving heart, and a loving heart is a hospice to the world..."

There is much more to reflect on and ponder in this beautiful gem of a book...This river is that place of solitude and silence in my heart. It invites me to journey more deeply inside. As I paddle back, I realize that my heart and soul are well - and I take what this river so selflessly offers me - back into my life, and into the lives of all those who come into mine as well...

Awakening, the River, the Cold and Sunshine

While this morning was perhaps, the coldest since last winter, it was also sunny and beautiful beyond words. I was elated after leading my wonderful garden of morning yoginis through a challenging practice of backbends and inversions in the middle of the room. All arose to the occasion - no pun intended, as they awakened and deepened in the recognition of who they truly are at their essence...

Afterwards, I drove to mail a birthday present to a very special child celebrating her 14th birthday this week. I was pretty creative, having done some investigation into the meaning of her unique name, and having found a statue of an enlightened being bearing the same name!

Then, I drove down to the river, to spend a few minutes. I wanted to go in, but I knew it was just a little too cold for that...

As I longingly looked on at the trees on the other side of the river, I reflected on these lines posted on Twitter this morning by Dr. Paul Haider, that spoke to me:

"I am a seed that falls from the mighty oak (God),
whirling down to the mighty river below,
floating along, I know not where,
but I trust the river (God).
Deep within my seed (My Heart)
I know all will be well,
for each turn on the river is driven
by a swirl of current (My Soul)
to land on the banks
of fresh loamy soil (Divine Connection)."

The river and its environs stir and awaken my soul, as I invited my students to do this morning. My communing with the river is in essence, a spiritual practice that has invited me over and over again without fail, to awaken.

I come home and I read these words...

"Are you searching for the river of your soul?
Then come out of your prison.
Leave the stream
and join the river
that flows into the ocean."
~ Rumi

Once more, I am invited to awaken...

I sit in my office and review these insights written by Elena Brower, in her blog, who is an amazing Anusara Yoga yogini. I shared these words with my students at the conclusion of their practice this morning:

"Awakening is the process of bringing
your fullest attention to the moment...
The moment we awaken
we glimpse an evolving,
comforting balance within ourselves,
and with that balance we can serve -
in our families, our love, our work,
and our world..."

In her essay, Elena illustrates ways we can awaken - one of them involves self-reflection. At the end of her remarks she notes:

"..Our most useful gifts to the world [involves]:
to awaken, accept ourselves
and choose our course with elegance."

Let us all try to awaken more fully and deeply on this day, and in this moment - wherever we are - and whatever it is that we are doing!

A Day for Stillness and Peace

After many days of raining, it finally has begun to dry up. So, on this Sunday morning, after putting all the ingredients for dinner into the slow cooker, I head down to the river for a few minutes. There is no one there...

I walk to the edge of the cliff, not far from the bench I sat on, almost two years ago. As I look down at the ground I am surprised I had never noticed that it is literally covered with clover. Or, had it just gradually taken over in the last year or so, without my being aware of it? I think of how easy it is to overlook the simple things in life...

The colors on the other side of the river are not near their peak yet, though the park itself is bursting with oranges, and russets, vermillions and golds - a veritable symphony of colors. And I wonder, how many more times will I be able to launch into the river before I am forced to take a hiatus?

This morning, before I took these few precious moments to myself by the banks of the river, I checked some postings on Twitter. Say what you will about social networking sites, but they can be used to spread incredible amounts of light, love, and goodwill. Reading some of these "tweets" is like carrying around a pocket therapist, guru, or inspirational teacher. So often what you read - is just what you need. Often, when I need a little boost, I just go to check what my "feed" is currently running and what bright lights all over the planet are saying. And so I checked, early this morning, and found a wonderful blog entry that contained a prayer at the end, which I excerpt here...

"What loveliness when we look upon this day!
What holiness we see surrounding us!
And it is given to us to recognize as a holiness
in which we share; it is a Holiness of God Himself.

Today let my forgiveness be complete,
and let the memory of You return to me...

