Remember Who You Are

On this day of national remembrance - when we recall and honor the lives given, lost, and offered for our freedom - I invite my students to remember who they really are...

We come to the mat to remember who we are at our deepest essence. And who are we? We are nothing more - and nothing less than an Infinite reflection of Divine Love made manifest in such diverse colors and unique expressions, that it creates a breathtakingly beautiful rainbow...

I think of these wonderful insights, posted yesterday, by Anusara Yoga certified teacher BJ Galvan, and I share them with my small community of students - one facing surgery for cancer in two days, another who has just gone through a great loss, a third who just found out she will become a grandmother when it did not seem probable or possible...So many experiencing so much on so many different levels. But what is life, if not a multitude of expressions and journeys colliding in a collage of vibrant colors?

Remember Who You Are!

You are Total and Infinite Love.
You are Devotion.
You are Conscious Breath.
You are Clarity.
You are the Light.
You are Consciousness.
You are The One. (And I add - The One who is One - with THE One).
You are Sacred Text. (Perhaps - the only Gospel that another will know...)
You are PRESENCE.
You are Compassion.
You are SPIRIT.
You are UNION.
You are Divine Inspiration.

When we forget these things - we do not remember...

I teach, what I must learn - what I need to embody - and what I constantly forget...

When we connect to our back bodies - to the Universal - to the Divine - we soften - and we open - and we Remember - but from a place of incredible Support - so that - as a dear student and friend noted - we will not feel so exposed...

I tell my students to bow into their hearts - and visualize a magnificent sun rising in their hearts - expanding exponentially - for that Invincible Summer we envisioned in the depths of this violent and intense winter is now upon us - and I ask them to remember always who they are - in every act, in every word, in every moment - and in every breath - for each breath is an invitation to connect with the Universal - with the Divine...

I tell my students - as my own teacher, John Friend - the founder of Anusara Yoga reminded us at the recent gathering of his teachers - that I could not lead them to remember and to connect with the spiritual essence of the practice if I did not first believe in the Divine. I could only do what I do - by being in service to the Divine in my teaching, but most especially, in my practice of meditation and asana...

So often, I forget who I really am - and allow sadness, and lack to enter my life, as I did yesterday...But then, I step onto the mat, or sit in meditation, and my practice reminds me who I really am, again and again, and yet again...

This morning I received these words by Paramahansa Yogananda, into my heart, as I prepared to teach my class:

"Sorrow, illness and failure are natural results of transgressions against God's laws. Wisdom consists in avoiding such violations and finding peace and happiness within yourself through thoughts and actions that are in harmony with your real Self. Govern your mind wisely by dwelling upon the positive aspects of life..."

Once, more an invitation and exhortation to remember always, who you are...

And who am I?

I am the Beloved's and the Beloved is mine...

Late last night, in a day when I forgot who I am and allowed despair to take hold in me and reign throughout my day, God sent me an unexpected message - in the form of a love poem from the mystical writings of St. John of the Cross, and reminded me once again, to remember who I really am - someone always precious in His eyes:

"'I am dying darling, what should I do?'

And the Beloved responded,

'Then die my sweetheart - just die. Die to all that is not us;
what could be more beautiful?'"

I am never alone. I am sweetly urged to remember who I am, and I drift off into deep sleep, embraced by the Divine...

Insights From My Beloved River

Normally, I take class on Thursdays at noon. But today, I stayed home, slept in, and then later headed out to the Potomac River with my kayak, to ground in its healing, though very murky waters...

Last week during the Anusara Teacher's Gathering, Todd Norian, one of my favorite certified teachers, did a mini-class on using themes in an effective manner - which is at the heart of every Anusara class. First, as a musician, Todd illustrated the many styles and layers to how John Friend uses themes, and it was both insightful and inspirational. He compared how John uses themes - to the music of Miles Davis - noting the various intricacies of his compositions. It reminded me of my college Music Theory class - which I was not very good at! But it was simply exquisite to hear Todd - and I wished I had a recording of it.

