May The Lord of Day Grant Us Peace

We arrive at the end of a month full of special graces. I marvel at the blessings bestowed, the connections made, the gifts of the soul received, and the clarity of heart and perspective granted. I am filled with the Presence of the Divine, and a Love that lasts forever...

I wish to usher in the new month arriving, and heralding the coming of spring and the regeneration and newness of life, with a blessing from an ancient text, the Taittiriya Upanishad:

"May the Lord of day grant us peace.
May the Lord of night grant us peace.
May the Lord of sight grant us peace.
May the Lord of speech grant us peace.
May the Lord of space grant us peace.
I bow down to the Divine, source of all power.
I will speak the truth and follow the law...

May the light of wisdom illumine us.
May we become united with the Lord..."

A Good Teacher is a Good Student

Every year, Anusara Yoga certified teachers renew their certification by having a colleague take their class. It is a wonderful way of affirming what is good in one another's teaching, and a wonderful way to give and receive support. It is also a way to improve our teaching skills.

Yesterday, I had the honor to do this process for my own teacher, who is truly a master of her craft, and who has taught legions of yoga students for decades. But besides being a Master Teacher, Suzie Hurley, the owner of Willow Street Yoga Center, where I have taken my own yoga classes for several years, is the consummate student, and this to me, is the sign of a good teacher. She and I sat side by side in my previous teacher's class for a long time. And, I have been with her as she has taken many workshops, including some as a "beginner," even when some of her own teachers were apprenticing that particular workshop.

A teacher must always be willing to take classes with a beginner's mind. This denotes humility - which is such an important characteristic for a teacher to have.

Yesterday, as I waited for class to begin, I heard another teacher discuss with her student how much she enjoys taking beginner level classes, because it enriches her understanding of the practice. I nodded, agreeing. I often feel I receive so much insight when I take classes that are the same level as my students. I gain a fresh perspective into their own possible experiences.

A true teacher knows that her - or his learning never ends. As we playfully went through a creative flow of poses, I found myself smiling - not only because the class was fun and light-hearted, but because I was so lucky to study in the midst of so many wonderful teachers who are all consummate students!

In two weeks, I will have the opportunity to be on the receiving end of this process, and I look forward to having a master give me feedback!

Feathers on the Breath of God

I go to the river, not once, but twice today...

I go to the river, because I am one with it, and I miss it...The river is my breath...It animates my soul...

I go to the river before crossing it further downstream to go to my yoga class, which is both joyous and playful. I will leave it exhilarated...

The river is still, and a flock of white birds seem as though they are meditating on the water - some of them glide here and there effortlessly and gracefully, in slow motion. There are so many of them - as I have never seen before - and most are floating on the water perfectly still - like monks - they populate this river - as far as the eyes can see all the way upstream...

I come back to the river in the late afternoon, and launch Grace. The river is still inhabited by these silent birds that soon fly away as I, and a couple of other kayakers invade their solitude...

For only the second time this year, I am in the river, and physically and organically, one with it...

I paddle upstream - exhilarated - and realize that in many ways, I have paddled my way out of depression this year, in these healing waters, baptized over and over again, with every spray of water that my paddle occasionally sends my way...

I have paddled my way out of deep emptiness, with the support of a very few friends who remained steadfast throughout all of my darkness - but I have also engaged in deep inner work, with the guidance of a gifted therapist and many healers as well...

But even in the midst of that emptiness - I experienced incredible abundance as I was gently reminded this afternoon and yesterday...

As I paddle, reflecting on the shifts I have experienced in the last month or so, I catch the sight of beautiful white feathers all strewn about, released by the meditating birds...

I decide I want one, and nearly knock myself over trying to retrieve them. Finally, I give up trying too hard, and catch three...

I think of Hildegard of Bingen, who first used this description of being - "a feather on the breath of God..."

These feathers were truly carried by the breath of God in the form of this river - and deposited on the surface of the water - where they simply float - delighting in their lightness of being...

I carefully place the feathers in my pocket, in the waning sun, and paddle back, delighting in my own emerging, lightness of being...

"Let the waters settle
You will see stars and moon
mirrored in your Being."
- Rumi

Maha Shivratri and Ash Wedesday

This is a week that has seen special days for both Hindus and Christians...