Today, remember how very loved you are!
Today, remember that angels surround you
and that God is guiding you along the path
that leads you to Him -
so you don't need to know the way -
He knows it and will guide you."

What wonderful and comforting thoughts on a day for stillness and peace! I wrap myself around these words and its message which warms my heart and my soul. I hope that it does for you, what it has done for me!

To visit the blog this was excerpted from:
www.gorgeousforgod.com

A Blessing to All Who Read

This morning I slept in for just a little bit, then went off for an acupuncture appointment. After that, it was a late breakfast with a dear friend, and at the end of the day, a walk in the rain before my evening meditation.

It was a busy day on Twitter. I received this blessing by someone who goes by @ShipsofSong:

"A Blessing to all who read:
We lovingly call forth from the depth of your being,
and the four corners of the Universe,
the One Mind and the One Thought,
to radiate and fill your being,
to surround you and to flow through you,
to your Creator, to your planet,
and all of her inhabitants."

Yes, a blessing to all who read this.
Blessings of love,
Sent in a shower of grace!

Our Greatest Fear

The last couple of days have been rainy, so I spent a lot of time commuting to three yoga classes at Willow Street Yoga Center in Maryland - one I taught, another I observed, and the last one I took as a student.

I loved the class that I observed this overcast and soggy morning. The theme was perfect. This wonderful teacher, Carrie Ganz, spoke of the things she drew inspiration from and then proceeded to be a source of inspiration to her class, uplifting their hearts, and drawing out the best in them. The teacher was so present and compassionate to her students - many of which live with pain and serious chronic conditions. It was a gentle class, and the teacher totally exemplified the characteristics of an Inspired Anusara Yoga teacher!

Then I took my own class. My teacher's theme was living with courage as an attribute and expression of the heart. We worked with challenging backbends that felt delicious and everyone arose to the occasion! It was a wonderful way to spend a rainy mid-day by opening our hearts to all that life has to offer. I thought of how lucky I am, to be able to both take classes and teach in this wonderful environment that is so nourishing and life-giving! It inspires me and challenges me to grow and improve as a teacher, and other teachers with their discerning and loving eyes, often help one to deepen one's practice and teaching.

At the end of class my teacher shared a quote from Marianne Williamson that I recognized and have loved, so I looked it up again, and shared some "tweets" from it. I reproduce it here because it gives me much food for thought, and I'm sure all of you will be edified by it as well...

Our Greatest Fear - Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.

We are born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

The Power to Change

Today I received Jon Gordon's newsletter, and it was titled, "The Power to Change." While the whole newsletter is worth reading, I will include this excerpt here:

"Change can be either your friend or foe and this is determined by how you perceive the change you are dealing with. You can make change your enemy by resisting and running from it or you can make it your friend by embracing it and learning from it.

To thrive you must embrace change...[Here are] 5 questions we should ask ourselves...to help us embrace and ride the waves of change:

1. What can I learn from this experience?
2. How can I grow wiser, stronger and better because of it?
3. What opportunities does it present?
4. What do I want now?
5. What actions do I need to take?"

We all encounter seasons of change in our lives. Some we seek - others we do not and they come unbidden and unexpectedly. Some changes we experience are easy - but others are immensely difficult and sometimes very painful. Yet often it is these very changes that bring hidden blessings which begin to unfold and are recognized in due time...

May you weather your changes with strength, and courage, and grace!

For the full newsletter, visit:
www.jongordon.com

The Meaning of Intimacy

It is a beautiful day, so I ignore my rule of not going down to the river on weekends - taking a break from emptying closets, purging, and cleaning. I sit in the car by the banks of the river and read my new poetry book for nearly a hour, enjoying the breeze. I hope to make it back to the river in the next couple of days, while the weather is still so inviting, and bring Grace, my kayak.

Last night I finished a trilogy of books by Gunilla Norris, a therapist and author of many spiritual books. Three of her books had been published in one edition: Sharing Silence, Becoming Bread, and Journeying in Place.

