Grace is Everything

I arise on a morning that is a turning point of sorts, and after meditation, I head down to the river with Grace, my kayak, in tow.

We push off from the boat launch area and paddle into the waves created by a fishing boat, riding its coattails with great abandon. I marvel that I even consider doing this, since I have always avoided such undulations with trepidation, afraid of capsizing, or losing my balance.


But I paddle now, not wishing to unconsciously or instinctively retrace the paths I have taken before, choosing instead to explore a ford here or there - shallow places in the riverbed that my kayak can just about slide over. I have avoided these as well, afraid of getting stuck...

I contemplate so many experiences I had this week - hearing from so many who are suffering deeply, physically and otherwise and I have prayed fervently for all of these souls - so many of them experiencing very serious life and death situations. I am also invited to reflect upon health issues and considerations that will require changes and adjustments that have already begun in my own household. I cannot help but contemplate further on the meaning of life, and death, and immortality...

My face hungrily seeks the warmth beating down from the endless blue sky, and I think of my yoga teacher, who led us through a practice yesterday afternoon, on the first day of the spring session, that amazingly mirrored my own practice of the last week...She invited us to embody "shri" - beauty - and to become all the beauty that we already were - and were meant to express - reminding us that there is always so much beauty in the world...

Yes, I look up to the sky, soaking in its healing rays, knowing I must address a low vitamin D count, and words from The Who's classic rock opera, "Tommy," arises spontaneously in my heart:

"See me.
Feel me.
Touch me.
Heal me."

These words are perhaps a needed mantra - they are uttered by the depths of my soul, as I consider lessons I must learn, painfully re-surfacing, even after three years...I wonder why I cannot learn what I must, once and for all, and just be done with it...But there is a lesson in this as well - for it invites me to forgive myself, again and again - which is perhaps the most difficult of all the lessons I have faced...To forgive others is surely the easier task - but to forgive oneself for hurting others, and whatever impact that may have from an energetic perspective - seems so daunting - and yet it too - is so necessary...

Here on this river, that has been a river of grace for me, I cannot help but reflect on my theme for my classes this week - where I invited my students to ride the currents of grace...I also think of the soul, dear to so many in the Anusara Yoga kula - or family - who faced five unexpected heart surgeries - surviving to the amazement of his doctors - and who also managed to scribble on a pad as he faced one more surgery that "only grace is everything..."

Yes - I think to myself - only grace is everything...My eyes glance down at the decal with my website's logo on Grace, my kayak, which reads: "Aligning with Grace..."

My whole life is a study in aligning with grace - however imperfectly I live this out. Yet I do try to align as best as I can in the moment - very sincerely - even if I miss the mark...And this was the understanding that the early Christian community had of sin - it was "hamartia" - simply to miss the mark...All one needs to do, is start over again, to try once more, to align with grace...

As I ride the currents of grace on this river, my thoughts momentarily turn to a friend and colleague who reminded me that as teachers, we try our best, and if we are able, we show our students their own current of grace...

I paddle on delighting on poetic morsels that came to me yesterday, and which are begging to be committed to paper in a poem or two - they explode from deep inside - sent forth like gentle blossoms from my heart:

"Like a cup become a chalice for grace."

"We are light at our essence, and our bodies are temples for that light."

"Let it be. Let go. Let God..."

I paddle back towards the boat launch, and look downstream, and suddenly realize, I have never paddled there - never venturing to explore the waters there, and I tell myself I must go there this spring or summer...I must ride the waves of grace downstream and let it reveal whatever it needs to teach me...I need to go where I have not gone - where I have been afraid to go - I need to learn more lessons...

With grace I will ford every river and follow every stream, for - only grace is everything...

("Only grace is everything." Scott Marmorstein)

Riding the Currents of Grace Home

I remain in the flow and ride the waves of grace - in practice, in meditation - in every offering and outpouring of my heart, of my soul, and my body. It spills over from my practice into my teaching, as I invite my students to ride these currents and to be danced in the dance...All the energy that moves in and through me is One - whether it is sourced from healing practices, meditation, or yoga - it is One and it is Divine in nature...

To be danced in the dance we must surrender and let go - especially of our innate need of wanting to lead in the dance - or control the flow of the energy. "It" has its own Intelligence, Consciousness, and Wisdom, and when we allow this energy to flow, we move in ways most unexpected - and then as a gift of grace - we find meridians and energy channels and centers within the body begin to open, heal, blossom, and bear bountiful fruit. There are no limits or ending to the these waves, when we give intent to step into the rich currents of grace and like a river, allow ourselves to be taken wherever it is that we must go.

To be danced in the dance and ride the waves of grace, we embody the practice as a meditation in motion. We dissolve into a fluidity of movement that is exquisite, and effortless, and delicious all at once. I have not been there in such a long while, though I had yearned for it, and ached for it, until it arrived as sheer gift, and with every day, my body and spirit grows stronger, and the pain recedes...

To ride the waves of grace is to come home to Spirit deep inside of us - it is to come home to the Divine - and home to oneself...My mat becomes a sanctuary - where the cave of my heart feels at home...I step into the currents of grace and go in a new direction I could not have foreseen or orchestrated...I move in joy and bliss, spilling out of my core, as a humble offering...