Monday, Hindus celebrated Maha Shivratri - or the "Night of Shiva." A poison came out of the ocean which could have destroyed all of creation. The other gods prayed to Shiva to protect their lives by consuming this poison. Pleased with their prayers, and out of compassion for living beings, Lord Shiva drank the poison but it was so intense that something was required to cool its effects as his throat became blue.

Today, Christians celebrate Ash Wednesday, ushering in the liturgical season of Lent, which mindfully and prayerfully commemorates the passion, the death, and the ultimate resurrection of Jesus.

Both of these days are evocative of salvation on some level for the spiritual adherents of these two traditions.

I recently read the book, Our Lady of Kibeho, about a series of Marian apparitions that occurred in Rwanda about a decade before the ethnic genocide took place there. I was so surprised I had never heard of these apparitions. The author of the book, Immaculee Ilibagiza, survived the mass killing of her compatriots by hiding in a priest's bathroom along with several other women. Her whole family, except for one brother was slaughtered. Yet, she managed to forgive those who killed her family, neighbors she had known all of her life.

The young visionaries share that Mary asked them to pray a special rosary reflecting on the Seven Sorrows of Mary. This rosary was commonly recited during the Middle Ages, but had fallen out of favor and simply been forgotten. I searched for one on the internet since I did not have one.

I have always been drawn to rosaries and mala beads, and the repetition of prayers - and have a wonderful collection of both, but I did not have one of these...

Last night, after my meditation, I lay in bed with both my malas and new rosary, and prayed in two traditions, feeling equally comfortable in both. All of my life I have been drawn by rituals, and prayers from all of the world's religions. As I often like to say, I'm sure I have all my bases covered!

One Step and One Breath at a Time

I take a moment, to literally drive by the river, on my way to breakfast. There are deer everywhere, and the river currents are strong. I don't have time to stay for a visit, but I needed to somehow connect to the river, at least visually, if not organically. Someday soon, Grace and I will launch into its healing waters again.

I drive home, after meeting a dear friend and companion on the spiritual journey - a brother - whom I have not seen in a while...We have a heart to heart over brunch, and review where we have been in the last several months. We are connected deeply and it is always a joy to be in each other's energies...

As I drive home after brunch on this beautiful sunlit day, I listen to a song by Bliss, that seems to capture perfectly what I feel and where I have been:

"A mind so haunted is bathed in such bliss
I'd trade the world for a moment of this...

The veil is lifted, illusion has died
The voice of the angel is calling tonight
I see the dawn..."

Thoughts come and go of the book I began last night, Learning to Breathe: One Woman's Journey of Spirit and Survival, which is really a story about how we can survive incredible adversity. I think of the author of this book, Alison Wright, crushed by a truck, in an incredible accident in Nepal, her organs ripped and re-arranged within her, whose meditation practice enabled her to survive, so that years later she is able to go and express her gratitude in a pilgrimage she makes to Mount Kailash...

This feat is incredible for anyone to undertake - let alone someone who struggles to come back from insurmountable injuries. As Wright climbs the snowy Dolma pass at 18,700 feet, under harrowing circumstances, she simply repeats this mantra to herself:

"One step at a time, one breath at a time..."

That is all that is ever required of us - to take one step and one breath at a time... And I realize, in many ways, this is what I have been doing...

I tell my friend that I have sat in meditation now, every day for four years - and twice a day for nearly three, even though I meditated on and on for half of my life... I made this commitment to sit at least twice a day for life - taking one step and one breath at a time - and it is taking me where I need to go...

I am only beginning to experience the fruits of this practice...

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away."
- Boyd Palmer

"For a long time it had seemed to me
that life was about to begin...
But there was always some obstacle in the way,
something to be gotten through first,
some unfinished business,
time still to be served, a debt to be paid.
Then life would begin.
At last it dawned on me
that these obstacles were my life."
- Alfred D. Souza

"When we walk to the edge of all light we have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown
we must believe one of two things will happen--
There will be something solid for us to stand on
Or, we will be taught how to fly."