This little excerpt on intimacy comes from the third book:

"Intimacy cannot be commanded or planned. It is not willed but happens by grace and opens the inner doors of the heart. It more readily happens when I lay no claim to anything and discover instead what is already present, already given.

All true intimacies are gifts. They appear as if from behind us, beside us, above us, below us. We usually cannot see them coming. They take our whole attention, and in the process we have a chance to come face-to-face with something we did not know about ourselves and the world.

To commune, is to discover and to be discovered is deeply human. Real convergences are revelations that lift us out of ourselves, out of recoiling from any aspect of reality. We experience the Self then - all possessive pronouns gone - the joy of existence, which is the light within everything, the light that burns for its own sake declaring, 'I am that I am.'

The Latin word for intimate is intimus, 'inmost.' I know that when I live in an 'inmost' manner...I see and know much more about the world and myself..."

And from another section of the book:

"...We surrender to no one finally but to our own soul, to the essence of ourselves, which is hidden in God. Sweet and wild is the experience of surrender. there is nothing more intimate..."

Cultivating Forgiveness

I spent the afternoon emptying one closet and found photographs of bygone years - going back 20, 30, and even 40 years - pictures of high school, college, early marriage, and of my son's first years. I sort through these things, even though it is a Saturday, and a beautiful, breezy one at that. I would love to go to the river, but I rarely do on weekends. It is such a different place energetically. So instead, I go for a walk, take in the emerging colors on maple, poplar, and oak trees, and simply reminisce...

Recently I read the book, The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully, by Sr. Joan Chittister, a Benedictine nun, and prolific author, whose writings I have always enjoyed.

In a section of the book entitled "Forgiveness," she retells this story by Alfred Lord Tennyson:

"Two aged men, that had been foes for life,
Met by a grave, and wept -
and in those tears
They washed away the memory of their strife:
Then wept again the loss of all those years."

Perhaps this is something that most of us can relate to. I know I can. We all carry within our hearts regrets of some sort. Chittister has this to offer on the subject:

"It is often not so much what we have done or what has been done to us, but what we have done because of it that is the greatest grief...

Only forgiveness can stem [deep] pain in us...This kind of pain, held to the breast all these years, licked and nurtured, fed by time and polished by the ages, can be healed only by the wounded, not the offender, because it is the wounded who is maintaining it.

The hardness is in my heart now. It is far and beyond the hard-heartedness of the one who plunged the knife. It is mine. I own it. I fostered it. And I am suffering from it more than the person I hold responsible for the hurt...

Because I realize that the distance this has put between me and someone I loved has been much more damaging to my soul that the offense could possibly have been...

Only forgiveness is the therapy of old age that wipes the slate clean, that heals as it embraces...

Only we can free ourselves from the burden of bitterness old anger brings with it still...

Forgiveness...is the measure of the Divine in us...And it is our forgiveness of others that gains for us the right to forgive ourselves for being less than we always wanted to be..."

Go out and forgive someone now - forgive yourself, for:

"Life is now. Only now...
Behind every moment the spirit of life,
the God of life waits."

After all, as Chittister wisely notes:

"It is the hands we go on holding
in our hearts at the end
that define the kind of life
we have led."

The River in Indian Summer

Today was one of those days where you wake up only to receive unexpected blessings and opportunities! Needless to say, while I had envisioned a day of emptying and cleaning out closets, other things wonderful things evolved. I received and accepted one teaching opportunity, and entertained another possibility as well.

The day was amazingly beautiful, so at noon I did manage to steal away to go down to the river for an hour.

I met a couple of paddlers getting ready to set out and bantered back and forth with them. They were amazed I just slip Grace, my kayak, into the back of my truck and drive down to the river. As I pointed out, I can do this because I live a mile away, and I can literally be in the water in 10 minutes after loading and leaving my house. I don't have to hassle with hoisting Grace onto my roof and tying her down.

