The River and the Heart

This morning, I enjoyed lazily floating on the river for a while. It was breezy and much cooler, and a joy to momentarily escape from the intense grip of the oppressive heat of the summer thus far...

I had the river all to myself, and the bass were happily jumping, dancing, and splashing about. It gave me great joy to witness the lightness of their play and hearts!

I took the time to reflect on some insights that Suzie Hurley, my yoga teacher, shared in class yesterday. She spoke of how in the Native American tradition, each of the four chambers of the heart symbolizes the qualities of being clear, full, open, and strong. And she added a fifth chamber or element - which she felt completed the picture - that of lightness...

A strong heart implies the expression of true courage. A clear heart implies one has generally let go of biases. With a clear heart, enlightened assessments are made that are free of blame and judgment. A full heart is one that embraces love for itself and others, and an open heart is one that deeply connects and feels, and embraces life with acceptance and wisdom. Suzie, my teacher, added her own fifth chamber or quality, and that is, the ability to engage all of these aspects with a certain lightness of being...

As I floated on the river this morning, I thought of the river, and how it too, must have a heart. This river has been a silent witness to the many trials and tribulations, and facets of my life over the last three years. And, it is important to note, that I have never stepped into the same river twice!

Back in the winter of 2007, when I began visiting the river every morning to do my meditations, I sat on a lonely bench overlooking the river. Then, I eventually progressed to sitting on rocks a mere footprint away from the river's edge. I sat there through every season, until the river beckoned me, and invited me in to its healing waters. For nearly a year and half, I systematically paddled upstream and through my emotions, always charting the same path, until it released me...

This year, the rocks where I once sat are obscured by huge trunks that floated down during the spring after the massive and historic snowfall we had in the winter. It is now a much different shoreline from the one I came to intimately know, as only a lover knows... And today, I noticed the lonely bench where I once sat has been removed. A patio of sorts is being constructed instead, which will house many picnic tables. So, this beautiful spot will no longer have the contemplative appeal and draw for me that it once had. But then, I have not sat on that bench for nearly two years...

This week, I read so many articles and posting about my yoga teacher, John Friend. Some of it was very beautiful, and a testament to the impact the system he founded has had on so many. But there have been other individuals too, who have written and posted disparaging and down right mean cartoons as well. And I can't help but wonder how that serves anyone, especially if you are a teacher yourself, and have students that look up to you, and see you as an example to follow. As teachers, we have a sacred responsibility to embody the ethics of our tradition to the best of our ability, especially if we truly acknowledge the spiritual roots of our practice.

I decided on this river today, to commit once again, to improving certain areas of my life with a full, open, strong, clear - and lighthearted heart. Everything that is of value to us resides in the heart. In its secret chambers resides our deepest essence, and it is there, I believe, that we also encounter the Divine...

As the waves gently carried me back to the boat launch area, I gave thanks again for my weekly yoga teacher, Suzie Hurley, whose joy and enthusiasm, and genuine love and concern are such a blessing to me. I thanked God for John, and his impact on my life. I thanked God for those wonderful friends that have entered my life in the last 8, 5, and 3 years of my life - for they are truly friends of the soul and heart. I thank God for having steered me towards a local and a larger yoga community that is overwhelmingly positive, and supportive, and is a reflection and testament to its founders. And I thank God for the experience to feel every aspect of my heart richly and deeply, for it all leads to greater clarity, fullness, strength, openness - and ultimately, a lightness of spirit and being!

The Four Gates of Speech

In the last few days I seem to have been caught in the vortex of a maelstrom of words, flying around the very globe with incredible intensity, passion, and power...

Some of them truthful, some of them not...

Some of them hurtful, some of them uplifting...

Some of these words have brought tears to my eyes, because they were so touching, or because they engendered such sadness...

How can such a community of yoga practitioners be so grateful, and gracious, and vindictive, and unloving as well? And yet, how could we not? We are all part of the same human family with all its foibles and limitations...Still, we loosely assent to and try to embody, an ancient code of ethics, The Yamas and Niyamas, with so many souls already radiantly striving towards greater luminosity...

I have read the words of colleagues and friends who have spoken of a shared teacher whose instruction and genuine care has been nothing short of transformational in their lives. I know what they speak of - because they have given words to my own experience...

But I have also been privy to words and jokes that have been hateful, and spiteful as well, and spread all over social networking communities...