- Patrick Overton

Emptiness and Fullness

This morning, I connected my theme of "emptiness and fullness" with engaging kidney loop - as we worked through a flow of twisting poses.

I remarked to my students, how so often we must come to a place of emptiness - before we can experience being full. We must let go of what does not serve - to invite in what will nourish us more deeply...

Twists have an amazing effect on the body - releasing toxins and promoting a better flow of nutrients in the body. They have a very cleansing affect. But to maximize the healing effect of twists, we must create space and extension in the body first. Kidney loop, one of the seven energy loops of Anusara Yoga, brings our awareness to our back bodies, where we initiate the action of the pose. Activation of this loop creates the necessary fullness in the back body. But we must first empty, and surrender - from a place of humility...

I thought about my theme and sequencing yesterday afternoon as I browsed at Border's looking for two books I did not find. On the other hand, I did stumble upon a book of daily reflections extracted from the journals of Thomas Merton, one of my favorite spiritual writers from the 20th century, and I almost immediately opened to this passage:

"I am the utter poverty of God. I am His emptiness, littleness, nothingness, lostness. When this is understood, my life in His freedom, the self-emptying of God in me, is the fullness of grace. A love for God that knows no reason because He is the fullness of grace. A love for God that knows no reason because he is God; a love without measure, a love for God as personal. The Ishvara appears as personal in order to inspire this love. Love for all, hatred of none, is the fruit and manifestation of love for God - peace and satisfaction..."

I loved this line, and read it to myself over and over again:

"The self-emptying of God in me, is the fullness of Grace."

I bought this book for this one passage - and this one line - for it exemplified what I want to convey about emptiness - and fullness. Emptiness conjured up kenosis - a theological term that refers to the self-emptying that Jesus experienced on the cross, discussed in Phillippians 2: 6-8 - and it is the bookend experience to the fullness that is provided by grace.

I wanted my students to know - that every experience of emptying - opens the door to fullness and ultimately to grace. The practice itself is a playground for the interplay between emptying and filling...Some times we need to go for a long time emptying before we are ready to drink in the sweet nectar of fullness...

I taught to a packed class of wonderful women, including a former friend and student who now lives in Vermont and was visiting. It was a joy to see her, for we had been spiritual companions on our own respective journeys, 4 years ago. After class we enjoyed tea and coffee in my house and shared deeply very difficult experiences we had navigated in the last couple of years. When we parted, my friend thanked me for being a blessing in her life. As I hugged her, I thanked her back - for we had both - in different ways - filled one another's soul during a time of great self-emptying...

I picked up one last book at Border's - another book of daily reflections written by Thomas Keating, the Trappist monk who has taught Centering Prayer for decades. Again, I open the book at random - on the birthday of a child I love very deeply and at the end of the entry, I found this excerpt from Ephesians 3:19:

"May you be filled with the fullness of the Divine."

And that, is how I ended my class...

The Shack and Taking Chance

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to offer a retreat to teachers with several other gifted healers, in a new healing center envisioned by one of my friends. I taught a yoga class and then offered Reiki sessions continually in 20 minute segments, for a couple of hours. It was a wonderful experience, and I found myself going into a deep, meditative state...

In the afternoon, I lay in bed and finished reading The Shack - a book that had been recommended to me, by a couple of students. It took me a little bit to get into it, but the last third of the book was truly rewarding and moving. As a former theologian, I was very interested in many of the discussions in this book...

The book is about a man whose young daughter is murdered, and his return to the site where it occurred, to meet with God. His encounter leaves him totally transformed.

This book is really about changing one's perception of God, and the importance of experiencing healing and expressing forgiveness on many different levels, and it has become almost a cult book of sorts. Interest in the book has been spread primarily by word of mouth.

I also watched the HBO movie "Taking Chance," last night, about a colonel who volunteers for escort duty for the remains of a young Marine. It is based on a true story and it documents the amazing moments this colonel experiences as he executes his duty with incredible reverence and respect. Along the journey, PFC Chance Phelps, the fallen Marine, manages to deeply touch the lives of many.

I found both this book - and this movie both to be profoundly moving. Each brought out something different in me. Chance Phelps was only 20 when he died in the line of duty in Iraq - born mere months before my own son - thus bringing his story so much closer to home.