"When I think of home
I think of a place where there's love overflowing
I wish I was home
I wish I was back there with the things I have been knowing

Wind that makes the tall trees bend into leaning
Suddenly the snowflakes that fall have a meaning
Sprinklin' the scene, makes it all clean

Maybe there's a chance for me to go back there
Now that I have some direction
It would sure be nice to be back home
Where there's love and affection
And just maybe I can convince time to slow up
Giving me enough time in my life to grow up
Time to be my friend, let me start again

Suddenly my world has changed it's face
But I still know where I am going
I have had my mind spun around in space
And yet I've watched it growing

If you're listening God
Please don't make it hard to know
If we should believe in the things that we see
Tell us, should we run away
Should we try and stay
Or would it be better just to let things be?

Living here, in this brand new world
Might be a fantasy
But it taught me to love
So its real, real to me

And I've learned
That we must look inside our hearts
To find a world full of love
Like yours
Like me
Like home..."

("Home" lyrics, from the The Wiz)

More on How to Be Happy

I continue to read nuggets of wisdom by Paramahansa Yogananda on how to be happy.

I love this quote that was posted on the comments section of my previous post:

"If you have ever given up hope of being happy,
cheer up. Never lose hope.
Your soul, being a reflection of the ever joyous Spirit,
is, in essence, happiness itself."
~ Yogananda

And these as well, all coming from the Spiritual Diary of Yogananda...

"A strong determination to be happy will help you.
Do not wait for circumstances to change,
thinking falsely that in them lies trouble.

Do not make unhappiness a chronic habit,
thereby affecting yourself and your associates.
It is blessedness for yourself and others
if you are happy.

If you possess happiness you possess everything.
To be happy is to be in tune with God.
That power to be happy comes through meditation."
~ Yogananda

"Rather than be always striving for personal happiness,
try to make others happy.
In being of spiritual, mental, and material service to others,
you will find your own needs fulfilled.
As you forget self in service to others,
you will find that, without seeking it,
your own cup of happiness will be full."
~ Yogananda

"Real happiness comes only when your will
is guided by soul discrimination
to choose good instead of evil, anytime, anywhere,
because you truly want good for its own sake.
Then you will be really free."
~ Yogananda

Therefore today, go out and choose to be happy. Know that happiness is a choice we must make again and again. And that it is in truly giving it to others, that we receive it in its purest, and most joyous form!

How to Be Happy

It always seems that the Universe gives us the messages that we need, and I was amazed how everything I came across in my Twitter feed, in the quotes on my desk calendar, and in my spiritual reading of the morning - all converged to offer similar insights...

"Life is full of bumps and knocks. In the hours of trials,
which demand your keenest judgment,
if you preserve your mental equilibrium
you will attain victory."
~ Yogananda

"Those who live in tune with the attractive force of love
achieve harmony with nature and their fellow beings."
~ Yogananda

"Exude peace and goodness;
because that is the nature
of the image of God within you -
your true nature."
~ Yogananda

"You have the power to hurt yourself
or to benefit yourself...
If you do not choose to be happy
no one can make you happy.
Do not blame God for that!
And if you choose to be happy,
no one can make you unhappy...
It is we who make of life what it is."
~ Yogananda

"Whatever pain we might be in,
let's choose thoughts that nourish and support us.
We're always perfect, always beautiful,
and ever changing. We're doing the best that we can
with the understanding, knowledge, and awareness we have.
As we grow and change more, our 'best'
will only get better."
~ Louise Hay

"Sometimes being happy means
forgiving what you can,
forgetting what you must,
and seeing the beauty in all."
~ A Tweet

"The grateful heart
sits at a continuous feast."
~ Unknown

What I Know...

I guess I have been in a "making lists sort of mood" - lists of things to do - to work on - and so on. This is a list I started a month ago, and set aside, and which I reviewed after my post yesterday. So on this overcast and rainy day, I share it with you...

1. Everything will pass away.
2. Surely as the sun goes down on this day, it will rise again tomorrow.
3. We must love one another - for we are all one.
4. Within every experience there is a lesson.
5. We are here to learn our true nature.
6. The things that upset us the most are the things that never happen.
7. What is of God brings us peace.
8. To live deeply and truly - we must let go of holding on, and hold on to letting go.
9. Our desires, if out of balance, keep us bound to the earth plane.
10. What bothers us the most about others - is precisely what we need to address in ourselves.
11. We do not need to suffer in order to learn.
12. Pain may be real - but suffering is an option and results from our perceptions.
13. Let nothing disturb or distress you - for what you see or perceive is an illusion.
14. Only love is real.
15. Joy is always a mere thought away.
16. Everything we need is inside of us.
17. Every desire for another is really a longing for God.
18. Every act should be done out of love and compassion.
19. It is in giving that we receive.
20. We are never alone.

I KNOW these things are true - but at times I forget their wisdom or I embody them imperfectly. Today I recommit to remembering them regularly, one point at a time...

20 Things to Do to Heal Mentally and Spiritually

It is such a beautiful day, and between my domestic goddess chores, I decided to go for a walk. The sky was a brilliant blue, and it was warm and yet cool and soothing - all wrapped into one!

