Aligning with Grace

We are all travelers in time... This is the thought that comes to me at the river this morning, as I take time to do some brief meditations before returning home to teach... I do not have the river to myself this morning. Instead, a friendly group of more aged walkers smile, and wish me a good morning. They do not know that I am not a morning person and I do not like to talk that early! Still, I smile back, and and greet them. There is so much I am thinking about - it would take several entries and volumes of information to download here, so I will mention only a few brief points... My acupuncturist asked me on Monday, how I was doing with my goals of exercising greater compassion and aiming for more simplicity in my life. She did not know about all the recent events in my yoga community, and so I gave her a brief recap. I am no longer the co-chair of the curriculum committee - so all the work done there came to a grinding halt. For that reason, and a few others, I find myself with mo...

On this first day of the Vernal Equinox, I go down to the river in the morning, and stay for a while to do Lovingkindness meditations, and to recite the Reiki Precepts... I also recite a "mantra" of sorts that has arisen for me, these last few days: Let it be. Let it go. Let go of holding on. Hold on to letting go. Let go, and let God... In the midst of so much negativity, anger, brusque, and sarcastic behavior and comments I have been silently witnessing on three Facebook pages dedicated to the Anusara yoga situation, I decide to step back... I decide to step back in many ways, and journey more deeply within, because it shows me where I need to do my own inner work... There is a much bigger world out there, and I am overwhelmed by the many I know who are in need, and removed from this situation. This is not to belittle the reality of things or the experiences of people, but I just cannot give it my energy any more... It is a good time to assess where I am in life - what need...

On this eve of Maha Shivaratri , the Great Night of Siva, when it is said that prayers and mantras are magnified 10,000 times, I ask a few dear ones, to encircle their own with mine, for this is a time of great need in our yoga community, and in the much larger community of peoples on this planet... On this day, which stands on the threshold of the another season of Lent , always a time of prayer, introspection, and spiritual cleansing for me, I am mindful of the importance of setting strong intentions for the good, for healing, and for emanating as pure a vibration as possible for a community's transition... This is a time when everything is possible. It is a time of letting go of the old and embracing the new. It is not a time of resurrecting what no longer serves. It is the time to boldly go where no one has gone before... No one said that 2012 was going to be easy... I am in a wait and see mode. Yes, wait and see... Evolution takes time. Yesterday I read these words online, off...

It was cool and crisp and windy when I went down to the river this morning. Waves were lapping and foaming at the riverbanks, almost as if it were in its washing cycle. I felt both light AND full of light, even though the events and drama of Anusara yoga have consumed practically every waking moment of my life for the last couple of weeks. It is hard not be overwhelmed by the massive amount of pain, hurt, anger, confusion, and uncertainty floating around out there. You can literally drown in it. But still, I feel grounded. And strong. Like an oak tree. And I conveyed this to several who called or wrote concerned about how I was. It was too cold to stay by the river for very long, but I was struck by the the huge number of crows huddled about in various groups throughout the park. What was this? A convention? Since I have a tendency to read signs into everything, I came home to look up the meaning of crows and this is what I found: "Crows are the keepers of the Sacred Law and to ha...

Today it rains... But I tell myself that on some level it is is truly cleansing. I want to let go of so many feelings I have harbored of late - not all of them positive. Some of these have included harsh judgment. I have not always erred on the side of compassion these last couple of weeks, and I don't like that about myself. So, as I drive in the rain, honored to go take the seat of the teacher in my own teacher's seat - I resolve to forgive myself for my own failings - so that I can truly forgive others their own... And yet it feels today like the aftermath after the explosion of a bomb. An era has ended, and all that remains is devastation. I am reminded of a poignant scene in the movie "The Pianist," when Adrian Brody, the actor who played a Polish Jew, who was also a gifted concert pianist, steps into freedom after having spent months hidden in an apartment. But the city of Warsaw is in complete ruins and it practically took my breath away. Nothing but rubble for...