During that afternoon's practice, the theme was "self-honoring," so I thought that would be an appropriate theme for me to develop in class this week. Anusara Yoga is really a practice about self-honoring, and doing so, means you know when to play the edge, when to nurture yourself, and when to ground, and when to step back. So this morning, I stayed home, as an act of "self-honoring."

Instead, I went down to the river mid-morning, in weather that is reminiscent of summer. It was truly hot - and I could feel the rays of the sun almost as a slow broil on my arms. I chose to paddle on the Maryland side of the river, a side I rarely explore - because I find myself not wanting to re-trace old familiar routes...

I went to the Gathering this year, having given myself permission to sit out whatever portions of the practice were necessary for me, and instead found myself doing much more of it than I had anticipated. Because I have spinal stenosis at L4 and L5 - among some other things - sciatic and nerve pain accompany me often - and often it is a matter of to what degree I experience it. So, in my home practice - I work the Anusara Yoga Universal Principles of Alignment carefully, assiduously, sequentially, and slowly - at a pace that can take me to the edge - but keeps me out of the realm of searing pain - inviting the Shakti to come dance with me, and wield her healing magic. This requires a degree of mindfulness which is much harder to observe in a class - but most especially in a workshop.

In addition, a near brush with retinal detachment in one eye and a propensity for such an event occurring in the future, means I have virtually eliminated all longer held inversions - except for handstands and pincha mayurasana - which I do not hold long.

So - for a long time, I did not feel myself to be as good as my peers and fellow teachers. I've had to work at getting over that - and realize that it takes much more to accept where I am - and work from that vantage point - rather than mourn what asanas are no longer in my repertoire. There are other emerging health issues as well - and they constantly remind me I am not totally in control of things. Who knew? Still, I am blessed. I have a dear friend with one of the most beautiful and advanced practices who has had to amend it because of her own physical trials...

I paddled this morning, thinking of how so often I focus on lack - rather than accepting what is. I paddled this morning, realizing that constantly cultivating and expressing gratitude and exploring compassion are necessary for me to overcome this proclivity I have towards focusing on what I don't have - rather than what I do have. It is a perennial part of my journey and my spiritual practice...

So today, I let go of "shoulds", and I packed Grace, my kayak, into the back of my truck, and trekked down to the river. I acknowledged my exhaustion, my cranky hamstrings, and knees, and hips - and in spite of them - I enjoyed a paddle in the heat and glaring sun. I am lucky that I have the space and time to meditate, to practice, to write, to commune with the Divine and his creations and creatures. I am blessed to have so many like-minded souls in my life.

And as a dear friend is so fond of saying - "What else is there?"

Compassion: Insights From the Anusara Teachers Gathering

It seems I continue to process insights from the Anusara Gathering of Certified Teachers, who met in North Carolina last week.

As I mentioned in several previous posts, one of the highlights of the week was the opportunity to listen to and share with Dr. Bill Mahoney, an expert on Vedic literature and studies at Davidson College. In his main presentation, he addressed the topic of grace, and then went into refinements of grace, ending with his explanation on the various aspects of compassion, which I would like to share here, because it is both insightful and relevant to many of us.

Bill Mahoney observed, that there are four refinements of grace. These are:

1. Karuna - benevolent compassion.
2. Kripa - grace as as a bestowal or active embracing.
3. Anugraha - a sense of grace that is is supportive and has both descending and infusive qualities.
4. Bhodana - moments of awakening which are nothing more and nothing less than the benevolence of grace enfolding you.

Bill then proceeded to explain how there are three parts or aspects to compassion, and that all three are necessary components to living compassionately:

1. First of all, place yourself as authentically as you can in the position of the other person's situation. Then ask yourself, and reflect on such questions as: What are the vectors in the other person's life? What is their karma or duty? Try to put yourself in their shoes and see their situation from their perspective.