I have been germinating a list of things that I can do that will ultimately contribute to my own healing. So, when I came home, I decided to write them down before I forgot them. I started with a list of 20 - knowing that I would add on to these eventually. I will share my list in hopes that some of these will resonate with someone...Feel free to add on to this list with your comments!

20 Things to do to Heal Mentally and Spiritually

1. When I feel sad or hurt, or want to blame myself or others for a particular situation or set of circumstances, I can begin to shift these feelings by:

a. Working through Byron Katie's 4 questions: "Is it true? Can I absolutely know that it's true? How do I react when I think that thought? Who would I be without that thought?"
b. Doing Ho'ponopono: "I love you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. Thank you." (a Hawaiian Healing Technique)
c. Doing Lovingkindness: "May I be filled with Lovingkindness. May I be well. May I be at peace and at ease. May I be happy."
d. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Refusing to run that mental circuit that brings on sadness (From Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's book, My Stroke of Insight)
e. Expressing gratitude for the person who has hurt me or the set of circumstances I am dwelling on - for it is teaching me a lesson.
f. Saying the Reiki Precepts and practicing Reiki techniques.
g. Practicing Radical Forgiveness.

2. Meditating without fail.
3. Practicing yoga regularly.
4. Doing one thing for myself that makes me genuinely happy.
5. Going for a walk in nature.
6. Taking Grace, my kayak to the river for a paddle, or simply visiting the river.
7. Grounding. Connecting to the earth. Then the sky. Feeling and embodying oneness.
8. Connecting with a soul friend or companion.
9. Writing - working through whatever I must by journaling.
10. Picking up my guitar and playing it - or listening to music.
11. Reading something inspirational.
12. Watching something inspirational.
13. Laughing more.
14. Always looking for the good in everything first.
15. Being more compassionate.
16. Accepting and loving what is. Knowing that everything will pass.
17. Reminding myself that every moment is a gift.
18. Counting my blessings. Not focusing on what is lacking.
19. Gardening or nurturing something.
20. Showing more appreciation for others. Expressing love more often.

So there it is - this is my preliminary list. There is so much more to add - but it's a start of things I can work on right now. And of course, if I need to be inspired, I can always look to see what my Twitter friends are saying!

"A healthy mind has an easy breath."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

"Love is the water of life.
Drink it down with heart and soul!"
~ Rumi

"In order to be happy, one should have good health,
a balanced mind, right work, a thankful heart,
and wisdom or knowledge of God."
~ Yogananda

"Happiness depends upon external conditions,
but chiefly upon mental attitudes."
~ Yogananda

"I went everywhere with longing in my eyes,
until here in my own house
I felt the truth filling my sight."
~ Lalla

"I said what about my eyes?
Keep them on the road.
What about my passion?
Keep it burning.
I said what about my heart?
Tell me what you hold inside it.
I said pain and sorrow.
He said: Stay with it."
~ Rumi

"If you are irritated by every rub,
how will you be polished?"
~ Rumi

"There is only one moment
when it is essential to awaken.
That moment is now."
~ The Buddha

Riding the Waves of Grace

I ride the waves of Shakti. I ride the waves of grace...

I move - pose after pose - not of my own volition - but allowing my breath to ride the currents of Divine energy - feeling every movement as a pulsation. I move in a way I have not moved in years - as a sheer gift of grace!

Each movement and every pose feels delicious - even though I am not pain free. I am danced in the dance - propelled out of a vortex of powerfully swirling energies as an explosion, expression, and manifestation of the Divine's Power and Love...

In the last few weeks - I have delved deeper into my healing energy - with my Reiki teacher, Frans Stiene - who encouraged me to work more intuitively in my practice - and showed me how to dance with the Reiki energy. In a sacred initiation in meditation and in healing work this past week, the mantra - "Siva/Shakti" enveloped me and my gifted teacher, in the Presence of sacred energies and the Divine.

I now dance with the Shakti - in an ever new fertile current of grace - with no beginning and no end as I listen to the ancient Sanskrit mantra, that is also chanted as the Invocation for Anusara Yoga classes and practices. Every breath and movement in me - dances with this mantra:

OM Namah Sivaya Gurave
Saccidananda Murtaye
Nisprapanchaya Shantaya
Niralambala Tejese

I bow to the goodness within me,
the Divine Light, who is the True Teacher -
Taking on the form of my highest Truth,
Being, Consciousness and Bliss,
Always present and full of Peace,
Completely free, illuminating all
with Divine Light

I meditate deeply in my sacred room - a purple room surrounded by sacred statues of various traditions and murtis of many kinds - and especially many manifestations of Siva - that I endearingly refer to as "my nest of Sivas." Under their guidance and protection, in addition to special graces received, I go deeper in meditation and practice - to a place of stillness and silence where I can hear the sounds beyond the sounds - and furtively dance with waves of bliss...

Yes, I ride the waves of Shakti, in an endless current of grace, like the ebb and flow of the tides, I let go, and enjoy where I am - and where I am being led...

The Sounds of Silence

The heart truly has its wisdom which it speaks in silence. We receive its message only if we have the ears to hear...