Today, I made a very difficult decision... I decided to step away from the Anusara yoga community that I have been a part of. It is painful but it feels right at this time. There are times you need to listen to your soul and your heart... And so today, on Valentine's Day, I choose to be true to mine... And why? Because I asked for a sign - and I received it. And, I am being true to what was given to me... There are many blogs and articles out there about why many teachers are leaving, or have done so. I am not going to go into any allegations. What I will say is, that I have gradually felt pulled to live a more interior life of prayer and meditation, and less asana. I am also spiritually reconnecting with my roots... That being said, I am grateful to John Friend and his teachings over the years for it changed my life and the lives of my students... I am most grateful for the community of souls that I am a part of - I would never have met them otherwise. Our hearts are still one... ...

Recently, I was captivated by a newsletter sent out by certified Anusara yoga teacher Abby Tucker , who referred to this wonderful Sanskrit word - "camatkara." Abby quoted the Tantrik scholar, Christopher Wallis , the author of the exquisite book, Tantra Illuminated: The Philosophy, History, and Practice of a Timeless Tradition , who defined this word as the highest state of consciousness "that is, wonder, or aesthetic rapture." Abby, in her newsletter describes this word as "the state of fully self-aware expansive wonder." As I worked with the Anusara Yoga Universal Principle of Alignment of both "Muscle Energy" and "Organic Energy" in my yoga class this morning - I considered how if we draw in, and wrap ourselves in wonder - that in time, wonder would wrap itself around us, enabling us to embody both of these principles. When we apply muscle energy to anything - we draw in and connect ourselves to that which matters and grounds us a...

"Love said to me, There is nothing that is not me. Be silent." ~ Rumi I read this quote a few days ago, and it was perfect in every way. It defined my weeks, and defined my days, so far this crucial year of 2012. And, it even showed up in my theme during my first week back to teaching yoga. Since the holiday season ended, I have had the wonderful and delicious opportunity to make a slow re-entry back into daily activity, and I am grateful for the many wonderful opportunities to slow down. To be still. To enjoy solitude. And to be silent... There have been cold days when I visited a wind-swept river or walked among barren trees in prayer. And even once, on that rare day, when snow flurries came down as well. There have been many moments of reflection. Punctuated by goal setting. Days of assessments made - with one day flowing seamlessly into the next. I began my first week of classes by working the First Principle of Anusara Yoga - "Opening to Grace," as I usually d...

It's been a while since I've made an entry. It's not because I haven't wanted to - but sometimes life and responsibilities get in the way, and sometimes our attention is called elsewhere... I've had family matters to attend to, losses to address, and so forth... This week, I have worked with backbends in my classes and have emphasized the engagement of "Kidney Loop." I chose to link these with a theme of "Ishvara Pranidhana, one of the niyamas from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras , which is often translated as "Devotion to the Lord." Nicolai Bachman , in his book, The Path of the Yoga Sutras , which I have been using as a primer for my themes this session, describes this niyama , or observance, as the cultivation of humiity and faith. Anusara Yoga emphasizes the importance of beginning our practice from the back body because it is there that we connect to the universal - to something bigger and greater than ourselves. "Kidney Loop" ...

What weighs you down? What keeps you in bondage when you most yearn for freedom - and just want to soar? Nicolai Bachman , in his book, The Path of the Yoga Sutras , defines "vairagya" as nonattachment to sensory objects. Every major religious or spiritual tradition teaches the concept of nonattachment in form or another. Bachman begins this section in his book with this quote from the Buddha : "The secret of happiness lies in the mind's release from worldy ties." Catchy verse. It rhymes. And it is so true! The practice of vairagya enables us to cultivate a sense of letting go - not only of material things and possessions, but also of all that does not serve us as well. In my classes, it seemed fitting to link this concept to the Anusara Yoga principle of "Organic Energy" because when one has truly embodied this notion of nonattachment and letting go, while still drawing in to that which binds us, grounds us, and keeps us honest - we are free to soar...