I also have a cousin - a single parent - whose only child - a son, now also a Marine - is being deployed to Afghanistan next month. He is 22 - and I could only think of him and his mother as I watched this movie. I can't even begin to entertain what it feels to be her right now - for it is truly unimaginable and unspeakable to me...

I wish to end with a few quotes from the last chapters in the book The Shack:

"You can kiss your family and friends good-bye
and put miles between you,
but at some time you carry them
with you in your heart,
your mind, your stomach,
because you do not just live in a world
but a world lives in you."
- Fredrick Buechner

"An infinite God can give all of Himself
to each of His children.
He does not distribute Himself
that each may have a part,
but to each one He gives all of Himself
as fully as if there were no others."
- A. W. Tozer

"Earth has no sorrow that
Heaven cannot heal."
- Author Unknown

"Faith never knows where it is being led,
But it knows and loves the One who is leading."
- Oswald Chambers

God to Mack, the protagonist in the book:

"Mack, if anything matters
then everything matters.
Because you are important,
everything you do is important.
Every time you forgive,
the universe changes;
every time you reach out
and touch a heart or a life,
the world changes;
with every kindness and service,
seen or unseen,
my purposes are accomplished
and nothing will ever be the same again."

And finally this one, which I've read before:

"Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God,
But only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries."
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Divine Love IV

Today, the series of beautiful readings on Divine Love in Paramahansa Yogananda's Spiritual Diary ends. Tomorrow, we move on to the subject of humility, which is a fitting successor to these...

"If in the darkness, the mind never wavers,
if love and longing never grow weak,
it is then that you prove to yourself
that you really have the love of God."

"God's love is so embracing
that no matter what wrongs we have done,
He forgives us.
If we love Him with all our hearts
He wipes out our karma."

"God understands you
when everyone else misunderstands you.
He is the lover who cherishes you always,
no matter what your mistakes.
others give you their affection for a while
and then forsake you,
but He abandons you never.
In countless ways
God is daily seeking your love..."

"The love of God cannot be described.
But it can be felt as the heart is purified
and made constant.
As the mind and the feeling
are directed inward,
you begin to feel His joy.
The pleasures of the senses
do not last;
but the joy of God is everlasting.
It is incomparable!"

I am Empty, I am Full

Today, as I ran around wrapping up errands and routine appointments, I thought to myself - "I feel full." I also reflected on how I had encouraged my students this week to soften as they opened to grace - but from a place of fullness. I wanted them to feel heavy with this sense of fullness.

Later, as I organized and attended to a myriad of tasks as I sat at my desk, I came across this newsletter by Amy Weintraub, the creator of LifeForce Yoga. Amy's newsletter is called: LifeForce Yoga for Depression News, and I am providing an excerpt:

"When I look inside
and see that I am empty,
that is wisdom.
When I look outside
and see that I am everything,
that is love.
Between those two,
my life turns."
- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

"For many years, I wondered if there was a way to reconcile the Buddhist notion of emptiness with my own experiences on and off the mat of fullness - my sense of connection to everything. When I came across this quote by the Nondualist teacher Nisargadatta, I felt the apparent duality dissolve.

Why would such a philosophical point matter, you might ask, when there is so much fear and heartache in the world, when so many of us are struggling with root chakra issues like job security and financial stability? For me, when I can embrace the nothing inside that needs nothing, as well as the everything outside that connect me to all that I am, then fear and constriction around mone and basic survival needs diminish. I can act from a place of clarity to fulfill those needs for myself and for others.

If you are worried now, please take a moment to breathe into the wisdom you are. Take a moment to breathe out love. Nothing and Everything. You are not separate from the wisdom and love of the cosmos. Nor are you separate from those who suffer. When you act in harmony with this knowledge, from this place of connection, you are in service to all."

For more information on Amy and her work, visit:
www.yogafordepression.com

Such is the Giving of God

I received a newsletter today from a wonderful community of Visitation nuns that live in Minneapolis among the poor. I know most of them personally, and taught with a couple of them, when I was just 25 years old, staying there through my mid-thirties, until I re-located to the Washington D.C. area, to teach at the Visitation school in Georgetown for 12 years.