In my own writing, to others, and particularly here on this blog, I have tried to write about things that are inspirational or that are, at the very least, informational. I have strived, to take the high road, as my own teachers encouraged me to do these last few years, when I traversed a difficult time...

And so, yesterday, I was reminded of the Four Gates of Speech, an ancient Sufi practice, by my friend and colleague, BJ Galvan. John Friend, our shared teacher - often reminds his students to employ these questions, and at least consciously, I have tried not to hurt others through my words - written or spoken. And if I have, it has been inadvertent, and for this, I am deeply sorry!

This world, would be a much better place if we observed this practice, and asked ourselves:

Are these words true?
Are they necessary?
Are they beneficial?
Are they kind?

The practice bids us to not say what we consider articulating or writing - if the answer to any one of those questions is a "no."

As I try to watch, the flurry of words being flung far and wide, as best as I can without attachment, I am reminded of this wonderful practice. It is an opportunity for me, to not judge others for their words and actions, but to consider instead, the power of my own words. We have the ability to deeply affect others by what we say, and do as well...Practitioners of yoga know of the power that is inherent in words, and mantras, because of the teaching of Matrika Shakti...

At the end of each day, I like to review my day, and consider my own "bon mots" and good deeds. Did I make a difference in someone's life today? Did I smile at the tired cashier? Did I reach out to a stranger? Was I patient and caring with loved ones? I like to think of two imaginary pots before me, and depositing those actions and words like coins in my pot. I only hope, that at the end of every day, and especially my life - that my good words and deeds exceed my personal failings.

For God and Guru

Today is a day for giving thanks. On this day, under the Full Moon in July, all esteemed teachers are honored and revered as sacred, in the Hindu tradition...

So today, I give thanks for all of my teachers, and my teachers' teachers - they form a long line of unbroken sages and channels of wisdom - going back to the beginnings of time...

I especially thank God for my spiritual teachers - those who showed me the way to faith and Divine love - and those who both introduced me to - and helped me deepen my yoga and meditation practices...I need not name them...They know who they are. I know who they are...And I honor them - without the slightest reservation and hesitation...

I am thankful that I found my teachers in every instance - those who were a positive influence - and those who were not - for each one taught me what I needed to know and showed me what kind of a student and teacher I wished to be - and did not want to be as well...

I am thankful for the impact of my most significant teachers - for when I was ready - they appeared offering guidance and direction, in worlds seen and unseen...

I am thankful for all of my angels, and spiritual guides - in this world and other planes, and for those who have crossed over as well, for they reach down and touch me, and continually show me the way I must go and the path I must walk...

And so, I wrote this morning:

Today and every day,
celebrate a rich harvest of blessings.
Today and every day,
give thanks for your teachers, and your teachers' teachers.
Today and every day,
forgive everything and everyone. Forgive the unforgivable.
Today and every day,
love with great abandon.
Today and every day,
live your life to the fullest.
Today and every day,
dwell most fully in each present moment.
Today and every day,
honor, live, forget, and love...

For God and Guru--
what else is there?

Anusara as a Practice that Says Yes!

This morning, I went for a long walk along the beach after reading a few entries by Paramahansa Yogananda on practicing the Presence of God.

There are many ways to practice the presence of the Divine in our lives, through our meditations, our actions towards others, and our yoga as well. Anusara Yoga is such a practice - one that asks us to experience and reflect the Divine in our lives. It continually invites us to say yes to the whole river of life!

Yesterday, an article about John Friend and Anusara Yoga appeared online on the New York Times web site. It was titled "The Yoga Mogul." You can "Google" it, or check it out here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/25/magazine/25Yoga-t.html

Many of us knew this article was coming, and so we had been looking forward to it. I know that John granted the author of the article unlimited access for some time. So, I dove into reading it at length, with a certain degree of excitement, as I know did many of my colleagues and peers.

While there were many things I resonated with, there were others that I found were not accurate portrayals of John or Anusara. I can only speak from my own experience of having known John since 1997, and working with him and thirteen others very closely on the Anusara Yoga Curriculum Committee. Not once during that time have I witnessed any behavior that was not moral or ethical. That is not to say that John has not made mistakes. But, I can attest to the fact that I have seen him apologize publicly on a few occasions where it was warranted, and once to me privately as well...

No individual or organization is perfect. But what I most love about this community of practitioners, is that we are genuine, and we strive to become better, despite our individual flaws and limitations...

