Aligning with Grace

What does it mean to live our yoga? The word yoga means union - of body, mind, and spirit. And perhaps no one lives her yoga - that is - walks the walk and the talk - as much as Desiree Rumbaugh . I've had the pleasure to study with Desiree every year since since 1999. And every year, I come away with an insight that enriches my practice, but most importantly my life - for the rest of the year and beyond that. Last night, Desiree began our practice by sharing her insights on The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz . She came upon the book during a particularly trying time in her life, and decided she would work on them. While we sat in a circle, Desiree reminded us that yoga is more than what we do on the mat. It is ultimately, a way of life. Our yoga must be evident in the way we talk - and how we treat others - even in how and what we write. In a world of emails and instant communication, this gave me pause for thought, most especially again...

The Buddhists teach that the only constant in life is change... But I don't do well with change... In fact, if truth be told, I hate change. I love stability. And that, in itself, is an illusion. There is no such thing as stability... Nothing remains the same... There is no "happily ever after." As a child, I moved around a lot. Which meant enrolling in different schools often in mid-year, trying to make new friends, then just about getting settled, only to have to pick up and move once again. Though it had it's opportunities, it also had its challenges... I did not want that for my son, so I tried to give him what I did not have - the opportunity to go to one school from kindergarten to eighth grade, to spend all four years in one high school - and not have to move half-way as I did - and to be able to attend the same university for all four years. He went to wonderful schools and his best friend from kindergarten is still his best friend today. In fact, his friends ...

I dance with malas... Whether I want to or not... I do not mean that I am dancing with bracelets, but instead, I am dancing in and out of illusions... As I sail the ship of my life and navigate turbulent waters unknown to me, I take a moment to reflect on Michelle Berman Marchildon's description of the malas in her book, Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser, and Stronger Through Yoga ... And I wonder, can I do the same? Can I grow stronger and wiser, when some days I feel as if the bottom fell out of my life? Nothing seems the same... And I recall this insight from a Course in Miracles : "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists." What is real? The malas are veils which cloak what is real, hiding the truth from us, and there are three of them... Anava Mala seeds feelings of unworthiness and not being good enough within us which can lead to both sadness and eventual depression. Mayiya Mala culminates in feelings of isolation and separation... Karm...

I have been quiet on these pages. But, not absent... I have been immersing myself in life fully. Deeply. Reconnecting with spiritual roots... Several years ago, as my son prepared to go off to college, my life became much more simplified. This coincided with my walking away from an academic career. In succeeding years - he moved out and went to work. Now, he will return, after eight years, for a spell, and I prepare for that. During these years, much has happened. Since this year began, life has changed - maybe not radically - but it certainly seems to be so. There are changes everywhere to be noted - on both physical and spiritual planes... When the docket of my life substantially cleared itself of many responsibilities, just a few years ago, I began to refer to myself as a "Forest Dweller." Now, it seems I am on my way towards becoming a "sannyasin" - or what I choose to define as a deeper mystic. Let me explain... In Hinduism, there are 4 stages to a person'...

What is your way? Which way do you walk? What path do you follow? I receive this in my inbox, and it seems so appropriate. I reflect on its deeper meaning for me: "I walked this way, I walked that way, and then I walked MY WAY." We have begun a new month, and I continue to receive messages from everywhere, and everything. I will share more about this in my next entry... On the first day of this month, I lost the last of my great aunts, and the youngest of my beloved grandmother's sisters. She truly walked her way. She lived life on her own terms. And her way, like my grandmother's, was the way of love... She touched lives near and far that cut across all levels of class or racial distinctions. She was beloved by many, and my own memories of her are very fond... In fact, her grandchildren and great grandchildren, simply referred to her as "Love." Not "Nonna," not "Grandma," but "Love." Quite a testament to any living soul! And to...