2. The next step is to do this same thing with yourself. What is my situation? What are my intentions - my biases, and my karma? We need to be aware of our own insecurities - otherwise the tendency will be to work them out in the other person. This is a form of self-inquiry that is both important and necessary.

3. When we have reflected on the two preceding points, we are ready to consider what a yogic perspective or practice can contribute to the situation and we implement this practice. What is it that I can say or do in this situation, so that this person and I can come closer to God? What can I do - so that I can lessen the suffering of the other person and myself? What can I say or do that will lead to a greater awakening on both of our parts?

Wow!

So, yesterday, I found myself becoming very angry at a situation that seemed very manipulative to me, and somewhat out of my control. But this morning, after a good night's sleep, I remembered these points and went back to my notes to review them. I found, as I reflected on these questions and applied them, I began to soften. I began to see that my perspective wasn't the only way of seeing things. I began to get an insight into why the person in question was behaving in the manner that irritated me, and I realized it was based on a sense of fear, and an inability to really act or connect in any other way...

Bill was quick to point out, that if all three of these aspects are not considered, you don't really have compassion. Instead, what you have is sympathy.

In a very real sense, what we are doing by reflecting in this manner and engaging in this process - is nothing more and nothing less - than "Opening to Grace." As John Friend, the founder of Anusara Yoga, wisely observed, after Bill shared these points with us, when we open to Grace, we make space. We do not avoid the difficult questions or situations - but create an environment to invite a sparkling fullness.

I have much to apply and ponder, but then - life is a journey - is it not? We never quite arrive...

Final Musings on the Anusara Teacher's Gathering

I continue to reflect on - and process the incredible week I just spent with many of my friends and colleagues at the Gathering of Anusara Yoga Certified Teachers, in North Carolina. It has also been wonderful to review the Tweets that have been posted on Twitter at #ctgnc - which capture so many inspirational moments and quotes shared by others. It is especially amazing to note these have been read all over the world!

I have also enjoyed blog entries by Christina Sell, which should help to put many at ease about the so-called "direction" that Anusara Yoga is taking. If anything, I came away more committed to the path of Anusara Yoga and I am both excited and humbled to be part of growing Anusara in my own background. I think of so many of my students who have never been exposed to any other style or form of yoga, and who have no clue what it can be like out there in terms of classes where they would not be best served.

Christina compared a lot of the growing pains Anusara is experiencing to the teaching of "spanda." Everything is indeed pulsing - and is characterized by both contractive and expansive energies at appropriate times. John Friend, the found of Anusara Yoga, invited us several times during the course of the week to find and express our own individual artistry - in our practice - and through our individual talents - but to always come back to the middle - to our source - and to our core teachings. This to me, was not only reassuring - but empowering - for as someone who finds her deepest self-expression through the writing of poetry, prose, and posting to various social media platforms - I felt I was given the encouragement to serve my community more fully in this way, and that it also has a place and that is considered valuable.

One of the things I took away from this week - is that we all have our own unique gifts which are evident in how we serve our students and one another. At some point, John spoke about the teacher who is content to serve their small population of students and who is not going to be on the national or international circuit. I felt like he was talking to me - because I have no desire to do what some of my friends do. I am content to serve my students as well as I can, and occasionally teach a philosophy workshop here or there, nothing more, and nothing less....

As in the previous years, my spirits were also buoyed by the incredible amount of support, affection, warmth, and openness of those present. It is hard to convey this - or maybe even believe this is possible - unless you have been there the last few years...

Every year John says the community is getting better and better. He shared his heart and his vision in a very clear, succinct, passionate, and genuine way, and I realized he has never once wavered from his original vision. There were people present there who have known John personally for over two decades and could attest to the fact that he has always been there for them and has not changed who he is fundamentally. If anything, he has grown, and learned from his mistakes, as we all strive to do.

I came away filled with a lot of love and compassion - given - and received on so many levels. I am both deeply touched and humbled to be part of this community and this vision - and to contribute whatever I can in my own unique way!