I reflected on this, as I stood on the boat launch area by the Potomac River after visiting my acupuncturist. The river was calm, and the trees on the other side of the river which had triumphantly unfurled its leaves in defiance of winter, were clearly reflected in the waters. I was surrounded by a verdant explosion of green on the riverbanks.

I took the time to review and savor some gems of wisdom from Todd Norian's recent newsletter, and even used some of his insights in my own comments in class this week. Todd is an Anusara Yoga certified teacher, and is sometimes referred to as a "teacher's teacher."

Todd is also a musician, and he shared his experience about listening to a recording for a project he was working on - and being able to hear the sounds behind the sounds - in the tracks he had just laid down. These were not sounds initially heard during the recording - but they were evident afterwards. His experience reminded me of what it is like to sit in meditation, and to unexpectedly, in the absolute quiet and stillness, hear sounds that cannot normally be perceived. These are moments of sheer grace, when one is gifted with the experience of seeing or hearing things that go beyond the boundaries or the capabilities of the five senses - such as the sound that emanates from our energy centers, from our spine, or from the heart of the cosmos...

Recently, I re-posted an audio file of the sounds that were detected as emanating from the planet Jupiter by NASA's Space Voyager. Not only did the sounds seem to mirror a profound "OM" - the sound of the Divine, of creation, and of Universal Consciousness - but it also a reflection of what I have heard in deepest meditation...

This is an excerpt from Todd's newsletter:

"The wisdom of the heart is always playing its music in you like a soft flute. But with a busy mind we can't hear it. Michael Neil calls the busy mind a brass band. It overpowers the flute. When in the optimal environment, the ind naturally has a slow and steady idle. We need to take time each day to quiet the brass band of the mind and create space inside to hear the flute of the heart, the sound behind the sound...

The next time you find yourself enjoying a moment and your mind becomes calm; indulge in the calmness a bit. Stay in Savasana a little longer. Extend your walk a little more if you can, and listen to the wisdom of your heart. Listen to the silence. Savor the sacred moments of being serenaded by the sweetness of the sound of your heart flute, the sound beneath the sound. When will you do this? Life is short. How about today?"

"Which is worth more, a crowd of thousands,
or your own genuine solitude?
Freedom, or power over an entire nation.

A little while alone in your room
will prove more valuable than anything else
that could ever be given you."
~ Rumi

"Your old life was a frantic running
from silence.

The speechless full moon
comes out now."
~ Rumi

"A great silence overcomes me,
and I wonder why I ever thought
to use language."
~ Rumi

"There is a community of the spirit.
Join it, and feel the delight
of walking in the noisy street,
and being the noise."
~ Rumi

"Observe the wonders
as they occur around you.
Don't claim them.
Feel the artistry
moving though,
and be silent."
~ Rumi

When Friendships Fracture, Change, or End II

Yesterday I spoke about and quoted from a recently published book, titled, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend, by Irene S. Levine, PhD. And while the book is based on a survey of fractured relationships between women, the material is really applicable to any set of circumstances involving an alteration or severance of relationships where we have experienced change or loss. I believe the insights and research in this book sheds light on the rupturing of one's connections to a group or community of individuals as well.

It is also a good thing to bear in mind that if we live long enough - sooner or later - all of us go through these kinds of disruptions and painful experiences more than once in our lives...

More from the book:

"Fractured or fracturing friendships are only salvageable about 50 percent of the time. When these friendships are renewed, they are often only partial successes...Once trust is broken, relationships are more fragile and more at arm's length.

You may be able to resume the relationship with your friend on some level, but it will be unalterably changed. The truth is that while some close friendships can be mended, they almost never reconstitute with the same degree of intimacy and intensity...

One potential loss to think about...not only will you be ending the relationship with your friend, but also cutting yourself off from other collateral connections you have made through your friend - her family, her friends, and her acquaintances - which, to some extent, may now have become yours...

Eventually the pain [of separation] subsides, but it is still hard to forgive or forget...You'll obsess about what happened, replaying the hurt without getting over it. Yet it is in your best interest to practice forgiveness...

When two women go from speaking ten or more times a day to silence, the sense of estrangement can be unbearable. As a result, many women hunker down to protect themselves...It may shatter their self-confidence...

[In the words of one woman interviewed] 'It's taught me that it's okay to love your friends as fiercely as you would a partner. A friend is a different kind of partner...'

Researchers found that if two friends make contact with each other at least every fifteen days, they are more likely to have an enduring relationship...

One woman [in the research] makes a point of checking in with her friends if she hasn't heard from them for a few months. She's done this over thirty years and says it's worth it...

If you feel like a valuable friendship is slipping away, do what you can to reel it back in. If face-to-face contact is impossible, arrange a way to maintain regular contact so you can keep up with each other's lives...

A woman needs close friends whom she can turn to every day (and night) of her life. It may not be the same person each day because, like our lives, friendships are dynamic...Relationships take work, but they are essential to our happiness and well-being...We are very fortunate when best friends are a constant in our lives..."

I have only shared here some of the broad highlights that spoke to me. This book is a veritable mine of information and suggestions and addresses such topics as toxic relationships, when it is appropriate to end friendships, how to move forward, and how to weather relationships that are in flux - among other things. I think this is a book that deserves to be on everyone's shelf because it is a topic seldom addressed.