I can honestly say that John has always asked us to be respectful of other yoga traditions and styles. And unfortunately, I can't say I've personally lived up to this myself. I know I tend to be arrogant at times about a lot of things, it's something I've struggled with all of my life. And in regards to Anusara, I tend to be a self-appointed "Anusara evangelist!"

John has never extolled a personal cult of himself. If anything, he has always been quite down to earth in his dealings with us, and I am amazed how available he makes himself to his students at workshops and trainings, often times hanging around until it is necessary...

I've always experienced John to be very open and honest about his life, his upbringing, his family, and his spiritual journey, almost to the point of genuine vulnerability at times. And it is something I both appreciate and can relate to. The very fact that our system begins with the First Universal Principle of Alignment of "Opening to Grace" - for me - says it all. I often tell my students, that no other system begins from this premise - which literally opens the door to transformation. If you open to grace - you have to say yes - to the whole river of life and all its permutations! And you have no idea where it may take you!

My experience of the Anusara community and of John especially - is one of generosity. He often foots the bill for many meals, and while it may not be appropriate to mention it here, when the Curriculum Committee met with him in Texas last December to revise and finalize the plans for the Anusara Immersion Curriculum, he took care of all of our accommodations, meals, and expenses, and went way beyond any expectations I had.

Now, all that being said, I think that any publicity is both good and bad. And whatever discussion it generates, is also good - because it invites dialogue, reflection, critique - and it can only help us grow and improve...

Those of us who practice Anusara know that our lives have been irrevocably changed and we have been profoundly touched by knowing each other. More than once, I have been gently challenged to grow by members in this community, who have supported me and invited me to step out of my comfort zone. I am deeply grateful for that.

But perhaps, what I am most grateful for, are the times John took time out of his busy schedule to check in with me when I was in the throws of a very deep depression. It was a time when others I had known for years did not do so, and never checked in. It was a time when there were days I did not want to get out of bed. Thankfully, one dear friend did often coax me into going out for coffee. I still vividly remember the mornings I was depressed to wake up and realize I was still alive - that things were not just a bad dream. I highly recommend having a good therapist during such period of life, if you experience this. It is also especially good and a blessing to have friends and a community to support you during your pain and sorrow. I will never forget the souls who reached out to me. (Scorpios never do!) Many hardly knew me. And all I can say, is John was one of those souls...

So, I am grateful for John. I am grateful for Anusara. And am grateful for all the wonderful people I have met in this community. I will do whatever I can to give back to it. And I will do my best to strive to always say yes - to the whole river of life!

Dreams, Forgiveness, and the Surf

I have been thinking a lot lately about the power and impact of dreams - and the effect they have in our lives, and the messages they often bring...

Just a couple of days ago, the Wall Street Journal ran an article about "Lucid Dreaming" - the ability to recognize you are actually dreaming in your dream and the conscious decision to change the script or outcome of the dream. I read about the pioneering research Stephen Laberge did in this field at Stanford University, back in the 80's, when I was very interested in dream interpretation, so this article contained little I hadn't heard before, except to correlate more recent applications to this research and to note the benefits to long time Buddhist monks and meditation practitioners.

Recently, I had a series of very powerful and telling dreams. Some were very vivid and frightening and I woke up with a start on a couple of occasions, with my heart pounding. One of them contained a very clear message about some current issues in my life. I found it hard to go back to sleep. But, as often happens, that very night, I had a second dream, where I was granted the opportunity to visit the afterlife, and I was struck by how lush and beautiful everything was, and how happy everyone was. Needless to say, I didn't want to come back. Then, somewhere during the course of the dream, I encountered the father of a dear friend, who actually died on my friend's birthday a few years ago. He had a very clear message for me. It was unmistakable. He gave very specific instructions, very similar to something his own daughter had shared and suggested to me a couple of months ago. I felt very much at peace as a result of this dream and this visitation...

When I shared the dream with my friend, she was not surprised. Her father has regularly visited her - in addition to her mother, her daughter, and a number of close friends, giving everyone needed and clear guidance. I felt both touched, and honored. My friend pointed out that her father had visited and supported her friends, something she considered incredible, and suggested I should follow his advice...

Dreams can sometimes change our lives, or the direction we take...

Yesterday, I taught the first week of a short course at Willow Street Yoga Center, titled, "The Yoga of Forgiveness." I was deeply impressed with the assemblage of students and what they shared when I asked them to introduce themselves and share why they came to this course and what they hoped to attain.