I just spent three whirlwind days in Montclair, NJ, where Emma Magenta and the Anusara kula there, graciously hosted John Friend , in the company of over 300 Anusara yoga teachers and practitioners. The energy there was simply amazing! I was so happy to connect with friends I hadn't seen in a year or longer, who had traveled from all corners of the world! And, I was just as happy to meet new friends as well. While there is so much that I could say, I would like to just list some of the things that John spoke about on the dharma of relationships that resonated with me in one way or another. Perhaps they will speak to you as well. I know I will be reviewing and reflecting on the material for some time to come... "What is our sadhana? It is our life... In Anusara, we are always in relationship to the Universal. Grace is the intrinsic power of spirit that enables us to shift, open, and reveal something that is already there. To the degree that you can align with the shakti, grace...

This morning, I told my students, that they cannot embody "Inner Spiral" without engaging "Outer Spiral." And conversely, they cannot truly embody "Outer Spiral" without engaging "Inner Spiral." You simply cannot have one without the other. There is always a dance that exists between the two. They are always in dynamic relationship to each other. And for those familiar with Anusara Yoga parlance, it can take a lifetime to embody both. Some will require more of one principle, while others will require more of the other. Sometimes the engagement required is dramatic. More often, it is quite subtle. For some of us, the engagement of both principles requires about the same amount of effort. Each of us, has certain tendencies. It is only through keen observation and discrimination that we become more fully aware of what our tendencies are in our various practices. It is through the cultivation of viveka - which is after all, a form of mindfulness, t...

Of all of Anusara Yoga's Universal Principles of Alignment , the hardest one for me to embody is "Inner Spiral." Of the seven loops, it is "Kidney Loop," and this seems to be the case with many other practitioners as well. We are all students seeking to embody these principles and unlock their hidden wisdom. But, it is not an easy journey. Because of spinal degeneration and other physical issues that I have, the integration of both of these principles of alignment are crucial for me - along with their close friends and partners - "Outer Spiral" and "Pelvic Loop." Just last week, I was chatting with a friend at a social gathering, and sharing with her the details of my summer surgery. She laughed and then said to me, "I can imagine your kundalini is really flowing these days. After all, you had a rock sitting on your snake!" Hummm.... That certainly gave me pause. No one had quite worded it that way! But, in a way, she was right! How...

What do you bind yourself to? What do you call upon - or draw upon in a moment of need? Today, one friend is grieving a loss, my nephew celebrates a birthday, someone I know buried her husband, and a dear friend's spouse may receive dire news in the form of a potentially deadly diagnosis. Some of these individuals, are persons of faith. Some of these, right now, are drawing in and connecting to Spirit. In my classes this week, I continued to draw up the wonderful book, The Path of the Yoga Sutras: A Practical Guide to the Core of Yoga by Nicolai Bachman. The third concept or principle he discusses, is "purusa " often commonly written as "purusha." While this word is often translated as spirit, Bachman describes it as the pure inner light of awareness. "Seated in our heart and pervading every cell of our body lies a conscious, intelligent awareness. Individual uniqueness is due to our temporary, ever-changing body, breath, and mind. These outer layers of ou...

Last week, I began my yoga classes with the first sutra from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras . Today, I began with a key word from the second sutra, or verse, which is commonly translated as something like: "Yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind." Or, as one of my favorites renditions by Alistair Shearer : "Yoga is the settling of the mind into silence." The word "citta" is often translated as "mind," though in his new book, The Path of the Yoga Sutras: A Practical Guide to the Core of Yoga , Nicolai Bachman , describes "citta" as "heart-mind field of consciousness," which I find absolutely delicious! So, today in my classes, I continued working with the First Universal Principle of Alignment in Anusara Yoga - which is "Opening to Grace." I chose to work with the aspects of "Inner body bright and side body long," and began my centering by having my dear Monday morning students, envision the su...