"One who looks for friend without faults
will have none."
~ Hasidic Saying

"What do we live for,
if not to make life
less difficult for each other?"
~ George Eliot

"I have a chosen family of friends."
~ Gloria Steinem

When Friendships Fracture, Change, or End

A few weeks ago, I was indulging in my Saturday morning ritual of reading the newspapers we subscribe to at Starbucks with my husband. I read a review about a book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend, by Irene S. Levine, PhD. It was a fascinating account of the various stages of relationships women have with each other. The book is a result a survey conducted by Levine, dealing with fractured friendships and their various outcomes. So, I ordered the book and read it, almost from cover to cover and found it to be incredibly informative, healing, and validating on so many levels.

I found myself thinking of the many significant relationships that I have had throughout my life. Yesterday, I was on the phone speaking to a woman I've known since I was 15, and whom I have been friends with for a long time - though we have gone from being incredibly close to estranged at times - somehow riding out so many changes and phases.

I have made some of my most satisfying connections in the last 10 years however - especially the last 5 - when I have had the grace and blessing to come to know a garden of beautiful souls I feel more spiritually aligned with - after having longed and searched for such connections for decades. That is not to say that previous relationships were not meaningful. But just that everything was in a different place, and circumstances and interior growth had not yet brought me to the place where I am today.

Here are some insightful excerpts from this book:

"When you lose a close female friend there isn't a single word in the dictionary to apply describe the maelstrom of feelings that envelop you: confusion, disappointment, hurt, anger, depression, blame, and even shame, all rolled together. That's because most women are brought up to believe that your best friend will always be there for you, and you for her...whatever the circumstances...

A friendship lost is viewed as a personal failure, a source of embarrassment to both parties. As such, the social and emotional cost of lost friendships run high. As we morph from girls into women, we are judged by our ability to make and maintain friends...

There are strong parallels between a friendship and a romantic relationship [but] there are few supports to draw upon when you lost a close friend...

Casual friends [are] relationships that are superficial, loosely tied, and linked to situational circumstances...Good friends are friends with whom you feel close, and with whom you choose to hang out and spend more time with. Best friends are those relationships which are solid in terms of intimacy and trust, and tend to be characterized by more frequent contact than typically occurs between good friends and casual ones. These relationships feel like they will be long-term...and cause the most pain when lost or fractured...

About nine people on average, are considered close friends who make it to the 'inner sanctum.'

Ironically, both women and men tend to see social (or casual) friends more often than the people they think of as their closest friends...

Most people have about five close friends and an extended network of 150 people they consider more distant acquaintances...

Two best friends often share common interests, or a deep sense of spirituality...One woman used the term 'soul friend' which comes from the Gaelic tradition of Anam Cara, to describe this relationship. She writes: "[This] someone makes you grow into the highest and best you [that you] are meant to be. And at its most, its joyful...She is simply part of your life in some form every day..."

When friendships fracture abruptly, the hurt is palpable - especially if you can't pinpoint exactly when, how, or why it occurred...The dumpee almost never has closure about a failed relationship...

When they realize they have been dumped by a friend, women typically experience a range of reactions that include shock and denial, loss, self-blame, embarrassment, and anger before they reach a state of acceptance and relief. Not every woman goes through every stage, nor do all women go through these stages in the same order, but eventually most will move from utter shock to reluctant acceptance..."

There is so much wisdom in this book. I will continue with another entry tomorrow highlighting the last section of the book, which most spoke to me...

"Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting
that a new world is born."
~ Anais Nin

"A bosom friend - an intimate friend,
you know - a really kindred spirit
to whom I can confide my most inmost soul.
I've dreamed of meeting you all my life."
~ Anne of the Green Gables

Creating a Better Life

This morning when I got up, I looked out the window and everything was enshrouded in fog. It was more reminiscent of a fall morning than a spring one. So I hopped into my car and drove down to the river, remembering that day back in September '08 when I paddled into the fog on Day of Atonement...

It was noisy down at the river. A small plow truck was trying to move the massive amounts of mud that the floods had deposited on the boat launch area, but to seemingly no avail. Everything just seemed to get released back into the water. So, I did not stay long and was glad I did not bring my kayak with me. But I did take in the beautiful scenery for a while. The sky and the water were one - I could not see where one ended and the other began. It was all one foggy mist, and I thought of the book, The Mists of Avalon, and crossing over to an entirely new world or dimension...

Instead, I came home and found Christel Nani's newsletter waiting for me in my mailbox. She is a nurse and medical intuitive, whose book, Diary of a Medical Intuitive was a real eye-opener for me some years ago. The newsletter offered 8 suggestions for a better life, and I've slightly edited some of them:

1. Run from negativity.
2. Be a cheerleader. Get your head back in the game and get excited for a new opportunity to try again.
3. Create new cellular memory. Make a daily practice to conjure up a happy and wonderful memory that makes your cells tingle with joy. Happy people have happy cells.
4. Resist the desire to throw pearls before swine. If those around you can't be happy for you, or support who you are, find new people.
5. Balance your thoughts. Follow a negative thought by remembering something inspirational.
6. Be present in the hear and now. Watch the sunrise; do something that is meaningful to you.
7. Build a new habit to feel your power each day. The illusion of powerlessness can crowd out positive thoughts.
8. Dream, Dream, Dream! Don't let someone else's doubt stop you from trying or interfere with your knowing.