It was breezy and actually hot on the river, it got up into the 80's. There were more discernible and distinct colors on the trees - more yellows - with an occasional strip of orange or a cluster of reds here and there. But the trees have a bit to go to get to their peak.

It felt delicious to paddle - though it was work - the currents were strong - and even paddling back took more effort than usual.

On my way back, I passed the paddlers I had first encountered at the boat launch who assured me that a restaurant and bar awaited on the other side of the island - or at least there would be one there once they turned the corner! We laughed. I also passed some fishermen that waved to me. Everyone seemed in wonderful spirits today and were very friendly.

I enjoyed the silence of the river for a while, and reflected on a number of quotes I had "tweeted" on the subject, and would like to share them here. It was so very interesting, because in my interactions with a few other yoga teachers today, they too, talked about the role of silence in their lives. Once again, it was an example of being in the flow of grace!

"By cultivating silence,
we can find and release deeper levels of pain -
discover what is beneath it,
and rise and flow."
~ Gunilla Norris

"By making room for silence
we resist the forces of the world."
~ Gunilla Norris

"When we make a place for silence,
we make room for ourselves.
This is simple. And it is radical."
~ Gunilla Norris

"Silence is the source of all that exists.
Silence reveals. Silence heals."
~ Gunilla Norris

"Within each of us there is a silence
as vast as the universe.
When we experience it,
we remember who we are."
~ Gunilla Norris

And a couple of others that spoke to me...

"A crisis is a holy summons
to cross a threshold."
~ Sue Mark Kidd

"The deeper that sorrow carves
into your being,
the more joy you can contain."
~ Kahlil Gibran

"Do not procrastinate.
Start to love from this very moment.
Do not forget the Beloved for an instant."
~Hafiz

"Love given, never stops flowing:
on and onward love flows
like a river with no name:
the hearts of all on its shores."
~ @ULFEE

Wonderful Lessons Revisited

Yesterday, I was sent a story I have heard before, and it is worth repeating here...

Two Wolves - A Cherokee Legend

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:

"Which world will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied,

"The one you feed..."

Last night, as I was getting ready to go to sleep, I read excerpts from the book by Joan Chittister, a Benedictine nun, titled, The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully. And here are two quotes I would like to share:

"If we live unscripted time with joy,
then life will come pouring into us.
more fully than we can bear."

"We have every right to live in gratitude
for the stages of life that brought us here,
for the memories that give us great joy."

Enjoy your day! Experience joy! And feed what you want to see grow within you, and around you! For, as someone tweeted today:

"Everyone has a seed of love and light.
Water it well!"

Silence is a River of Grace

Today, I received a video on the miraculous and healing properties of water, and I could not help think about the role the river has played in my life.

Yesterday, after teaching my morning class, which was a sheer delight, I stole away for half an hour to go to the river and paddle for a short while. It was breezy and crisp, and the sky was a brilliant blue without a cloud in it. A dear friend of mine referred to it as a Santa Fe sky. I thought of it as a Montana sky myself.

The surface of the river was covered with small and delicate waves making an intricate weaving and they seemed to be literally dancing into each others arms. I could also see streams of visible currents melting and merging into each as well.

I thought of the Danish proverb:

"He knows the water best
that has waded through it."

I also thought of the line from Marcome's song, "The River of Life:"

"When I look in the ripples
I can be all the love that I feel..."

It was breathtakingly beautiful out on the river, clean and wide - blue and as clear as I've seen it all year. I could discern streaks of yellow here and there, hidden among the trees and its leaves that will soon burst into a radiant bouquet of colors...

Today, I walked the labyrinth. I was to walk with a friend who was a little under the weather, but instead it was mine to experience all alone. I gave gratitude for so much and enjoyed its silent stillness. I thought of these words that I read last night, and "tweeted" today, by Macrina Wiederkehr:

"Silence is like a river of grace
inviting us to leap unafraid
into its beckoning depths."

I gave thanks for the opportunity to explore silence daily, and the many gifts it bestows. I gave thanks for the many miracles life offers us daily, but which we sometimes overlook...And then, I drove home, with a grateful heart...