I noted that forgiveness is a practice - and a choice - that sometimes we must make over and over again. And throughout the six weeks we would come together, we would explore different ways to forgive others and ourselves through sharing, the practice of various techniques, meditation, asana, and so forth.

I began by telling them the story of Immaculee Ilibagiza, whose whole family, save one sibling, was brutally murdered during three months of the Rwandan Genocide in 1994. And still, she managed to forgive their assailant - the man who ordered all those murders. I shared other stories as well, taken from these very blog entries of the last few years.

I taught them a simple version of Tonglen - a practice of extending compassion - to ourselves, loved ones, and those we have difficulty with. I also taught them the practice of Ho'oponopono, a simple and ancient Hawaiian technique consisting of four simple sentences meant to clear and heal our relationships with ourselves and others, and I encouraged my students to chant them inwardly, everyday for a few minutes:

Forgive me.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
Thank you.

These four simple sentences can be arranged in any order. Often I just allow them to spontaneously emerge as they choose.

Finally, I asked my students to write down one to three things that they are grateful for - every day. In a week's time - we will share our progress, and note any subtle changes in our attitudes, our feelings, our perspectives, and our behaviors...

Today, I reflected on both the impact my recent dreams, and my own commitment to practice forgiveness as I walked along the beach in Hilton Head, South Carolina. The foamy surf was very warm and soothing, even though it was also hot and humid. Still, to go for a long, leisurely walk with sandals in hand, without any agenda for the afternoon, felt very healing to my heart and soul...

A couple of days ago, this same friend whose father "visited" me, and I, went for a walk by the lake near her home. I shared with her some changes I had recently enacted in my life, and some directions I was considering. Later, she wrote me, that she had sensed a shift in me. That I appeared more calm and settled, and focused - and she felt that I was on the right path...

How do we get to where we are going? In many different ways...For me, in this last week or so, it has entailed dreams, the practice of forgiveness, talks with a few dear friends, and walks around a lake and an ocean shore....

Moments That Are Heaven Sent

There are moments that are heaven sent...There are moments that are filled with messages...There are experiences and encounters that contain hidden treasures in the form of needed insights. There are messages received that disclose kernels of wisdom...

I find myself reflecting on so many things discussed with two dear friends recently - one over a couple glasses of wine, the other on a walk yesterday...Besides the companionship, both reunions have yielded a treasure trove of insights that my heart is deeply pondering...

Yesterday, I was able to articulate clearly, for the first time, a major shift in direction and perspective for me. I had the opportunity to hone this vision - this realization - more clearly through the gifted eyes and insight of a beloved soul...

Several times this summer, I have referred to being at a crossroads of sorts, and then today I receive Gena Livings' insightful newsletter with these words:

"There are many moments in your life when you stand, as it were, at a crossroad, with two ways lying before you. One road will leave to less gratitude, less kindness, less forgiveness, less honesty, or less love in the world. The other will leave to more gratitude, more kindness, more forgiveness, more honesty, or more love in the world.

In each moment, your work here on earth is to CHOOSE which road you will take."

Yes, we are continually making those choices. And as I shared with my friend yesterday, for several years I have largely relied on the guidance of others, as I've steered the ship of my life. Now, I want to rely more deeply on my inner wisdom and resources...

Every day, we make choices that do enable us to be more grateful and kind - and to see the goodness that is inherent in our experiences. I continually choose to envision a world that is a better place...

One of my favorite sayings by George Bernard Shaw, was quoted by Sen. Ted Kennedy, during the funeral of his own brother, Sen. Robert F. Kennedy:

"Some men [or women] see things as they are, and ask why?
I dream of things that never, were, and ask - why not?"

There are moments that are heaven sent - and insights that are gifts from God - presented by treasured souls. They remind us that that every day, we can begin again. Through our choices we can re-imagine ourselves and the world that we live in, and create a world and life that has never been before...

(For Gena Livings' website - visit:)
www.genalivings.com

Resistance is Futile!

"What you resist, persists!"

For the last several days, I have been reflecting on how what we resist in our lives, somehow persists. And this led me to recall the wonderful quote from the Borg in Star Trek - "Resistance is futile!"

What we avoid, in terms of inner work we must do, or in terms of issues that need addressing, somehow makes its way back to us - and pops up - rearing its demanding little head - even shouting at us and seeking our attention by exclaiming - "I will not be ignored!" (Like Glenn Close told Michael Douglas quite assertively, in "Fatal Attraction!")