I'm sure if we all thought about this list, we could come up with a few more suggestions to create a better and more meaningful life. I would add spiritual practices like - meditation, yoga, going for walks, journaling, or whatever might be most appropriate.

Today, think of one that you can do that will lead to a better life, and do it!

Reiki Dance

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to do an advanced intensive on Japanese spiritual practices of Reiki with my teacher, Frans Stiene, who with his wife, Bronwen Stiene, co-founded The International House of Reiki. They are also the co-authors of The Reiki Sourcebook, the definitive text on this subject.

Frans and Bronwen have extensively researched the origins and practices of Reiki. I resonated with its spiritual origins which are grounded in Buddhist meditation practices, very much like I felt drawn to Anusara Yoga because it too, is a spiritual practice, first and foremost. This is my third year studying with Frans, and when I first picked up his book in a bookstore almost a decade ago, I could not have anticipated I would be given the gift of studying with him.

Frans led us through a number of exercises and practices that in essence, showed us how to embody the Reiki energy, and move and respond to it - both in treating others and ourselves. At first, I was not sure I would be able to do this, but once I let go - and stepped into the currents of the Reiki energy, I began to dance with it. The Reiki led - and I followed...

When I tried to resist it - it would not flow - but when I surrendered and followed - it took me places in movement I had not quite explored. It reminded me of the spontaneous movements that have arisen in my meditation in the past. When I was completely aligned with the energy - it became a sacred dance - very fluid - and I somehow sensed what direction it would take - though at times I was surprised at the paths it followed - and on occasion it would hold me somewhere in an infinite pause - a Reiki kumbhaka of sorts.

I realized Frans was urging us to work more intuitively. When Reiki is first taught, one learns certain protocols and hand positions to guide one's practice - but now we were shown that to go even deeper, and grow - we had to leave the safety of the riverbanks and step into the surging currents of the river.

The time flew for me, and I realized, I could never practice again in the same way. I fell in love with this discipline once again - and felt that my soul had been released and set free!

"The bird of paradise alights
only on the hand that does not grasp."
~ John Berry

Gratitude for the Beauty of the Present Moment

I had wanted to go out on the Potomac River yesterday with Grace, my kayak, but it was too cold and very blustery, almost like a fall day. So instead, I drove over to Lake Thoreau in Reston this afternoon, and joined some dear friends for a delightful afternoon kayaking, a stone's throw from their new townhouse. It was the first time my friends went out in the new kayaks they had bought, and it was also the first time Grace and I had ever put in anywhere else.

My friends and I stayed on the water until a little after 6 PM. Less than an hour later, I was driving home, recalling the wonderful article I had read just this morning by Eckhart Tolle, in the 10th anniversary edition of Oprah Magazine.

Curiously, I received this magazine in the mail yesterday. It has no address label on it, and it did not look like one had originally been attached to it. I had subscribed to this magazine 10 years ago when it was first published, but that was years ago. So I was puzzled to find it in my mailbox. However, I know, there are no accidents...

This morning I opened the magazine, and read the article "The Beauty of the Today." As I drank in the Tolle's words, I realized they were a timely salve for my soul that had been re-living some old pains and hurts. Here is an excerpt from this article:

"There is a fine balance between honoring the past and losing yourself in it...You can acknowledge and learn from mistakes and then move on and refocus on the now. It is called forgiving yourself. Or you can carry a burden of guilt for many years...Remember events...or people from the past...accepting...the impermanence of all things. Or you may wallow in nostalgia and see the past as more precious than the present.

Be vigilant, so that you don't allow a burden or negative past to accumulate in your mind, in the form of guilt, regret...anger, and so on. Forgiveness happens naturally as soon as you realize that the past cannot prevail against the power of Presence.

The future, too, needs to honored, without making it more important in your mind than the present...The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment. You create a good future by creating a good present...by recognizing the goodness that is already inherent in the present moment, even in the midst of challenges. Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make.

Where to find that goodness when...things seem to fall apart? In the things we tend to overlook: feeling the gentle breeze on your skin, the sunlight filtering through the clouds, the sound of the rain, the wagging tail of a dog...You notice the in and out flow of your breath, the feeling of aliveness inside your body. And the stillness behind it all, which is deep within you. It is through gratitude for the present moment that the spiritual dimension of life opens up."

So, as I paddled in the late afternoon, I allowed gratitude to well up in my heart, anchoring me to the present moment. I gave thanks for the friends I have had, especially those that have endured storms and bad times. I gave thanks for my breath, for the blue sky overhead. I sent forth blessings and thanks - and then marveled at how - at least in the present moment - they dissolved all the rest.

My Soul is Broken Open

It is a beautiful day. It is a quiet day for me. And it is crisp. And breezy. The air is fresh, inviting me to drink it in, slowly, but fully...Breathe, I am told. Breathe fully...Feel fully...

I sleep in, and then go to get coffee, and head down to the river - a morning ritual I have not observed in a long time...