(To read Christina's postings on the Gathering, go to her site:
www.christinasell.blogspot.com )

Further Musings on the Anusara Teacher's Gathering

The Gathering of Anusara Yoga Certified Teachers in North Carolina, concluded yesterday afternoon. That was followed by a nearly 4 1/2 hour meeting of the Anusara Yoga Curriculum Committee that I attended, where we discussed a number of pertinent issues, and sought to make some refinements to the Anusara Immersion Curriculum we implemented last December.

I drove back home with a friend, and we chatted the whole way back, which made the 5 hours or so that drive back home took - pass more quickly.

I am full to the brim from the week and so many incredible moments and memories are floating in my mind. I have so much to say and so much to write - but I am also tired, and I am not sure if it will be transmitted. And of course, some things aren't necessarily meant to be shared either...

I came away more deeply convinced that there is much value in our coming together as a community on a yearly basis to share, to practice together, and to connect with one another. I was very moved and touched by the depth of conversation and the caliber of the discourse on so many levels. Each year I feel more and more like it really is a coming home, and I feel more comfortable and connected with the radiant souls that come far and wide from the 4 corners of this land and beyond. We are different, but we are one, and I am continually amazed by the level of support, encouragement, affirmation and unconditional love that we give and receive from each other...

One of the many highlights was the opportunity to hear Dr. Bill Mahoney of Davidson College, a Vedic scholar, come to speak to us. He spent nearly all of Thursday afternoon with us, sharing how so many passages from the Rig Veda supported many of the Tantric teachings that provide the philosophical framework for Anusara Yoga, and more specifically, how they related to a primer on Shiva/Shakti Tantra that John Friend, the founder of Anusara, had prepared for us to review and study this week.

We had the opportunity to spend time with Bill once again on Friday morning. At one point, John asked Bill to speak to us on the topic of grace, and here are some of the beautiful insights he shared with us:

"Grace is a power - it is Shakti energy - and without power there is no growth or transformation in our lives...

Without grace, there is nothing...

Anything that moves towards its inherent perfection, does so because of grace...

Grace returns us to our body, our way of being, and the pulsing of our hearts...

Despite whatever happens in your head, your heart always continues to beat...

There is a power that is living me - and this is grace. There is a power that lives and breathes the universe - and that is grace.

Grace is there all of the time. Without it, we do not live...

When we enter into the flow of grace, we align with it...

When you look into anothers' eyes and your own eyes soften with tears - it is the benevolence of grace that is enfolding you...

Grace is the yogic discipline of remembering...

Grace leads us to the experience, but it is also clarifies that experience...

When we practice yoga, we are aligning with grace, and entering into the transcendent unity of being that is also affirming of diversity..."

I know I will soon be transcribing my notes and enjoying every morsel, every gem that was freely offered and received this week...

Reflections on Anusara Yoga Growing Pains

Today is Thursday - the Day of the Guru, and often, it is the most challenging and transformational practice during a week long training with John Friend. Last year at this time, in hindsight, I had one of the most amazing and important shifts of my life...

We have completed the third day of the Anusara Yoga Certified Teacher's Gathering, here, in North Carolina, and have one and a half days to go. There has been much sharing and discussion of important and relevant issues, and it occurred to me, that we are witnessing nothing more and nothing less that an evolution and a process that is historic.

As a former theologian, I recalled the Five Dilemmas in the Institutionalization of Religion by Thomas O'Dea, and it has been interesting to note some parallels to the growth and evolution of Anusara Yoga over a 13 year period.

I present a very brief overview. I strongly suggest looking us this research to really understand the complexities of what is at hand...

There is the Dilemma of Mixed Motivation. In the pre-institutionalization period of a religion, or organization, there is a gathering of disciples around someone who is very charismatic. Gradually, offices and roles arise to support the original vision of the group. However, as this group grows, the motivation for the group may also grow and change, and this can be the source of much conflict.