I shared with a dear friend on a walk today, that as a result of my being under the weather and dealing with a number of physical issues this last month or so, I have had the opportunity to slow down, and more deeply reflect on my life, and as a result, some very interesting insights have come to me as I worked with setting some needed boundaries in my work, relationships, and other aspects of my life.

So, what is the opposite of resistance? One might certainly consider that it may be both acceptance, and surrender...

I also shared with my friend, that I often find it hard to reconcile certain aspects of Vedantic and Tantric philosophy. One advocates surrender and non-attachment, and the other teaches us to look for the good in all things and recognize that even in life's greatest challenges, there is a gift. I told my friend, that in meditation, I recently asked to be be shown which was a better path for me to follow and embody. Of course, I was thinking in either/or categories. And what I received in terms of a message, was simply that it was - "neither and yet both." And strangely, I found that insight both comforting and satisfying...

I find myself wondering what is really meant and implied by the practice of surrender and acceptance in one's life, and when it is - or it is not appropriate to exercise these practices - because if we really embraced them wholeheartedly and without question every time, there would be no opportunity for rightful and meaningful changes to occur, in addition to the rectifying of situations that warranted change. My friend offered a consideration to such scenarios that I had not thought of. She noted that perhaps the surrender and acceptance of a situation or a relationship should come only after you had tried everything within your power to improve them. This definitely made sense to me...

I do believe, there is a time for everything under the sun. The experience of resistance invites us to deeper introspection, reflection, and inner work. It may, by its very nature, signal a needed change in direction in our choices, our perspectives, in our spiritual or habitual practices, and ultimately in our relationships. This kind of resistance is not necessarily a bad thing, and of course, it is very Tantric in nature. But, at times, we need to surrender, to let go, and to accept what is - such as Vedanta and Buddhism and Christian spirituality teaches, and as so many enlightened teachers today advocate, like Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie, to name a few...

I do believe, we must take time to listen to what is going on inside of us. I shared with my friend today, that I had asked for clear signs in certain areas of my life. And she pointed out, how I had really received them in ways I had overlooked or not considered. And they were quite plentiful!

Resistance is futile if we don't see the things that need to be seen and we don't hear the things that need to be heard. Resistance is futile if we don't address the issues staring at us in the face - inviting a new layer of self-discovery...

I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet

I awaken to a sound I have not heard in years...Actually, I have not heard it in decades...

I KNOW it is not the sound of an airplane gone amiss, or flying too low - either arriving or departing from nearby Dulles Airport...

I know this sound - I recognize the unmistakable "OOMMMM" - exploding from the bowels of the earth, and I know it is an earthquake...

The earth's core - its very heart - will not be ignored. It has cried out to us. And it is doing so in a place where it has never made its presence felt like this!

I remember the first earthquake I experienced, at 15, in 1970, in the Dominican Republic - its magnitude was 6.5 - and I had just been operated and had my appendix removed. I remember the huge metal bed in the hospital shaking all over the place and I have vivid memories of an aunt who shielded my face with her body - and in an instant - I literally saw my whole brief life flash before me like a movie. It is true. This really does happen. I really thought that moment would be my last!

I flash forward, and think of this past month - and how in the small community and family of local Anusara Yoga practitioners I belong to - a few have celebrated both life and death. My own teacher, Suzie Hurley, lost her aunt and welcomed a new granddaughter into the world on the same day. And this morning, shortly before the earthquake, her own mother transitioned - daughter acting as midwife to her own mother, while she was being welcomed into eternal life - as Suzie herself so beautifully described it...

And just two days ago, it seemed like the whole Willow Street Yoga community - students and teachers, gathered for the beautiful memorial service for Harper Grace McIntyre - beloved miraculous baby of AJ and Jeff McIntyre - a child who came into the world and left it - so briefly - almost as if it transpired in the very same breath and its retention - a sacred "kumbhaka" in which the Divine embraced and received this child back again...

We all gathered to celebrate the life of this "Borrowed Angel" who touched so many lives so profoundly. The minister, Rev. Mark Greiner, beautifully wove the essence of the Christian tradition and its themes of resurrection and life - with the Tantric teachings of looking for the good in everything - and our own Anusara First Principle of opening to grace in every moment and every experience...