For a moment, I think that the gracious soul who has served me coffee before is not working today, and I am disappointed. This is the woman who once took my hands into hers and warmed them on a cold winter day - and who on another occasion asked me to pray for her - though we come from different cultures and different spiritual traditions. But then she materializes, almost out of nowhere, and takes my order - always mindfully - she looks me directly in the eye and smiles. And I think to myself - that I see the Face of God in her. He has visited me through her...

I make it down to the river, and walk down to the area by the riverbank where I used to sit on the rocks, two years ago, offering my morning prayers and meditations. But it looks different. A huge tree trunk blocks the way to the rocks and the water, and everything seems re-arranged differently from what I remembered it to be...

Everything changes - and is impermanent - and nothing lasts...

And for a moment, I release gentle tears and think of all the incredible experiences I have had - beautiful gifts amidst loss - such as the incredible and spirit-filled people I have come to know. I tell myself - that "My Soul is Broken Open." This is the title of a book I wrote - a collection of my favorite poems culled from all of my other works. I collected these in a volume mainly for myself and to give to some cherished friends...

I think of the soul and the set of circumstances that broke my soul open - tilling fertile soil that was ripe for the relationships and the changes that needed to occur in my life. But they did not occur without arduous birthing and sorrow and pain, and heaviness as well...

Yet I know, I was given an incredible gift - that enabled me to stand where I am today. I cannot go back to that time and place any more than these rocks and shore line will re-arrange themselves as they were two years ago...

I remember the wise reminder given to me by this same treasured soul that was a catalyst for so much growth in me - the very soul who first brought me to this river: "Everything passes away except God..."

I drive home eventually, realizing that every experience and circumstance in my life has been for a reason. There are lessons I have had to learn, and am still learning - even today - as my soul continues to be broken open, again, and again, and again...

Ananda Tandava - The Cosmic Dance

I receive my new Siva Nataraja late yesterday, he arrives sometime in the evening after I have left to teach my yoga class on the other side of the river, so I unpack him near midnight and place him on the special table I have joyously prepared for his arrival. I meditate briefly, in my sacred space, soaking in his energy, at this sacred time between the exhalation of one day, which dissolves into the inhalation of a new day...

Siva arrives just in time for Thursday, the day of the Guru, when we honor all of our teachers, and their teachers as well...

I feel Siva's presence all throughout the night - the circle of flames surrounding his figure - becomes a virtual headboard that protects me and provides a solid foundation that my pillows rest against as I sleep. Somehow, I managed to sense it in my dreams - it has energetically crossed the threshold and two sets of walls into my room and made its presence felt in my dreams...

This wheel of flames spins - representing samsara - the endless cycles of births and re-births - and so many beginnings and endings in my life. It invites me to live from my heart center. Thus it beckons in my sleep - exhorting me to remember who I am - and to live from my deepest essence...

Siva dances his eternal cosmic dance - the Ananda Tandava - a dance of bliss that cycles through life's stages of creation, preservation, and dissolution - in constant movement - like my own...Nothing ever remains the same...

I dance through the day and its pre-ordained tasks - sitting in morning meditation, going to my own yoga class, and addressing all that awaits my attention...

This dance of my life moves from darkness to light, from sadness to joy - and it also circles through waves of depression at times - and that too is a dance. I sense my tendency towards depression will never totally leave me - but I also know I will never permanently reside in that place. I feel the protection and support of so many - in all dimensions and in all places...

I dance the dance - and am danced in the dance - in constant motion and vibration - knowing I am never alone...

Stepping into the Flow

This week has offered many spring blossoms to me as I have been willing to step into the flow...

On Monday, I was able to step into the flow by launching Grace, my kayak, into the Potomac River for a while. The day was breezy and yet warm, and the sky was an endless sea of blue. I paddled upstream for a while, and then floated the whole way back down to the launch area, taking in the singing of the birds, and watching a heron or two fly overhead. It was simply too delicious for words and I had not a care in the world...

Yesterday I noticed that the Guru Bead of my Rudraksha wrist mala had fallen off. It is said that malas release karma when they break, and I wonder if I lost it during my time on the river or thereafter. I am not sure. Though I must say, that it felt so different to be out on the river this week. There was nothing but the sheer enjoyment of the experience.

Today, I was honored to have Frans Stiene - my Reiki teacher, and co-author of the book, The Reiki Sourcebook, with his wife and fellow Reiki teacher, Bronwen Stiene - visit my house from Australia. He is here to teach and he joined the monthly Reiki meditation group I host in the very space I teach my home yoga classes in. We have been meeting now for two years on a regular basis.

Frans graciously bestowed upon each one of us a Reiju - which is a spiritual blessing that is the forerunner of the attunement process in Reiki. Mikao Usui always gave his students a Reiju when he met them.

Frans is one of the most amazing healers I have ever met, and his gifts come from his own spiritual practice of Reiki. The blessings took a slightly different and intuitive format with each person - and when it was my turn, I felt an incredible surge of energy course through my central core generating waves of bliss and well being. I felt in many ways, like a vessel, receiving whatever it was that I needed most.

Later, we chanted with Frans, and he also did a personal healing on each one of us, and then we chatted about the experiences.