One of the nuns, who was my department head at the time, just celebrated her golden jubilee - 50 years as a professed nun. She chose this quote for her anniversary invitation, and it touched me deeply:

"Such is the giving of God,
it gives us the power
to give of ourselves."
- F. X. Durrwell

This coming year, Visitation nuns celebrate the 400 anniversary of their founding by St. Francis de Sales and St. Jeanne de Chantal.

One final quote on this newsletter also spoke to me:

"During this year of the Visitation,
let us renew like Mary,
the spirit of generosity
and gentleness to others..."
- V. Viguera

Cleared for Inversions - Yeah!

On a very beautiful, but cold February morning, I ride out to see my ophthalmologist, after a long and delicious meditation, to check my right eye for one final time for a condition being monitored since November...

I remember the sage words of a gifted Anusara Yoga teacher, BJ Galvan, who suggested my condition invited a greater sense of vigilance...

I am cleared by my doctor to begin my practice of inversions once again, and feel truly joyful! I also check that a meditation technique I practice isn't having any effect on my eyes...

I ride home, stopping to pick up my McDonald's coffee and to be in the sweet energy of the beautifully radiant woman who is always so graciously attentive and kind. In my heart of hearts, I know the world is populated by many more like her, and that in spite of everything, this is a wonderful world to be in...

I continue on to the river to breathe in that magnificent crisp air, and to give thanks. There is no one there - and I briefly consider doing one handstand at the river, but decide it would be best to do the first one inside, in my sacred purple sanctuary so infused with my meditation, the many prayers I have said, and my practice...

The river is as still as I have seen it in about 6 to 8 months...I can see clearly all the way down to the riverbed - and across - far and wide - and think to myself - this river is once again - a metaphor for my life...It embodies the very deep sense of clarity that I have been given and shown in my meditation in recent weeks...Though my heart still beats inside of me - this sacred river is as still as my soul and my heart...

The river is populated by herons and other fowl - a few of them are here and there - quietly floating on the perfectly still water - and my beating heart is one with theirs. The brilliant sun is practically blinding my one dilated eye - but I see beyond mere physical dimensions and peer with sacred, Divine Sight, into the expansiveness that is granted by Divine Love...My soul, drunk with this love, is fully present in the timelessness of this moment...

I come home, remove my coat and socks, come down to all fours and soften deeply - as I invited my students to do yesterday. For the first time ever, I feel myself embody this softening so essential to opening to Grace. My heart melts deeply, heavy with the fullness of Divine Love, and without the slightest hesitation I go up lightly - extending brightly from my grateful heart - in my first handstand since November. I offer it to God...

I come down, and give thanks for this experience - and for all blessings received - great and small - the ones I've missed and not appreciated - and the ones I've more easily recognized...

I go up once again - as light as a feather - joyous in my new found freedom of being airborne once again - touching the very bliss of God and supported by the whole radiant yoga community that has been there for me - at Willow Street Yoga - and the larger Anusara Yoga gang as well. I am blessed beyond words to be in the generosity of their company!

I bow in thanksgiving - my heart overwhelmed by the deepest gratitude!

I am so joyous in such a simple thing and think to myself - it doesn't get any better than this!

The Power of Grace II

On a brilliant, but cold February morning,
as I lead my yoga students through a flow of backbends,
I share with them the very lesson
I have struggled so hard to learn and embody,
for we teach, in order to learn that which we must know...
Of all the qualities of opening to Grace,
the one I choose to emphasize on this day -
is that of softening, as I say to them:

“If you open
to the power of Grace,
you open to Love
in all its permutations.”

In order to open
to the power of Grace,
we must first soften
and then hug into
the sweetness of that opening

Opening to the power of Grace
opens the doors to transformation

Opening to the power of Grace
connects us more fully
and deeply to the Divine

Opening to the power of Grace
enables us to experience
human love, and
Divine Love
in all its permutations

I invite my students
to become the very embodiment
of opening to the power of Grace—
embracing and reflecting Love
in all its permutations

I come home after a wonderful and joyous morning
to drink a cup of tea.
And then I read the message on my tea bag:

"The moment you love,
you are unlimited."

