Towards Greater Detachment

I wake up to a beautiful blanket of falling snow - big, fat, gum drops of flakes that take my breath away...

I look out with awe, from my perch on the couch, with warm coffee and a newspaper in hand, stealing glances every so often, hoping it will not go away just yet...

I don warm clothes and go for a long walk in the falling snow, on this day before the start of Lent, reflecting on what I shall focus on, and what attributes I wish to more deeply cultivate.

I reflect on deep conversations and walks with a soul companion which transpired last weekend, out in the Virginia country home where she resides - where the stillness and the dark of night are so incredibly pronounced, and the quiet is only interrupted by the conversations of neighboring horses, cows, and goats.

We cover so much ground and territory - holding nothing back - washing it down with copious libation, into the early hours of the morning...

I sleep under a skylight feeling that angels and sacred beings  are reaching down and touching me through this opening, doing their healing work while I toss between various levels of consciousness.

I tell my soul friend that I have been moving through layers and layers of detachment - slowly stripping away all that does not belong and that has held me back in some way or another, for what seems like an infinity.

I tell my dear friend that it is all about preparing to die, for in the latter half of our lives nothing else matters. We must let go of all attachments that we have - to outcomes, to relationships, to preconceived notions of what success and a life well lived looks like and whatever else others, or society has deemed worthy of attaining...

And so, I let go. I let go - again and again - and for the first time I truly sense I am getting somewhere and am beginning to embody the inherent freedom that lies in letting go. I could not have imagined being where I am ten years ago - or five - or even two - but here I am nonetheless - even though I also acknowledge that I have yet quite far to go...

I think of all these things as I continue walking - laden with the heaviness of very wet flakes cleansing my heart and soul in preparation for the beginning of a sacred season of 40 days of what I hope, will culminate in inner transformation.

With every step I leave behind the heaviness of the past - moving carefully and yet diligently towards a future that has not yet revealed its face but that is truly on its way.

Everything I have done and experienced has contributed to my becoming the person that I am right now, in this moment...

I think of wine and lives and hearts and tribulations shared in the darkest dark of night where it seems even time can stand still. It is a sacred time and holy encounter - of soul communion - bread broken and shared - the cup of wine offered for spiritual cleansing, and the witness of soul to soul confession with the reception of Divine absolution.

I am open to where this coming season of Lent will take me just as I am receptive to the advice and suggestions freely given to me between bites of dark chocolate and a good bottle of merlot. I am also reminded that gratitude is the key the opens the door to everything: To every gift under the sun. And so we recite our responsorial  prayer of "Thank You!" to every challenge we revisit.

I am grateful for all that is and was - and ever shall be in this incredible journey towards greater detachment.


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