Aligning with Grace

I finished reading three books this week, and in all of them I found this essential message repeated, over and over again, in various permutations:  Love yourself first, then you can love others. Appreciate who you are. Do not put yourself down. Do not sell yourself short. The poet Rumi once wrote: "The whole Universe is inside of you. Ask all from yourself." You have everything that you need. Right now. In this moment. A dear soul reminded me of that last night. No matter how bleak, or dark things may be - there is a Light that shines within you. Why? Because you ARE Love - you are a fragment of the Universal Force that binds us all. But, you have to recognize it. And accept it first. Then you can shine that Light and Love for others. But start with yourself. Today. Tomorrow. And every day! (Photo by Veronica Martinez)

I gather together with prayer companions during the middle of the week, and before we enter deeply into our meditation, I hear the lone cardinal that often visits during these times, trying to fly in through massive glass windows. He too, has been part of this circle of prayer warriors over the years, and he seems bent on trying to catch my attention. I bring troubling concerns to this meditation, and then, out of nowhere, I shift gears stepping into an alternate universe where insights and peace flow freely, as I begin to settle in... Poetic musings begin to flow effortlessly, enfolding me in a current of grace, as a gentle reminder, that indeed, all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well, as Julian of Norwich has insisted, since the 14th century... "'The whole universe, IS inside of you. Therefore, ask all from yourself.' So wrote the poet Rumi. Everything that you need Is already within you - Waiting there patiently. All the lo...

I have not come down to the river in weeks, perhaps months - this river I have loved and which has nourished my soul at every step, for the last seven years... I look on longingly as I watch two kayakers return from their morning sojourn, and then stop to banter with another kayaker ready to launch. What I would not give to set my soul free upon that river today! So many changes are occurring all around me - and many deaths as well. I guess if one lives long enough one bears witness to these kinds of things more and more frequently... I reflect on pending life changes, that are somewhat unexpected - and my Inner Wisdom counteracts limiting thoughts by singing instead this directive from the Psalmist: "Do not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day..." Other messages arrive, especially this one, from a beloved figure of the 14th century: "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." ...

I am drawn to go to the river on this windy, and beautiful fall morning... Several years ago, I began so many mornings like this, going down to the river, with my kayak in tow, which I had aptly named "Grace," and into the waters we would go, to pray, to meditate, and commune with nature... I am not able to do this at the moment, for I lack a vehicle in which I can haul my kayak, and so today, I simply sit on a bench, looking out at the broad expanse of the river in front of me, and begin to do Metta practice for many in need. I give thanks and express gratitude for so many things in my life, chanting the Reiki precepts slowly, and with great care, mindfulness, and devotion, as if lost in a reverie not of this world... As I lose myself deeply in these spiritual practices, I feel buoyed by the Divine Presence surrounding me - and tossed about like a leaf in the wind and grace of God's love... I dance joyfully, following its gentle lead and rhythm... I marvel at t...

Nearly halfway through this Lenten season, I am reminded that it has been a journey of the heart, every step of the way - a journey of breaking the heart wide open! Every single day, I come across a reading, or  a quote that speaks of the primacy of the heart in all things... ... Psalms that proclaim the cleansing and creation of new hearts, or readings by a desert Christian monk speaking of the necessary circumcision of hearts, or other passages extolling the opening - or healing of hearts, the rending and mending of hearts, and the tilling of the fertile soil within hearts, culminating in the eventual reconciliation of the heart. Just this morning I read this passage: "If you open your heart, love opens your mind." ~ Charles John Quarto If your heart opens - it heals, it transforms and transmutes all things, as difficult as this seemingly unending journey can at times be ... "O that today you would listen to God's voice! Harden not your heart...

Everything can be a blessing, if you have the eyes to see - and the ears to hear... Everything can be a blessing - even life's greatest challenges, come bearing blessings... In meditation, and deepest prayer, I review the many blessings of my week... I begin the week by giving two dear ones, a blessing... That night, I attentively listen to a talk during a retreat, with the theme of blessing... In this talk one priest shares his ministry to a Hispanic community that blesses him every day. He is blessed, to be "blessed" so often! And I remember being blessed by my grandmother and mother on so many occasions... Yes, life - and every experience within it is a blessing. A blessing is hidden everywhere... At this retreat, we bless each other. My favorite priest blesses me in a beautiful way, and then I hold a bowl of water while strangers bless each other - with many of them deciding to impart an extra blessing on me. I, am visibly moved. I began my day by impartin...