There is the Symbolic Dilemma where ritual or certain practices develop to support the original charismatic moment and movement. The danger here is that the rituals that evolve and are set in place, may do so in a way that it is cut off the subjective experience of many participants.

There is also the Dilemma of Administrative Order where charismatic leadership sets up a complex legal structure to oversee and run the evolving institution. It can become bureaucratic and unwieldy and thus its running can become ineffective and lead to breakdowns. The challenge is to develop a structure that provides order without being over-elaborated.

There is the Dilemma of Delimitation. In order to have an effect on others, the emerging institution has to deliver a message that its followers can understand and relate to. In the process of doing so, institutions often concretize their message and lose the original spirit of that message.

Finally, there is the Dilemma of Power, which deals with the process of conversion versus coercion of the participants of the organization. As O'Dea noted, an institution, particularly if it is religious or spiritual in nature, has a set of values it seeks to legitimize, and cannot do so without a relation to authority and power structures which is unavoidable.

While O'Dea's study focused on the development of religious institutions, such as Christianity, I find his framework useful to understand the evolution of Anusara Yoga to some extent. In other words, everything goes through stages and growing pains - but it is how we navigate the process that makes the difference.

I have presented a very simplified version of O'Dea's work that doesn't do it justice, more as invitation for others to reflect more on this and explore it further. I know many are unnerved or perhaps confused by what they are seeing, as things grow and change within Anusara Yoga. I, on the other hand, am fascinated to witness what is evolving - but most particularly I am very much touched and inspired by the incredible group of people that have come together to shift the vibration of this planet and who have already made such a difference in the world and in other's lives. In the final analysis, this is all that matters to me.

The Joy of Community: Kula-Family

Yesterday, we concluded the first of five days of the Anusara Yoga Certified Teacher's Gathering, an event which takes place every year, and is one of my favorites, because it feels like a coming home...

It is an amazing experience to practice and share together with other like-minded souls - some who I see only once a year. We come together to practice with - and be inspired by our Master Teacher, John Friend, the founder of Anusara Yoga. I will just list a few of the many gems of wisdom he laid gently before us, like a delicate wreath or arrangement of blossoms...

Anusara Yoga is a balanced dance between opposites...

Use the breathe to open your own pose - in your own time...

If one part of your body is more open than the other side, the pulsation is unequal...

Always give yourself the time to let the Shakti move through you...

Shiva is consciousness (statis); Shakti is consciousness (dynamism)...

You cannot rush your time to open in a pose. Your time is your time...

In Tadasana the center - your core - is moving faster. This is Shiva. Shakti is the outer body...

When you get lined up, there can be an opening...

These are just a small sample of the Tweets I posted to Twitter last night. For those of you who would like to follow tweets from the Gathering, go to Twitter and use this hashtag: #ctgnc

Enjoy!

Abide In Me

I arise with a love song in my heart - "Abide in Me," sung to me by the Divine...The Beloved invites me into Sacred Space, every morning without fail...

I arise as I do every morning, and step into the gift of another day - it is unlike any that has come before - and it will never be the same again...Thus, every morning, is nothing more and nothing less than an invitation to experience another miracle...

I arise and before any task is undertaken, or even the first coffee of the day is imbibed, and I sit in meditation, whether I want to or not...I sit, not out of duty, but out of love, and because I believe...

"When you abide in Me,
Then I'll abide in you.
My Words in your heart--
Child believe
That when you seek My Face
And make me your First Love,
Then all the rest
Will be taken care of...

Don't worry what the future may hold,
For I have overcome the world
And all these things speak
Our solemn joy will be complete...

When you abide in Me,
Then I'll abide in you..."

The one who abides in God is truly, a Lover of God - and I am blessed to dance with others who are Lovers of God as well...

I arise with a love song in my heart and answer a sweet summons that invites me to roam in untold palaces and places of sheer bliss. My heart swells with gratitude, and it gives birth to this...