We were able to see Frans work in a different way that was much more intuitive and and he spoke about needing to be in the flow, and how through the practice we go into a place of nonduality where healing can take place. And over time, we come to dwell in that place more and more. He also spoke about how healing can take place in an instant.

I marveled at how much of what Frans said not only resonated with my spirit - but with how much in concert it was with things I had heard John Friend, the founder of Anusara Yoga say last month when I studied with him. The word Anusara literally means - "to step into the flow, or the current of Grace," and here was Frans urging us not only to step into the flow - but to live from that place as much as possible.

When you are in that flow - incredible things will happen. I saw that this morning, when two of my students kicked up into a handstand for the first time on their own.

Today, I re-commit once again to my practices and to live from that place where all things flow, and bubble up, as Frans described it, like a fresh spring.

Easter - A Season of Rising

On this Easter Sunday, I rise with the morning to sit in meditation. The day is magnificent - clothed in splendor - and every thing is in full bloom. From the depths of winter, a glorious spring has been birthed!

This week was holy to many - Jewish brothers and sisters commemorating Passover - and Christians of many traditions - celebrating the Passion and Resurrection of the Lord. In these momentous experiences, we are all one...

I look beyond traditional Easter texts and readings, and am taken by Paramahansa Yogananda's insights on the Resurrection and his entries on the subject of "compassion" for this season:

"Heavenly Father, I am resurrected with Christ from the sepulcher of the flesh into Thine omnipresence. I am resurrected from the smallness of family affection into the grandeur of love for all Thy creatures. I am resurrected from ignorance into Thine eternal wisdom. I am resurrected from all worldly desires into a state of desire for Thee alone. I am resurrected from longings for human love; I yearn only for Divine Love. I am one with Christ. I am one with Thee...

O Lord of Compassion, teach me to shed tears of love for all beings. May I behold them as my very own - different expressions of my Self.

I easily excuse my own faults; let me therefore quickly forgive the failings of others. Bless me, O Father, that I not inflict on my companions unwelcome criticism...

Every day, try to help uplift as you would help yourself or your family, whoever in your environment may be physically, mentally, or spiritually sick. Then no matter what your part is on the stage of life, you will know that have been playing it rightly...

Thy Divine Light is hidden in even the most vicious and gloom-shrouded man, waiting to shine forth under the proper conditions: the keeping of good company, and ardent desires for self-betterment.

We thank Thee that no sin is unforgivable, no evil insuperable; for the world of relativity does not contain absolutes.

Direct me, O Heavenly Father, that I awaken Thy bewildered ones to the consciousness of their native purity..."

Later, I enjoy a late brunch with my husband and son under the bluest sky and the freshest breeze, drinking Bloody Marys and Mojitos - feeling vibrantly alive - totally in the present moment - and I think - this is what Easter invites us to do: to begin again, again - and yet again - every day - to live life fully - in union with everybody - to do everything we can do to make this a better place and life for everyone - and to enjoy every moment for it is impregnated with the Divine!

They Are All Perfect!

As I went out for a walk on this magnificent and breathtakingly beautiful Good Friday, I watched the cherry trees slowly release their delicate blossoms, and thought to myself - they are all perfect!

Years ago, I was very moved by the movie, "The Last Samurai." And I remembered, that as the Samurai in the movie lay dying after a significant battle, he looked upon the blossoms falling from the cherry trees in the spring, and uttered those very words - "They are all perfect!" - as he took his last breath.

In the last couple of days, I have enjoyed the posting of pictures from those who are currently traveling with John Friend, the founder of Anusara Yoga, who is teaching in Japan at the moment. Several of the pictures were of the splendid cherry blossoms at their peak. I marveled at how the cherry trees were also peaking here, at the same time, in the Washington, DC area.

A few days ago, I posted an entry about my theme for my classes this week - "Purnatva" - which means perfection, and in the yogic teachings, is considered to be an attribute of the Divine.

I thought about how everything is perfect while I was on my walk - even the dying blossoms which float down gracefully onto the earth, only to be blown away or walked on. Even those things that challenge us - are perfect - if we learn the lessons they teach us.

I then reflected on a video I posted on Facebook yesterday and shared with some colleagues, and the very diverse reactions the video elicited. I was initially surprised at some of them, but found myself trying to see things from a different perspective. It was also interesting to consider the responses I received from my own students on the very same video. Truly, what may inspire one person, might rile another. And yet both perspectives, have merit...

What is perfection? When we do the best that we can. And when we are the best that we can be. Nothing more and nothing less. Today, as I taught a make up yoga class scheduled for one of the ones canceled during the snow, I was buoyed and inspired by my wonderful students as we played together, exploring poses they had never tried, leading up to drop backs.

I was especially touched by a dear student and friend who actually volunteered to do one. She has faced tremendous challenges and losses in the last few months, yet she is making incredible changes and courageously stepping out of her comfort zone and setting wonderful goals for herself. I watched her, and indeed, every single person in my home studio today - lighten up, and leave feeling empowered. It was so interesting to see that something that elicited some passionate discussion, also inspired some others to do something they had never done before - and to go where they had never gone.

What is perfect? That which challenges our notions and invites us to grow. And everything that is - as it is...They are all perfect.