On this day, I feel the earth move - not so much under my feet as I heard Carole King sing so passionately, barely a month ago - but under my bed. I am reminded of the fragility of life. And of its mystery as well. We who believe, truly know - there is no such thing as death - just a mere passing from one plane to another. It is still painful for us to endure and experience - but it is also an invitation to experience joy. Every life is a gift...

I think of this, as the cave of my heart holds two beloved teachers and friends right now. I think of this, as I consider the community that supports them - both locally, and globally. I think of this, as I am reminded of that mightly "OOMMM" coming from the bowels of the earth. And once more, I realize - we are all one. We are - each and every one of us - an individual thread in the tapestry of life - each one of us adding our own unique color and hue to the whole design. For those of us who teach yoga - I offer the image that we are each a part of the template - and a pose - or its preparation - in the whole sequencing of life's practice...

The earth moved and spoke. And for a brief moment, it reminded me, of what is ultimately important: To live a life committed to loving everything and everyone to the best of our ability - and to always embrace the gifts life offers to us with a resounding - yes!

The Greatest Love Affair

On Sunday, I read these words in an interview with Angelina Jolie, where she shared the following:

"I always wanted a Great Love affair, something that feels big and full, really honest and enough. No moment should feel slight, false, or a little off. For me, it had to be everything."

I stopped for a moment and exhaled deeply, noticing I was holding my breath in an unintended "kumbhaka." Wow. This statement conjured up so many ideas and images. To love like that means - we have to live in the present moment very intensely.

I think we all feel like Angelina Jolie if we are honest with ourselves. And I believe when we live from the heart, intensely, when we practice, devotedly, and when are firmly anchored in the present moment - we connect deeply with these words. But what we can't do - is succumb to the belief that another person will truly provide that feeling and that experience for us...

I think of my yoga teacher, Suzie Hurley, the founder of Willow Street Yoga Center in Maryland, who shared with me this delicious insight, as she was getting ready to take off for her usual weekend getaway to the Eastern shore after teaching late at night. This is a woman who is very happily married and lives life to the full! She loves people - her husband, family, friends - but LOVES her time to herself just as deeply. She will spend hours in her kayak reading, or practicing outside. Her life has been rich and full and is populated with many. And yet she wrote to me last week:

"It's totally indecent how much I love my own company at times!"

Indecent? I think not! Wiser words were not shared! She knows that the true treasure of one's life lies hidden within...

I like to remind my students every now and then, that the poet Rumi, acknowledged that we are all microcosms of the macrocosm. Rumi declared very authoritatively:

"The whole universe is inside of you!
Ask ALL from yourself!"

Ironically, I have been pondering such things on my own of late, as I inadvertently sought for what I "needed" - outside of myself. And then, today, I received Gena Livings' wonderful newsletter, where she wisely observed the following:

"When you enter into a relationship, the first relationship must be with your Self. You must first learn to honor and cherish, strengthen and love your Self. You must first see your Self as worthy before you can see your beloved as worthy. You must first see your Self as blessed before you can see your beloved as blessed.

In truth, relationships are an OPPORTUNITY for growth, for full self expression, for lifting your lives to their HIGHEST potential, for healing every false thought or small idea you ever had about you, and for ultimate reunion with the DIVINE through the communion of your two souls.

The purpose of your relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might SHARE your completeness. Be well in your relationships!"

I was struck by the next to the last sentence:

"The purpose of your relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might SHARE your completeness."

Then I found myself thinking, how liberating this is! After all, the ONLY person we are in relationship with our whole lives - is ourselves - and our God - however we envision the Divine to be in our lives. Everyone else comes and goes. We are part of a family for a short while, perhaps entering others, we have friends, but most of them do not last our whole entire lifetimes. We may even have many lovers who also come ago...In the end - we have only ourselves. So yes, enjoy yourself and your own company...

I think of a dear friend who shared with me her own rendition and interpretation of a loved prayer by St. Teresa of Avila, which I have further re-imagined as a daily mantra for myself:

"Let nothing disturb me.
Let nothing frighten me.
Everything passes away except God.
God alone is sufficient."

Yes - God alone is sufficient. But, I am also reminded of a commentary Dr. Douglas Brooks did of a sutra, (a verse) in the Bhagavad Gita:

"We are sufficient unto our own joy."

Yes - we are sufficient unto our own joy. We are enough. We are MORE than enough - for we are Infinite. We are a spark of the Divine, embodied as a unique expression of the Divine's Love.