Lover of God

You are a Lover of God
Every morning the sun
Rises in your heart

Like Hafiz--

"You know the True Nature
of your Beloved.
In His Loving Eyes,
your every thought,
word, and movement
is always beautiful."

You are Lover of God
You abide in Him--
And the Beloved abides in you
As your First Love

Hafiz knew--

"We cannot count
all the ecstatic lovers
who are dancing there
behind the mysterious veil."

But, only One Love matters--
That First and Only Love
That has stood the test of Time
From Here until Eternity,
Claiming our hearts
And setting our souls on fire,
Forever making each one of us--
A Lover of God

(To hear the song "Abide In me," by Kristin Chenoweth, go to:
http://s0.ilike.com/play#Kristin+Chenoweth:Abide+ )

The Gift of Prayer

There are so many gifts we may receive over the course of a lifetime. Some of them, will surely fade away with time. And truly, very few will be remembered and treasured, and be with us for years and even decades to come...

The gift of love - is one of the most beautiful gifts we can receive. But, sometimes, love too, fades away, and at other times, for reasons unknown and not fully understood, someone who was deeply loved, no longer plays a significant part in our lives. Such are the ways of life...

Still, I believe, that every loving word or thought ever uttered, continues to reverberate for all of Eternity. Somewhere, out there - every genuine expression of love continues to glow, flickering like a candle in the great Cosmic Darkness. Therefore, we should choose our thoughts and words carefully, and never lightly, for they also have a karmic component...

But perhaps, the most enduring and most selfless gift that any of us can give or receive, is the Gift of Prayer...

Today, lost in my own prayers and meditations, my thoughts turned to a "Special Soul" in my life who is gifted in ways too numerous to properly note. Yet, I feel that in many ways, her greatest gift in this lifetime, is to pray for others deep into the night, like a Bodhisattva - someone who hears the cries of those suffering and in need - and vows - out of great compassion - to stay here until every last soul attains Nirvana - or sweetly merges with the Divine...

This gift - unlike any other - withstands the test of Time - and has a tremendous Karmic impact - for both the giver of the Gift of Prayer - and the one who is receiving the Gift. Today, as I prayed for this dear soul, who does not often take her own needs in consideration, I was grateful beyond words for the gift of her prayers in these last few years. There is truly, no greater gift that two souls can give one another. And so, it inspired this poem...

The Gift of Prayer

You have the Gift of Prayer
Among so many other gifts

Your prayers rise
Like incense--
And are heard by the Beloved
But answered
By His Mother--
As the Divine Feminine

I am a blessed recipient
At times, as are so many others,
All of us, so deeply touched
By your Gift of Prayer

Hafiz, also, once treasured
The beauty of such a gift:

"This is the kind of Friend
You are--
Without making me realize
My soul's anguished history,
You slip into my house at night,
And while I am sleeping,
You silently carry off
All my suffering and sordid past
In your beautiful hands."

Every Soul has its special gift--
And yours, among so many,
is sublime and priceless:
The Gift of Prayer

Teaching What We Need to Learn

I invited my students to take a deeper foray into the theme we have been developing and fleshing out so far this session. The first week, I asked them to connect more deeply to the wisdom of their hearts, so that in the second week, they could more freely ride, the currents of grace...

In the third week, I invited them to ride these currents even more so, by stepping into the flow, so they could be danced in the dance, and embraced in a delicious fluidity, becoming a meditation in motion...

And this week, I asked my lovely garden of yoginis to come to their mats, surrender - and invite the Shakti - or Divine energy into their lives by simply repeating to themselves, over and over again, throughout the practice, "Come dance with me!"

I shared with them, that I was not asking them to do anything I had not been willing to do or explore myself. And throughout the course of the week, I witnessed every one of my students step into the current of grace, as they were led in the dance - and each and every one did several handstands - where none had been achieved before - or in some cases - not even attempted...