Sometimes, insights and answers come from unexpected places. They will come to us if we quiet the voices within that often drown out the stillness so that we can truly listen and take heed... Welcome insights and answers can come to us in messages we receive from friends - in an email, or a call, or a Facebook post, or simply through our observation and appreciation of the wild life all around us - or the beauty in flowers and vegetation. For the last several weeks on my walks, I have been invariably visited by exuberant robins manifesting out of heavy canopies of draping branches that then proceed to "walk"  on the path, right in front of me. They gayly hop a few steps forward, then slyly wait for me to catch up to them. I follow at a safe distance, until they decide to start hopping again. Sometimes we play out this little ritual for few minutes. So finally today, I decided to look up the meaning of robins on my favorite animal totem site: "A Robin totem will s...

Just a few days ago, I read this excerpt in Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers by Anne Lamott, and I've re-read it several times: "We try to do our best, and then a whole snowy hillside buries a thousand people. Life is eruptions, spasms, just as in our families. If you keep your heart open, these traumas beat you down. But against all odds, something emerges from the wreckage in our hearts, so we can bear witness... Love falls to earth, rises from the ground, pools around the afflicted. Love pulls people back to their feet. Bodies and souls are fed. Bones and lives heal. New blades of grass grow from charred soil. The sun rises." If we keep our hearts open, we will be hurt. But, if we keep them closed, we never truly live or experience the joy of loving... I remember thinking in my mid 40's, that I had done a pretty good job avoiding severe pain in my life. Up until then, I thought I had lived a pretty easy and charmed existence. Not that I had ne...

The Buddhists teach that the only constant in life is change... But I don't do well with change... In fact, if truth be told, I hate change. I love stability. And that, in itself, is an illusion. There is no such thing as stability... Nothing remains the same... There is no "happily ever after." As a child, I moved around a lot. Which meant enrolling in different schools often in mid-year, trying to make new friends, then just about getting settled, only to have to pick up and move once again. Though it had it's opportunities, it also had its challenges... I did not want that for my son, so I tried to give him what I did not have - the opportunity to go to one school from kindergarten to eighth grade, to spend all four years in one high school - and not have to move half-way as I did - and to be able to attend the same university for all four years. He went to wonderful schools and his best friend from kindergarten is still his best friend today. In fact, his friends ...

I open the blinds and the dense fog takes my breath away. I know that it means only one thing. I MUST go down to the river! Such moments are few and far between, and I am reminded of paddling in the river on Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah, back in the fall of 2008... I cannot see to the other side of the river - it all grey - the sky and water blending as one. A fisherman launches off and soon disappears behind the veil... I don't know what it is about fog at the river that draws me and speaks to me. There is something so mysterious about it. I wish I could step into the river, but I have arranged to meet a friend for breakfast on this morning... I watch one lone goose, without it's friends, gently glide downstream for a bit... I do Lovingkindness meditations and prayers, and reflect on a series of insights and writings I have come across recently, like these: "Your prayers for someone may or may not change them, but it always changes you." ~ Craig Groeschel "Remin...

Buddhists teach, that the only constant is change... Gandhi once extolled, that we must be the change we want to see in the world... The season of Lent invites us to do inner work and reflection and make changes within and ultimately without... It seems that everything that comes into my inbox lately addresses this theme of change - Lenten reflections, Facebook posts, emails... I receive a picture of a beautiful bird, an eagle perhaps, with a huge wingspan accompanied by the caption: "Change your mind. Change the world..." A Lenten reflection I subscribe to, posed this question yesterday: "What would make you drop everything and change directions?" It is never too late for change... Rumi reminds us that, "You transform all who are touched by you..." Truly, the only constant is change... And today, from my Lenten reflections, "Journey to the Cross," I receive the following insights... "We are creating the future today. It is hard to imagine w...

I cannot sleep. And so at dawn I rise and go down to the river... The tumultuous past weeks, in my Anusara yoga community, have taken its toll on so many. I can almost hear the voices of despair, sadness, and anger, and once more I recite the Reiki Precepts, reminding myself to not worry, not to be angry - and to be compassionate for everyone... But in my heart of hearts, here down by this river, I also acknowledge, truly, for the first time, that there is such a diversity of opinions in this torn community, represented by three Facebook pages, that the community that once existed, can never again come together in any sort of configuration. There are too many perspectives that cannot be reconciled. I am saddened by this. But, it is also a call to step into our power, and more fully acknowledge our connection to the Divine... Just as I am about to leave and come home, I spot a magnificent and noble swan on the other side of the river. I have never seen one here... I have a painting ove...