Even my tea bag reminds me to open to the power of Grace!

And I Dance

I awaken, after a blessed day
filled with wonder and sacred graces
on this earth plane,
and I dance

I awaken, from lucid dreams
and the exquisite joy
experienced in the unexpected visitation
of Great Love,
and I dance

I awaken, after deeply communing
with Divine Love in meditation
lost in rapturous bliss,
and I dance

I awaken, after experiencing
the most profound and esctatic union
and glimpsing untold beauty,
and I dance

I awaken, after the delicious merging
of kindred souls
soothed in the gift of its healing balm,
and I dance

I awaken, to a haunting melody
its sweet lyrics reverberating
in my soul, over and over again
and I dance...

I dance,
and I dance--
led by Spirit,
led by Grace,
in Sacred Union,
my soul, so long in mourning arises
from the slumber of deeply held grief,
awakening to love
and to life,
and I listen to music--
I feel it,
I sing to it,
and I dance,
and dance, once again...

"Your love like wine
tasting sweeter to me every day...

When the snow falls on the Sahara
and the sun freezes over
Till the Mojave red turns into blue
When my lungs get tired of breathing
and my heart stops its breathing,
I'll stop loving you...

when the snow falls on the Sahara
when the music is no longer playing,
and the faithless stop praying,
I'll stop loving you...

I don't want to miss a single heartbeat.
Sometimes my words get in the way,
but I hear your love just fine..."

The Greatest Romance

In the dark and late of night, on the eve of St. Valentine's Day, I listen to classic love songs sung passionately by Natalie Cole - delicious lyrics wafting in and out of my ears, stirring deeply in my heart and soul, bringing to mind so many treasured love songs, as I lose myself in these lines I now hear and once sang - eliciting memories of my greatest and most poignant experiences of human love - of loving most fully and deeply - moments calling me into greater union with Divine Love...So many feelings, freely flowing like a stream of emotional consciousness, transporting me from where I am into higher states and planes...

"Even though its been so long
my love for you keeps going strong
I remember the things that
we used to do...
I try to deny it but I'm still in love with you
I miss you like crazy..."

"I never thought I could make it
I can't believe the hell I've through
Couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel
I didn't know what to do

I've been through the rain
I've been through the fire
There was something that I never knew...

I had an Angel on my shoulder
with a plan for me divine...
Who was right there all the time..."

"When I fall in love,
it will be forever...
When I give my heart,
it will be completely..."

"I have seen the bluest skies
Rainbows that would make you cry
I have seen miracles that moved my soul
Days that changed my life

I have seen the brightest stars
Shine like diamonds in the dark
Seen all the wonders of the world
But I've never seen a smile as
Beautiful as yours

A smile so beautiful
Comes one time in a lifetime..."

So much love and feeling flooding my heart - passion that comes unbidden and surprises - human and Divine love colliding - memories deeply treasured tumbling out of the most profound recesses in my brain, echoing heavily in my beating heart, slowly carry me off into deep sleep...

I awaken, roused from slumber to commune deeply in meditation, physical and human passion now transmuted into a longing for Divine Love, the very subject that Yogananda has been ecstatically and eloquently addressing with me, in his gentle whisperings into the depths of my soul:

"The greatest romance is with the Infinite.
You have no idea how beautiful life can be.
When you suddenly find God everywhere,
when He comes and talks to you and guides you,
the romance of Divine Love has begun."

"The love of God is the only Reality.
We must realize this love of God -
so great, so joyful.
I could not begin to tell you
how great it is!"

"God will not tell you that you should desire Him
above all else. He wants your love to be freely given...
That is the whole secret in the game of this universe.
He who created us yearns for our love...
Our love is the one thing God does not possess,
unless we choose to bestow it..."

The thought of God yearning and pining for our love, is deeply moving - and this is the essential message of the Bhagavad Gita - which is nothing more and nothing less that the Divine's Love Song to us...

"He is the nearest of the near,
the dearest of the dear.
Love Him as a miser loves money,
as an ardent man loves his sweetheart,
as a drowning person loves breath.
When you yearn for God with intensity,
He will come to you..."