It was a beautiful thing to behold - each experience more sacred than the next. I witnessed some women who believed this would never happen for them - step into the rich currents of grace and dance with the Shakti - with the Divine - upside down for the first time in their lives!

I will not see my students next week, as I will be at the Anusara Yoga Certified Teacher's Gathering in North Carolina - a veritable "love-fest" of sorts. I will get to see some folks I have not seen all year. But I encouraged them to continue to enter into the dance, but by inviting the Divine, the Universal, whatever they resonated with - into their lives first...

After teaching today, I reflected on the many emotional moments that occurred as some of my students stepped into the dance and their own power. I told them - if you can do this - you can do anything.

I shared with them how I struggled with this pose for years on my own - without anyone to coach me - or encourage me - until I found the right teachers who cared enough to help me succeed and grow. This is what I have received within the Anusara Yoga community. And I vowed that I would do and give nothing less to my own students.

Years ago, I learned, we teach what we need to learn. And so it is, that lately, every thing I have been asked to do - classes or workshops - and every student that has come to me - has a lesson for me - perhaps amplifying something I need to work on - and the lessons spill into all areas of my life.

I invited my students to not only step onto their mats and say - "Come dance with me!" But, I also asked them to consider doing this off the mat as well - in every project they undertook, in every moment of difficulty, or conflict, or challenge - in their meditation or prayer - in every aspect of their lives. For truly - what happens on the mat is a metaphor for our lives - and the insights we gain there affect all the other areas of our lives as well...

Go forth today - and every day - and invite the Divine into every aspect of your life - by simply saying - "Come dance with me!" And then, as St. Francis de Sales exhorted, back in the 17th century - "Be who you are - and be that well!" In so doing, you will teach others, what you need to learn.

Come Dance With Me

I step onto the mat, and invite the Shakti energy - which is nothing more and nothing less than Divine energy - to move through me, to lead me - and I say, "Come dance with me!"

I do not say - "I will dominate." Instead I say, "Lead the way!" I bow to my heart. I surrender. I let go...

I sit in meditation, and I invite Divine energy and Love to envelop me - and heal me - and those I love and pray for as well - on my ever expanding list of requests. I repeat so many personal mantras and prayers: "I and the Father are One..." Yes - we are - and because we are One - I let go, and I say, "Come dance with me!"

I sit down to work, preparing various lesson plans - for my yoga classes, and for workshops. I seek to become a vessel and chalice for Grace that I may say what what needs to be said in order to help others awaken, so that I may reflect back the Grace that already abides in all whom I encounter - as I say, "Come dance with me!"

In every act, and every word - in every task I undertake - especially those that are challenging - I pray that I may be always open to Grace - inviting the Shakti - the very energy of the Divine to flow through me, as I say, "Come dance with me!"

My practice of Anusara Yoga is a practice of the heart and a dance of transformation. It bids me always to come back home to my heart, and the heart always knows what is best. And my heart always says, "Come dance with me!"

Closer to God

This morning, as I sat in meditation, I thought to myself, that everything that happens in our lives, is meant to bring us closer to God - however you envision the Divine to be in your life. Having been a theologian in a former life, I am comfortable with the notion of God - but I also know that many are not. So substitute whatever word or concept works for you - the Universal, Love, Compassion, the Force...

I realized, as my Reiki teacher, Frans Stiene recently reminded me - that we only know that we have truly become one with the Reiki energy, or Divine energy, or the Shakti energy (it is really all one anyway!) when the fruit of our practice has rendered us less angry, anxious, and fearful. When we choose to live more authentically and compassionately, then we are simply, closer to God...

I realized, that when we are able to see and accept the Divine Order of things in everything that happens to us, we are closer to God...

I realized, that when we are able to see past the things that irritate us, or which we would rather re-write in some way, we are closer to God...

I realized, that when we give fully and completely, without expectations, we are closer to God...

I realized, that if we consider that everyone that we encounter - those who are easy to love - and those who aren't so easy to love - are there to teach us needed lessons, then we are closer to God...

