Surfing Transformation

This month is nearly over - and the summer is now officially for me - two thirds of the way through as well...

It was not the kind of summer I had originally envisioned for there were so many unexpected turns that were taken. But in my heart of hearts, I know that everything was as it needed to be - and indeed, everything is always as it should be...

I spent Saturday afternoon and early evening, attending Sally Kempton's workshop, titled - "Surfing Transformation: How to Navigate Your Journey of Inner Awakening and Change," at Willow Street Yoga Center.

I have regularly attended Sally's workshops, and it was also wonderful to return to Willow Street and see so many friends.

As always, Sally had much to say that was helpful to me. Her insights and the practices she led us through were particularly meaningful. In fact, a couple of the practices resulted in one of the most profound "aha!" moments that I have had - and I know I will be sitting with those insights and reflecting on them for a long time!

Without getting into a lot of the details, I had a profound realization regarding my relationship to knowledge in general, and a needing to know as much as I can - about a lot of things...

Yesterday afternoon, I typed my copious notes, and just as I was finishing them, I saw a Facebook update a dear friend posted. Ironically - he misquoted the poet Mary Oliver - but his post was exactly worded as I needed to hear it in that particular moment. Though he corrected his posting, I will re-create the original one I saw and read - as I "remember" it (Thank you Bill for posting it!):

"I believe I will never quite know.
Though I play at the edges of knowing,
[My] part is not knowing...

I leave you with some excerpts from my notes, to give you a taste of the wonderful experiences I had, that I know will enable me to surf these waves of transformation that have engulfed my life this year. These are my notes quoting Sally to the best of my ability:

"We do not transform ourselves – we choose to align with the process and the consciousness that allows transformation to occur. Effort and grace are the two wings of the bird. But effort is very subtle in this process – allowing for grace to be the transformative power."

"Every transformation started with some type of awakening. It might be seeing and recognizing a behavior pattern within yourself that is dysfunctional – or it may involve an awakening to love."

"If it were true that my spiritual process was crucial to the future of humanity - would I be inspired to live in the noblest way? This is a good and interesting question because doing our spiritual practice for ourselves is not enough - it's important to understand it's not just about us."

"If you give yourself fully to the journey - you will experience transformation. There is always redemption. And there is always the experience of constant awakening."

"Transformation is different from awakening. Transformation takes place in the becoming of reality. Awakening is an embrace into the beingness of you."

For more information on Sally Kempton, visit her website:
www.sallykempton.com

You Kiss Me Awake (Poem)

A few days ago, I heard from someone I connected with years ago on Twitter. She is a gifted writer who posts these short, poetic musings I have always loved and found inspirational. A couple of years ago, I wove some of them into a poem.

This wonderful, creative soul, told me, that even after all this time, she still adores this poem. I read through it again, and the feelings I had when I wrote it, came back tumbling into my heart - and so, I share it here with you!

You Kiss Me Awake

My love is eternal--
Once given
It cannot be rescinded
Or lessened in any way

My love is eternal--
And the beat of my heart
Goes forth into the Universe
To vibrate there forever

I shall love you eternally
Despite trials and tribulations,
Through painful separations
And the sweetest reunions

I slumbered for centuries
Waiting patiently for you:

"Whisper here-
in the ear in my chest."

I listen carefully,
Not wanting to miss
The sound of your heart
Beating against mine

"I am a layer between layers.
a breath between breaths.
a sigh.
a pause."

I wait for your slightest glance--
And acknowledgment
Of my presence

I am breathless without you,
For you animate
My very soul, and together

"We are the breath
in between the earth
and your soul."

You course through my veins
Intoxicating me
Like the rarest elixir

"I am the bud
and you are the stem
that anchors me."

I cannot imagine
A life without you

I will not accept a future
Devoid of your presence

I weep at the prospect
Of being deprived
Of your touch, your scent,
And your smile, but--

"In one tear there is
an ocean of light."

I drown in a mere drop
Of your love,
Honored to be one
Of the many
That have slipped
Through your arms

"If you ride the wave
with me, eventually
we can float."

And I do--
I float downstream
On the surging river
Of your love

Where I will end up--
I do not know,
But wherever I go
I will wait until

"Your sun kisses
my soul awake."

(Co-written with @planethealer, Becky Bills, 4-8-10)

Ruminations With My First Cup of Coffee

This morning, as I sat down with my first cup of coffee, I pondered these questions, and then, I sent them to a select few, telling them, that I didn't expect answers from them, but I got some incredible insights and responses back from pretty incredible people anyway. Perhaps my first "mistake" was deciding to have a cup of coffee before sitting down to meditate:

"So many great teachers - Byron Katie, Adyashanti, Buddhist practitioners, and Hindu sages - instruct that the key to happiness, well-being, and so forth - is accepting what is - and letting go...

But, while I believe this on some level, it also does not resonate on other levels...

If we accepted what is, all of the time - we would not change philosophically, ideologically, scientifically, or spiritually...

If someone didn't think outside of the box - great discoveries or advances would not have been made.

If we accept what is - do we fully awaken? Or - maybe it is possible that we awaken when we accept what is - AND push boundaries as well...

If we didn't awaken and had just continued to accept what is - my yoga community would not have unraveled. But, if had not unraveled - it would not have led to subsequent growth or addressing what was flawed and not healthy within the system. Taking it further, if as a global community, we had not addressed flaws in our system, some totalitarian regimes would not have been toppled, and slavery as a way of life might still exist - or it may have taken longer to overcome.

If we accept what is in relationships - do we not try to overcome what is limiting then - or what we think is wrong? Do we tolerate abuse? When do we salvage or help it transcend - and when do we just let it go?

Of course, we must accept what we are - and who we are - and where we are - but if we do - are we defined by this? Limited by this? Who are we anyway?

Is there a fine line between accepting what is - and working to change the world and circumstances in our life? And how does one decide this? Is there a moment where one just tries - and then decides to let go? Or, what if one lets go too early???

Or, is everything in this world, just an illusion - or as Yogananda taught - like a movie - and all that matters is how we play our roles?

Okay... This is what came after my morning cup of coffee... (Yeah, I know you're going to ask what I was drinking...)

Off to get MORE coffee at Starbucks and read my three newspapers. Maybe the answer will be there!"

Let me just leave you with those ruminations... I have to say, sometimes while I try to connect or reconcile various teachings - they get tangled up in a knot for me.

I received incredible insights as a response - and would share them here. But instead, I choose to contemplate these further, and perhaps invite your own reflections instead...

In the last few days, I've read some interesting Facebook, blog, and newsletter posts by former colleagues, who are - like me - questioning everything they had been taught - and that they taught themselves as yoga teachers. It is so fascinating to see the different directions everyone is taking - whether or not I resonate with them personally.

This week, I had the opportunity to attend a meditation and talk given by Adyashanti, a spiritual teacher, who raised many questions for me, inviting deep inquiry and further reflection on my part. Perhaps this is where all this comes from...

Next time, I better meditate first...