And then more lyrics dance joyously in my heart, every beat, every note, animating my soul...I am alive...I am awake...I am drunk with Love...

"Your love, like wine,
tasting sweeter every day...
All of my life I've been waiting
for a love like this
And now that you're here...
its just a second away
it's gonna stay
Till snow falls on the Sahara
And the sun freezes over
Till the Mojave red turns blue
When my lungs get tired of breathing
And my heart stops its beating,
[Not even then] will I stop loving you..."

Wisdom from the Upanishads - The River of God

I picked up Eknath Easwaran's translation of The Upanishads, while I was at my yoga class yesterday afternoon, to add to my collection of Upanishadic translations. This particular volume is so much more accessible than the ones I already owned, and I would like to share some passages that spoke to me as I thumbed through the text in my first cursory examination. I look forward to curling up with this book, and giving it my undivided attention.

The inside cover of the book has this wonderful explanation of these ancient texts, which are collectively known as the Upanishads - the core teachings of Vendanta. The word Upanishad means - "sitting down near," and implied that these teachings were received at the feet of a master or teacher:

"Over two thousand years ago, the sages of India embarked on an extraordinary experiment. While others were exploring the external world, they turned inward - to explore consciousness itself. In the changing flow of human thought, they asked, is there anything that remains the same?

They found that there is indeed a changeless Reality underlying the ebb and flow of life. Their discoveries are an expression of what Aldous Huxley calls the Perennial Philosophy, the wellspring of all religious faith that assures us God-realization is within human reach.

The Upanishads are the sages' wisdom, given in intense sessions of spiritual instruction in ashrams...[and other venues and this book, and] Easwaran shows how these teachings are just as relevant to us now as they ever were centuries ago."

Here are a few passages from the Upanishads:

"You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny."
- Brihadaranyaka IV 4.5

"When all desires that surge in the heart
are renounced, the mortal becomes immortal.
When all the knots that strangle the heart
are loosened, the mortal becomes immortal.
This sums up the teaching of the scriptures."
- Katha II 3.14-15

"The world is the wheel of God, turning round
and round with all living creatures upon its rim.
The world is the river of God,
flowing from Him and and flowing back to Him.
On this ever-revolving wheel of being
the individual self goes round and round
through life after life, believing itself
to be a separate creature, until
it sees its identity with the Lord of Love
and attains immortality in the individual whole."
- Shvetashvatara I.4-6

I loved that notion of the world as the river of God...

This morning was very breezy, and after routine blood work, I headed down to the river with my McDonald's "senior" coffee, to survey the broad expanse of the river, with its foaming waves adamantly lapping at the rocks along the riverbank, undulating like the waves of the ocean...

I have imbibed and learned many lessons at the mouth of this river. It has truly taught me the essence of what is contained in these passages: That attachments hold me captive, that I have within me an unlimited power to change things, and that the most important lesson for me to learn is my soul's connection with the Divine...

This notion of my soul's constant union with the Divine was the message I came away from the talk given before I meditated with a group last night. Every time I meditate, I choose to acknowledge my connection to the Divine, by reciting the simple mantra that Paramahansa Yogananda exhorted his followers to always pray:

"I and the Father are One..."

Slowly, my constant recitation of this prayer is resulting in the gradual erosion of the illusion of separation. Slowly, I am letting go of so much, and each day, I feel lighter and lighter in spirit as I taste a little more bliss in meditation, and in my life experiences and opportunities...All is truly unfolding as it should...

Back on the River Again!

The days continue to be glorious and magnificent - reaching nearly 70 degrees yesterday. After a series of routine check ups, I went to the river to survey its state. The ice was gone, the day was breezy, and the water inviting...

I went to pick up a new yearly pass for the boat launch - then headed home to get Grace.

We spent about 45 minutes on the water and it felt delicious! The water was a little choppy and there was a bit of a wind, but I didn't paddle far. I made it out across to my island briefly, but mostly I just floated - I did a brief meditation, and chanted the mantras that are currently touching my heart and soul, embraced by the healing but very cold waters...

I gave thanks for everything, and felt the newness of being that has been emerging, hold me captive...