And thus I say, the Greatest Love Affair is with yourself. And the Greatest Romance, as Yogananda wisely observed, is with the Divine...These two endure for eternity.

(For Gena's website, visit:
www.genalivings.com

A Beginner's Mind, the Solar Eclipse, and New Moon

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to observe students who are training to be yoga teachers "team-teach" a class. At Willow Street Yoga Center, the "YTT's" have many opportunities to apprentice and teach, and they all take turns teaching the Community Class - a free yoga class that is offered every Saturday at Noon. It is Willow Street's way of giving back to the community, and for all of us who teach it, an opportunity for "seva" - that is, selfless service, as well...

Every week, I come to do this observation with a "beginner's mind." It is for me, an incredible honor to have been asked to help out my yoga community in this way. I like to remind myself of what it felt like to teach yoga, and be observed doing so, 14 years ago when I was training. Thus, I put the students at ease as soon as I arrive. I remember telling myself when I was first teaching years ago, that at least I was a teacher by profession and used to being observed, having begun my own career back in 1979. Still, teaching yoga was very different from teaching theology. Or at least it was back in the mid-nineties. In addition, I had to develop a whole other set of skills, like teaching the mirror image of a pose.

The observation I do, is followed by a lively discussion with the two teachers who split the class - one teaches the first half, and then assists, while the other teaches the second portion. I begin my remarks by looking for the good, and listing all the wonderful things I saw. Then, I give personal insights and highlights to each individual, followed by suggestions for both of them to deepen and improve their teaching.

Every time I observe, I find myself noting the areas I can improve in my own teaching as well. So, in many ways, this is an opportunity for me to grow as well, and reflect on those areas where I have become more lax...

Of course, these observations open the door to change and transformation - both for those being observed - and the one doing the observing...

This morning, I read a number of postings on the Solar Eclipse and the New Moon - both occurring today - and the unusual conjunction of planets not seen since September 11, 2001. Everything I read points the way to a time of great change, upheaval, chaos, non-traditional experiences, loss, and really - it was all about transformation on a scale perhaps not seen...

While a lot of what was described could seem frightening, I did not find it to be so. Perhaps because I have been experiencing some of these things described. One of the articles I read, suggested meditating, and keeping an evenness in one's emotions and so on, and giving intent to use the energies of the day in ways both useful and meaningful. This, of course, is certainly good advice generally...

This is a time for manifestation - for becoming most fully and deeply who we are meant to be. Perhaps you find yourself not satisfied with the way many things are in your life. Tune in and listen. Ask for clear signs. Ask to be shown the way. Invoke your guides, your angels, and loved ones on the other side - and ask them to help and support you. And with a beginner's mind - walk through the doorway into a richer expression of your dreams, your desires, and your life!

Today's River Lesson: Look for the Good

I wrote to a dear friend earlier today, and shared with her that I am currently in a "contractive" phase in my life...

Anusara Yoga is based on a very sophisticated system of Tantra philosophy, which embraces the key aspects of all Tantric teachings. John Friend, the founder of Anusara, aptly calls it - Shiva-Shakti Tantra.

In this school of thought, we acknowledge that everything is pulsation - and as such, there is an expansive aspect - and a contractive one - in everything that is vibratory. This is particularly evidenced when as instructors, we invite our students to engage and hug in (Muscular Energy) - in order to expand and shine out (Organic Energy).

But this does not just apply to our yoga practice - it directly affects all other areas of our lives as well...One is not better than the other - it just simply is. And we cannot have or experience one - without the other as well. Truly, every experience of contraction contains within it the seed for expansion - and vice versa.

So, this last month, I have been sidelined by infections, exhausted by medications, and over-exerting myself on several levels - thus experiencing a contractive phase physically, emotionally, and spiritually...

I went down to the river for a short while this morning, as a way to escape where I found myself, and also because it had already been a couple of weeks since my last visit. It was hot, humid, and the water table was visibly low in spots. At times, I was a mere few inches from the river bed. I had also forgotten how unpleasant paddling can be in July. The warm weather and waters creates a breeding ground for the hydrilla, which are literally choking the river at this time of year. There are patches of green here and there on the surface of the river, and I know that soon those patches will overtake a good portion of the surface. I realized that the river too, was in its contractive phase - and was not at its best or most beautiful...

