I Dreamed a Dream

I awaken in the rain, and allow myself to be lulled back to sleep. But later, after morning meditations, while it is still somewhere between a light rain and a drizzle outside, I go to survey the river. I have not been to visit in a while...

The trees have not yet unfurled their leaves, but I know it is a matter of time before this broad and naked expanse will no longer be visible. It will cloak itself with exquisite raiment until next winter, like Siva - concealing and revealing himself, in an endless Tantric dance...

I am lost in thoughts and emotions, and moved by a woman who touched the world with her rendition of Fantine's "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables.

I find both the lyrics and the tune, and fall asleep to them, my heart echoing its melody and message, as I stand by the riverbanks and reflect on the wisdom dispensed yesterday, by a very wise soul.

I look longingly at the river, knowing it has been a long time since we joined together, becoming one - as my soul in turn, longs to be joined with another soul, now more distant in my life. People come and people go - through the revolving doors of our lives. I think of a passage I read last night by Paramahansa Yogananda, who acknowledged that we would never again be in this body, with these characteristics, and in these very same relationships.

I am washed by the gentle rain, here, perched on the edge of a cliff, at the foot of this river, as I dare to dream the dreams I was told I had not allowed myself to bring to fruition, for many lifetimes lived as a mystic and a contemplative had eroded an ability to invite abundance in. Perhaps it is no accident I am led to view this YouTube video clip about a middle aged woman, not unlike me, awakening to her own dream...

I Dreamed a Dream

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

(But I would revise this last line in the manner
I heard it last night:
"No Life has killed the dream I dreamed...")

I think of living my own dreams, and all that it implies - the fears of failing, of beginning once more, though from a different vantage point, yet at the same time, enriched by more recent experiences. Every experience and moment lived, has been in preparation for the next step and event in our lives, and I feel that in many ways, I have truly lived lifetimes within one solitary life span...

And I thank Susan Boyle, who touched millions, and hope that her dream comes true! She has touched so many around the world, reminding us - as I titled my post yesterday - we are truly all one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

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