"Out there beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field, I will meet you there." ~ Rumi On this day of Ash Wednesday, and the beginning of Lent, I take time to go church, get my ashes and reflect on my own wrongdoing, and ask for forgiveness for so many things. The readings and the homily for some reason, touch me very deeply, perhaps in light of all the recent events in my Anusara yoga community. Yesterday, my entry reflected my initial preparation as I enter this season... It pains me to see so much separation in my community, but I am also heartened to see the flames of unity sparking in the broad expanse of so much divisiveness... I told my students this morning, that this season is about Hope, because it coincides with spring, and Easter - which is symbolic of Resurrection. And spring, never fails to come - no matter what... And I realize, there cannot be any rising without dying... We cannot give birth to something new, without letting go of the old... Thi...

"Love said to me, There is nothing that is not me. Be silent." ~ Rumi I read this quote a few days ago, and it was perfect in every way. It defined my weeks, and defined my days, so far this crucial year of 2012. And, it even showed up in my theme during my first week back to teaching yoga. Since the holiday season ended, I have had the wonderful and delicious opportunity to make a slow re-entry back into daily activity, and I am grateful for the many wonderful opportunities to slow down. To be still. To enjoy solitude. And to be silent... There have been cold days when I visited a wind-swept river or walked among barren trees in prayer. And even once, on that rare day, when snow flurries came down as well. There have been many moments of reflection. Punctuated by goal setting. Days of assessments made - with one day flowing seamlessly into the next. I began my first week of classes by working the First Principle of Anusara Yoga - "Opening to Grace," as I usually d...

What do you bind yourself to? What do you call upon - or draw upon in a moment of need? Today, one friend is grieving a loss, my nephew celebrates a birthday, someone I know buried her husband, and a dear friend's spouse may receive dire news in the form of a potentially deadly diagnosis. Some of these individuals, are persons of faith. Some of these, right now, are drawing in and connecting to Spirit. In my classes this week, I continued to draw up the wonderful book, The Path of the Yoga Sutras: A Practical Guide to the Core of Yoga by Nicolai Bachman. The third concept or principle he discusses, is "purusa " often commonly written as "purusha." While this word is often translated as spirit, Bachman describes it as the pure inner light of awareness. "Seated in our heart and pervading every cell of our body lies a conscious, intelligent awareness. Individual uniqueness is due to our temporary, ever-changing body, breath, and mind. These outer layers of ou...

The days ebb and flow, like the tide, slowly, and gently... Life has truly slowed down to the crawl of each present moment and there is no place and no time where God is not... I enjoy my days, filled with so much freedom, and devoid of commitments... Rumi's wisdom, comes to me from across the ages, speaking to my heart, acknowledging that the current rhythm of my life is healing and what is needed. I enjoy each breath, and a new lease on life, and taste freedom in each breath, and in each moment spent in the company of friends, loved ones, and whomever the Spirit sends: "The motion of the body, the inhaling and exhaling, comes from the spirit... When you are not with close friends, you are not in the Presence... Be a pilgrim to the kaaba inside, and Mecca will rise into view on its own..." These words come to me in the early morning, and I carry them in my heart, as my husband and I go to explore Euro Cafe, with our various Sunday papers....

Life is filled with ordinary moments which we notice, when we allow life to slow down to a crawl. Life these days is filled with long walks, reading several newspapers from cover to cover - yes - the old fashioned way - in print of all things - and time is also spent losing myself in novels, and enjoying fine wines and home cooked meals. Life is filled with interacting with friends and loved ones, either online or through visits, or phone calls, or other ways. Sunday, I met dear friends at a concert. That was the most dramatic thing I'd done since surgery. I went to hear Mindy Smith , whose music my friends and I had been following for several years. Today I came across this quote from Rumi, which seemed so appropriate for this time in my life right now: "Observe the wonders as they occur around you. Do not claim them. Feel the artistry moving through, and be silent." Each day, is an opportunity to observe the wonders that occur around you, through you and others - in th...

This morning, as I sat in meditation, on this day of a lunar eclipse, sandwiched in between two partial solar eclipses - the first occurring on June 1, and the next on July 1, I heard these words deep inside: "You are the love that you need. Shine it out, and then see that love reflected in others - in their eyes. Everything you need is inside. Anything else is limiting and unfulfilling..." I was surprised by this insight arising within, but then later on, I read a metaphysical interpretation of these three eclipses and the coming Summer Solstice , and found that they were about releasing and letting go, about healing and restructuring relationships, facing challenges, and taking decisive actions to move forward. And really, who doesn't find all of this relevant on some level? Later in the day, I spoke to a dear friend experiencing a great loss, and she shared with me the wisdom and tools one of her teachers had given her to deal with her situation. He too, reminded my fr...