God Speaks in the Heart's Silence

In the last few weeks, three events occurred in quick succession, that knocked me out of my orbit. Each one more dreadful than the preceding one. Yet, in the midst of it all, I entered fully and joyfully into the celebration of the Christmas Season. And while I spent a few sleepless nights, and many cold and windswept days walking around, saying many different kinds of prayers - rosaries, mantras, and so forth - since I am comfortable in the spiritual practices of many traditions - I chose not to share the experiences with anyone at first.

But as the year began, I realized that turning to wise friends would actually help me put them all behind, and so I did. Each one, offered words of wisdom and insight, that were similar to ones that had come to me in the silence of prayer and meditation, for it is there that God speaks.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta, once said, during an interview for a documentary, that "God speaks in the silence of the heart, and we listen."

But the truth is, we make the choice - whether to listen or not - and whether to respond or not to the inner promptings of the heart...

As my analytical brain examined each situation from various vantage points, I came to see that there are many ways to look at each individual one. During meditation, I was able go to another plane and look at things from a distance, and remembered how Paramahansa Yogananda would often instruct, that our lives are lived on a stage. What happens is not as important as how we react to it all. In the end, God would consider how well we had played our roles. Our lives are fleeting after all, when one considers the incomprehensible vastness of eternity.

One dear friend reminded me, that there are so many different interpretations of reality. This, after I had read this quote from Pema Chödrön this morning:

"Seeing when you justify yourself and when you blame others is not a reason to criticize yourself, but actually an opportunity to recognize what all people do and how it imprisons us in a very limited perspective of this world. It’s a chance to see that you’re holding on to your interpretation of reality; it allows you to reflect that that’s all it is—nothing more, nothing less; just your interpretation of reality."

It was a beautiful reminder of our humanity and its flaws...

I shared with this friend, that intellectually I knew, that God forgives everything - in an instant. But that it is often much harder to forgive ourselves for our many failings.

I shared with another friend, whose family had been thrown their own curve ball at New Year's - a year begun with so much anticipation, followed by devastating news, how in the midst of all these set backs, and the challenges many were predicting for 2012, that it was important not to go to this place of fear - not be ruled by it - but instead - to radiate love in every way...

We all face our own challenges - each and every one of us. The four people I spoke to, each gave me an important insight - but each one also confirmed one that I had arrived at, because I had been listening, and praying, and waiting, and asking for answers...

God does speak in the silence of the heart, if we are willing to listen...

I realized afterward, I should have shared these events more readily, and on one of my prayerful walks, I sent blessings to many in need - those I have been asked to pray, those I have slighted, and those connected to me in deep suffering...

We can be bombarded by so much at times. But in my prayer, I gave intent - with God, Miraculous Mary, Yogananda, and all spiritual beings and teachers, guides and angels, ancestors - indeed, all who look out for me on the other side as my witnesses - to only meet - to the best of my ability - all waves of anger, negativity, and so forth with waves of love - sent out from the shores of my soul. May everything that I ever encounter be neutralized and united there - made ever one in God. I gave this intent - for this lifetime - for all lifetimes - and in between lifetimes - forever!


Gary said…
My experience with Baptist/evangelical theology can best be described as a wild Roller Coaster ride: a lot of great psychological, emotional, and spiritual highs and a lot of deep psychological, emotional, and spiritual lows. Why?

In Baptist theology, your Justification and your Sanctification---your essence as a follower of Christ...if you boil it all down...is really dependent on you and your feelings.

Do I feel saved? Do I feel I really repented in my born again experience? Do I feel that I truly had faith when I made a decision for Christ; when I prayed a version of the Sinner's Prayer? If I am really saved, why do I feel at times that my faith is so weak? Maybe I need to do the born again experience again; maybe I need to pray the Sinner's Prayer again, just to be 100% sure that I am saved. I want to know without any doubt that I am saved, and if I do not feel saved, I begin to doubt my salvation.

Baptist/evangelical theology tells me that I will always feel Christ's presence and strength inside me, if I am a true believer. But what if I don't feel him there sometimes? If it is true that I should always be able to hear God speak to me, in an inner voice or feel his inner presence move me/lead me to do his will, what is going on when I don't hear anything or feel anything? Have I committed some unknown sin and he is refusing to hear me? Or is the reason that I don't hear or feel him present within me... is because I'm not really saved!

I was so incredibly happy to find orthodox (confessional) Lutheranism and find out that my feelings have nothing to do with my Justification, my salvation, nor with my Sanctification, my walk with my Savior and Lord! My salvation was accomplished 100% by God.


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