Arms of Love

I arise and step into a day of silence, for Tuesdays is often a hallowed gift to myself - a day that I allow to unfold in whatever way the Spirit moves and prompts...

But today, I am filled with thoughts, and love, and prayers, for a friend who is transitioning, and I turn to read, as I have every morning now for weeks and months, the daily entry describing the details of her previous day...

Today, all of us - near and far - who are following this journey, are praying, and standing vigil, knowing that the end is finally very near...

I read today's posting, and find it heart-breaking, and though I am not physically present at her bedside, my heart is very much there. I find myself revisiting memories of happier days, as we began marriages, over 30 years ago, and had children, who have long since grown into adulthood...

I visit the river which is quite and cold. A crest of waves literally frozen in place fascinates me, as a squirrel scampers about. I tell him to be careful, lest he crack the ice and endanger himself...

I go for a long walk, thinking of my friend - and of the meaning of life - trying to imagine what it must be like for her to be suspended between two worlds and the love that tugs at her in both places. I marvel at how so many have been touched by her story and are being cleansed, purified, and transformed by her process, and I wonder if I could ever impact others in this same incredible way...

So many questions arise in my heart and float inside my head in desperate search of answers. I find solace in songs and lyrics by Amy Grant, and imagine my friend, and indeed all of us, surrounded in the loving arms of God...

"Lord, I'm really glad You're here
I hope you feel the same when You see all my fear,
And how I fail,
I fall sometimes
It's hard to walk on shifting sand.
I miss the rock, and find there's nowhere left to stand;
I start to cry.
Lord, please help me raise my hands so You can pick me up.
Hold me close. Hold me tighter.

I have found a place where I can hide.
It's safe inside Your arms of love.
Like a child who's helped throughout a storm,
You keep me warm in Your arms of love.

Storms will come and storms will go.
Wonder just how many storms it takes until
I finally know You're always here.
Even when my skies are far from gray,
I can stay; teach me to stay there..."
~ "Arms of Love"

I know my friend is there - in those arms of love. And I know her family is there as well, indeed, as we all are...I think of someone who wrote me today that I have not met, who thanked me for my writings, and who acknowledged that the world is filled with so much more love than she could ever have imagined, and I also know that this is true...

I walk and walk, in the biting cold, feeling alone, but knowing that I am not, surrounded by angels and spirits and love, in realms seen and unseen, knowing that my friend, and many like her, are now journeying to the other side, arriving before the rest of us - privy to experiences that will soon be ours and mine as well, when we all come face to face, with God's Presence, in the next life, and I sing to myself, the song "Imagine" by Amy Grant:

"I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When Your face is looking at me.

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus, or in awe of You be still?
Imagine, I can only imagine...

I can only imagine all creation bowed down
The whole universe saying Your name out loud
I can only imagine all our broken lives
Resurrected in the healing light...

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus, or in awe of You be still?
Will stand in Your Presence or to my knees will fall?
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine, I can only imagine..."
~ "Imagine"

I can only imagine...And yes, of course this leads to more questions, but somehow, on some level, I intuit the needed answers...