Love is the River of Life

Today, on the Transitus of St. Francis of Assisi, I finish my book of poems for this year, titled, A River of Grace. Finishing another book, is always a great feeling of accomplishment.

There were so many people to acknowledge and recognize, but the book is dedicated to God and Guru, for as a dear friend often says, what else is there?

I share the last entry of the book, titled, "Love is the River of Life."

“Love is,

the river of life

in the world.”

So wrote Henry Ward Beecher

“Lord, make me an instrument

of your peace.

Where there is hatred,

let me sow love.”

So taught Francis of Assisi

“Love is all there is;

Love is all there is…”

So sang a friend of mine once…

“Would you know the Lord’s

meaning? Know it well...

Love is his meaning.

Who showed it to you?

Love.

”What did he show you?

Love.

Why did he show it?

For Love…”

So instructed Julian of Norwich

I drink in the nectar

of such sage words—

inked and penned and spoken

throughout centuries

and so many more phrases,

and morsels and expressions

dance inside my soul,

captivating my memories

and senses…

I have stepped onto the shore

of the other side

of the river of my life,

with Rumi in my heart:

“Inside this new Love, die.

Your way begins

on the other side.

Become the sky.”

I step onto a new shore,

Brought there safely,

in the embrace of the Divine,

who showed me how

to navigate and cross,

this river of grace.

Sacred is the Pause the Practice Offers

This week, I focused on the practice as an opportunity to take a sacred pause in our days. Sometimes, the only time we may have to pause, is that time between two breaths. Thus, the practice is a gift we give to ourselves. I share here, my notes on my opening and closing comments, which I more often than not, always write out for myself before a class, so that I can periodically review them. Some aspects of these comments have appeared here, on this blog, in some way or another...

"Let us honor the wisdom of pausing…

We take a pause out of our day to come to class – to enter into sacred practice with one another…

Therefore, “sacred is the pause…”

Yes – “sacred is the pause that draws us into stillness…”

Recently I read these words from: Seven Sacred Pauses by Macrina Wiederkehr, and hers are the last words I read at midnight before retiring:

"In the middle of my morning's work
I break for blessings;
a deep breath...
I honor the wisdom of pausing."

**It is important for us to take sacred pauses as we do our work. The practice is indeed a sacred pause. But sometimes, a sacred pause for us, can only be a few breaths…Close your eyes and listen to these words by various sages on work and pausing…

"When you work you are a flute
through whose heart
the whispering of the hours
turns to music."
~ Kahlil Gibran

"When your spirit
mingles with Spirit,
you are transformed
into a temple of God."

"Work is love made visible."
~ Kahlil Gibran

"A bitter heart is not good fertilizer
for the fruit I want to bring forth
from my day's labor."

"Each pause can be a blessing moment."

"Equanimity is the stability of mind
that allows us to be present
with an open heart
no matter how wonderful
or difficult conditions are."

"I stand before what is with an open heart.
And with an open heart I dwell in possibility."

"Sacred is the pause that draws us into stillness."

"Open my heart that I may see
the grace that waits for me in every moment."
Teach me to live awake."

"Sometimes the most important thing
in a whole day is the rest
we take between two deep breaths,
or the turning inwards in prayer
for five short minutes."
~ Etty Hilesum

I invite you this morning to enter into the practice and the sacred pause it offers…

Closing Remarks and Poem:

Sacred is the Pause

Sacred is the pause
between the breaths

"Sacred is the pause
that draws us into stillness."

Every pause invites us
to slow down and be still

"Be still and know,
for I am God."

May I see the grace
in every moment
and every pause

"Each pause can be
a blessing moment."

May we always pause
between the breaths

And may we always

"Break for blessings;
[with] a deep breath...
[so that we may truly]
honor the wisdom of pausing."

For sacred is the pause
that draws us into stillness"

"Be secluded and silent. Stay in the delight. Practice quiet and joy." - Rumi