Yet, these phases are important. They invite introspection. They afford one with an opportunity to re-group. All those days I simply laid in bed too tired to do anything else, I read books for pleasure - something I had not done in a long time! I wasn't just reading to prepare for a class or a workshop. I was reading books that were sensual and that were a feast for my senses - sometimes I read and re-read a sentence as if it were the first mouthful of an exquisite wine I were tasting for the first time - enjoying every subtle and nuanced flavor, delicately unlocked, as I swirled it around my tongue. Ah!

I also had the time to consider issues I needed to address in my life as well...

Yesterday, I went to take my yoga class with my wonderful teacher, for the first time in weeks, and it was a delicious class consisting of a gentle flow, some Yoga Nidra, and a couple of restoratives. It was just what the doctor ordered, and I was thrilled to be back just being a student.

On the way home, a friend I had taken to class and I, discussed how tired I had been feeling - not only physically, but in other ways as well. I shared with her that I had recently been re-setting needed boundaries in various relationships. This wise soul also noted that we must set boundaries in how much we give away for it can be depleting as well. We discussed how money is an energy exchange and at times, we need to decide how much to give, and for how long, and determine when an energy exchange is appropriate, which is something not always easy for me to do.

In this generally more contractive phase that I am currently experiencing, I am still reminded to look for the good in it. It is something that John Friend tells his students over and over again, practically every time I have studied with him. And it is something we need to remind ourselves of, over and over again as well. Such a simple thing - yet so hard to do at times!

There is certainly a lesson in everything that we experience. A contractive period helps us prepare for more expansive ones. The river too, will be swelling its banks later in the year, and it will be a delight to paddle in the coming fall season when the air is crisper.

There is an ebb and flow to everything that is normal - and there is more fluidity that is available to us if we avoid resisting what is. So wherever you are today, look for the good. There is an opportunity wrapped up in every obstacle - no matter how insurmountable. Look for the good in it. In ever challenge, is the seed for change - and for radical transformation and for growth as well. So - look for the good!

Wired for Joy

I am currently reading Every Day in Tuscany: Seasons of an Italian Life, by Frances Mayes, best known for her previous work, Under the Tuscan Sun.

I have delighted in reading every one of Mayes' books - because her prose is exquisite and it is informed and shaped by her life as a poet. I find myself underlining sentences for their sheer beauty, and I deeply enjoy doing so.

Here is someone who embodies a life lived in joy. That is not to say she has not experienced her own trials in life. Who hasn't? Still, she has created a life for herself that perhaps many of us only dream of...

I also recently came across another book, Wired for Joy. The title of this book intrigued me, because I have heard similar things before. For someone who struggles with depression, it may seem hard to imagine that this can be possible. Yet the book asserts that one can train the mind to move from stress to joy by focusing on re-wiring the emotional brain, rather than the thinking brain...

"There is a universal body posture that is a sign of positive emotions, usually with shoulders back, head up, perhaps even a smile on the face...Those specific body patterns draw upon a sensory modality, proprioception, which provides feedback to the brain on the status of the body. Each time you arrange your body in that posture, the brain interprets these signals as confirmation that you are in joy. Even if your mood is negative, shifting your body informs the brain that you are in joy."

Readers of this blog may recall that I have often quoted how ancient Egyptians were asked two questions to ascertain if they were worthy of the afterlife:

"Did you find joy? Did you bring joy."

It sounds so simple - and yet it is also so elusive at times...

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, the neuro-anatomist who is the author of My Stroke of Insight, documents, how during her own stroke, she came into a state of sheer bliss, that she realized was only a mere thought away. Yet, I wonder why is this easier for some to recognize and embody than it is for others? Why do some come into the world better equipped to make lemonade out of lemons?

As an Anusara Yoga teacher and practitioner, I know that the First Universal Principle of Alignment - "Opening to Grace," and engaging a good "shoulder loop" can open the door to transformation in mind, body, and soul. Certainly, poses such as Virabhadrasana 1, or Anjaneyasana - both beautiful and delicious back bends - can enable us to open the back doors of our hearts - so that we can more deeply receive and consequently embody a purely joyous state of being.

What a wonderful thought to consider - that we are wired for joy - and thus ultimately wired for ecstasy! This realization is very much supported and acknowledged by the Siva-Shakti Tantra roots of the yoga lineage that I practice and teach. This has been taught for centuries by many yogic sages who already knew this, and perhaps have been patiently waiting for us to re-discover it once again...