I realized, as my yoga teacher explained the practical meaning of the Siva/Shakti energies in class today - that it is the Shakti energy that invites us to grow - and when we step into the currents of grace and are willing to dance the dance of transformation - no matter how difficult it may be - we are closer to God...

I realized, that every time we forgive others, and ourselves, we are closer to God...

I realized, that when you love and accept what is, you are closer to God...

I realized, as I had lunch with my yoga teacher today, that when you choose to be of service to others, the ripple effects of your actions reach very distant shores, and we are closer to God...

I realized, that when you have a community of dear souls, loved ones, friends, and like-minded embodied spirits that you can share your life journey with - and meditate with - we are closer to God...

I realized, that every day is a gift, every moment is all there is - and it is the only time we have in which we can truly be - closer to God...

Don't Go Back to Sleep

The night is long, and busy, filled with Divine Presence and visitations...

I drift in and out of sleep and meditation - sometimes I am wide awake, sometimes caught in the place between planes of existence and levels of consciousness...

I become an expansive ball of white light - of healing energy - of Divine Love - and I enfold in this Light and Love, all those for whom I am praying...Somehow, I too am touched, and I feel myself undergo a powerful shift and feel an incredible lightness in my soul...

I see the clock, at 12:45 AM, at 4:44 AM - having resisted looking at it many times before...but at 5 AM, I hear the birds singing with wild abandon. They are whispering Rumi's poem into my ear:

"The breeze at dawn
has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what
you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back
and forth between the door sill
where the worlds touch.
Don't go back to sleep."

And somehow, I feel caught in between those worlds, a busyness of souls surrounding me as if they were holding a conference in my bedroom. I ask Our Lady of Grace to be released of a burden, and feel her presence and the prayers of a dear soul as well...

I arise and sit once again, my soul having been kissed awake. I answer the summons. I am light. I am not where I was yesterday. This is another day. And it silently beckons: don't go back to sleep...

Gratefulness

This morning, after meditation, I saw a beautiful YouTube video entitled "Gratefulness," that had been posted onto Facebook, narrated by Brother David Stiendl-Rast. I had the opportunity to study with him while I was in graduate school at St. Louis University, in the late 70's. I pursuing an MA in Theology at the time.

Brother David spoke about living each day as if it were your first and your last - living it fully - and seeing each day with new eyes - and experiencing each day with genuine surprise. It warmed my heart, and I thought to myself, what a lovely way to live each day.

It was a beautiful morning, and after my meditation and my practice, I headed out the door to meet a dear friend I had not seen in a few months to walk the labyrinth. I have been walking this labyrinth for a dozen years, and I have often met this special soul over the years to walk it with her and meditate together. We had the labyrinth, a replica of the one at Chartres Cathedral in France, to ourselves, and we were lost in meditation at the center for a good while. We both came out of meditation almost simultaneously, and enjoyed a heart to heart, sharing deeply for the span of a couple of hours in the center.

I was grateful for our time together, and our ability to find reasons to be grateful in the midst of so much suffering around us. Each one of us shared stories of so many around us dying, and hurting. My own friend had just been in Times Square in New York this weekend, on the very evening that the car bomb that had been left in an SUV was discovered. It was parked in front of the theatre she and her family were supposed to attend that evening! We marveled at the miracle that saved her life and that of a virtual "sea of humanity" - to use her own words, that night. So much suffering and pain averted!

Today was also a day for seeking forgiveness for old wounds inflicted - and it was a day for receiving it as well. It was a day where I was able to go on a long walk, and enjoy the beauty of a spring afternoon in all its splendor. It was a day for gratefulness in so many ways - for the opportunity to practice, to meditate with a friend, for sharing, and for forgiving and letting go and finally moving on...

It was truly a special day. And I am grateful for it, and all the ones that have become before me - for they have made me who I am. And, I am also grateful for all the days that are still to come...

"Nothing is worth more
than this day."
~ Goethe