I began teaching yoga again this week, after two months of resting and recuperating after surgery. I decided to use as my theme, the first sutra in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras - "atha yoga nusasanam," or, "Now is the time for yoga." Every fall we say goodbye to the summer, and we greet the nascent season, by saying yes to our practice once again. When we begin anything - a project, a degree, a school, a job - there is an initial hesitancy, and fear - and enthusiasm - as we embrace what will be - but what is also, not yet... When we are ready, the universe conspires to assist us in undertaking whatever task or desire we have at hand... The new book, The Path of the Yoga Sutras: A Practical Guide to the Core of Yoga , by Nicolai Bachman , develops key concepts of the Yoga Sutras , in order to shed light on the these simple, pithy directives and assertions. The word "atha" - implies readiness and commitment on our part. The first chapter of this book begin...

We have just concluded a week of non-stop rains, remnants of a residual storm, arriving on the heels of an earthquake and hurricane. I've heard many exasperated people throw up their hands and ask, "What next, the plague?" While the rains were much needed in this area, it seemed somehow unfair we could not share our bounty with the poor folks in Texas. They have undergone record heat, and uncontrolled fires from extreme dry weather. I know it is much easier to be pessimistic, but I try to look for the good when I can. I thoroughly delighted in the rains, and walking in it, getting soaked to the bone. After so much dry weather, it was a welcome respite. I imagined myself in deep cleansing - making out with the old, and in with the new - following on the purging and cleansing just transpiring in my own house, and now mostly concluded. After giving my home a simple make over, that included some small decorating touches and new blinds and a new garage door, I immediately sens...

I drove over to the other side of my beloved river this glorious Sunday morning for a yoga class for the first time - not quite three and half weeks after surgery. I was going to observe a class taught by a wonderful Inspired Anusara Yoga teacher. I did not think I would actually do all of the class - perhaps just some poses here and there. It was a Level 1-2 class that ended up being perfectly sequenced for me, and consisted of very basic poses that we worked very deeply. After all, what is advanced yoga? Just the other day, I read this quote on Facebook by Lois Nesbitt , who was my own assessor and mentor in my certification as an Anusara Yoga teacher years ago, and who currently serves with me on the Anusara Yoga Curriculum Committee: "Advanced poses do not make an advanced yogi. You have to work this thing from the inside out. Otherwise, head for Cirque de Soleil." And this coming, from one of the most advanced practitioners that I know! So, we worked as advanced yogis...

Last weekend at this time, I was just concluding a workshop with Christina Sell on sequencing and using themes in the teaching of yoga. All week, I have been reflecting on some of her insights and the art of teaching in general. Christina, a gifted certified Anusara Yoga teacher, was witty and inspirational at the same time, and just what I needed, as I face surgery next month, and a subsequent hiatus from teaching during the summer. Every teacher finds him - or herself - fresh out of ideas, and perhaps needing to take a break at some point in time. And, in 14 years of teaching yoga, I have not taken a break of more than a couple of weeks, at the end of a session. So, while I focus on physical healing, I am hoping to also "reclaim" some inspiration, and come back "refreshed." I have been having difficulty coming up with themes lately. Ironically, this has always been the easiest part of lesson planning for me! In fact, just today, someone wrote me asking me about...

This morning, as I sat in meditation, on this day of a lunar eclipse, sandwiched in between two partial solar eclipses - the first occurring on June 1, and the next on July 1, I heard these words deep inside: "You are the love that you need. Shine it out, and then see that love reflected in others - in their eyes. Everything you need is inside. Anything else is limiting and unfulfilling..." I was surprised by this insight arising within, but then later on, I read a metaphysical interpretation of these three eclipses and the coming Summer Solstice , and found that they were about releasing and letting go, about healing and restructuring relationships, facing challenges, and taking decisive actions to move forward. And really, who doesn't find all of this relevant on some level? Later in the day, I spoke to a dear friend experiencing a great loss, and she shared with me the wisdom and tools one of her teachers had given her to deal with her situation. He too, reminded my fr...