The Power of Grace

"You are the proof of Grace.
Grace is something you have already become.
The evidence is that it could have done anything.
But it did you."
- Douglas Brooks

"Love life. You are here to love life.
That's what the Tantra is offering;
the opportunity to step fully,
ever more deeply, every day,
in every breath,
into the possibility of savoring
the gift of embodiment;
of realizing that the Universe
gone through all of this trouble
to make you.
That you're not here to get something,
or acquire something,
or achieve something;
but merely to taste,
to savor the gift
of the conversation of the heart.
And let that be enough
to let this message of love in."
- Gopala Iyer Sundarmoorthy
(Douglas Brook's teacher)

I received both of these quotes in Todd Norian's newsletter. Todd and his wife Ann, are Certified Anusara Yoga teachers, who are both gifted and inspirational, as their newsletter often is as well.

Todd shares a story in the latest edition of his newsletter of being out of sorts and anxious about a series of things. But then, he turns his experiences around:

"I took a deep breath and softened. I reflected on how good I feel when I'm relaxed and when I remember that Grace is always present. I decided to take on the practice of letting go and opening to Grace every time I noticed my stress building. For the next two hours, I practiced breathing with a special focus on the exhalation. As I exhaled, I released tension in my face and released fearful thoughts in my mind. As I inhaled, I practiced filling up with light and literally asking Grace to help me on my journey. This was an awesome practice.

I had the most magical day...

Grace is always available and is constantly being dispersed. But are you open to receive it? The more I allow myself to let go of my resistance and trust in something bigger, the blessings of life naturally flow. Grace wants us to live fully and feel the magic of life. May you open your arms wide and receive the full abundance of blessings Grace has in store for you!"

"Know that Grace has the power
to transform everything you aspire to.
So aspire to the highest,
and offer yourself to that Grace.
Grace will hold you every step of the way.
Anusara is a path of Grace."
- John Friend

For more information on Todd and his workshops, visit:
www.deeppeaceyoga.com

When Great Love Comes

As I noted yesterday, I explored the notion of what is real and unreal in my classes this week - emphasizing how the practice helps to dispel delusions.

I reflected on this myself as I reviewed some of what Paramahansa Yogananda wrote on the subject. Everything I read touched me deeply, and these are some of the thoughts I had:

"What is real? All that comes and that is sourced from the Divine is real. That which comes from the material world is unreal...

What is connected to the Divine is eternal. What is connected to the earth plane, passes....

The more we connect to the Divine, the more clearly we will be able to see what is real...

We make that connection by seeking the Divine deeply in meditation. Only then will He reveal Himself. But we must search, and look, with unceasing dedication. Nothing else will satisfy...

We must recognize that God's Presence is in all things, and in all places - and at all times..."

I read this passage from Yogananda over and over again. Part of it I had shared in a December entry. But now, I had the whole passage, and it spoke much more deeply - with a purity and clarity I may not have had or appreciated nearly a month ago, when a dear friend shared part of it:

"And when great love for God
comes in your heart,
you do not miss anything;
no matter what you have
or do not have in this world,
you nevertheless feel fulfilled.
Divine love transmutes
all material desires -
even the longing for human love...
Loving the Lord, you can never turn back
to being satisfied by lesser loves.
In Him you will find
all the love of all hearts.
You will find completeness.
Everything that the world gives you
and then takes away,
leaving you in pain or dissillusionment,
you will find in God
in a much greater way,
and with no aftermath of sorrow."

I read, and re-read, and drink in the solace of this wisdom dispensed as sweet nectar for the soul...

I nod softly, and gently, in acknowledgment of that moment when Great Love comes, and the heart blissfully accepts, that God alone suffices...

From the Unreal to the Real

The last few days have been so magnificent - beautiful, sunny, warm - and I've had the pleasure of listening to the joyous chirping of birds while sitting during my morning meditations. I thought to myself, as I heard them this morning, how wonderful it is to be alive!

Yesterday, I went down to the river to see if more of it had unfrozen, and indeed it had. Just a few feet were remaining alongside the riverbank. Still, there were people walking on the ice, which was not smart. I watched with interest, taking in the way a very experienced kayaker maneuvered himself over the ice and onto the river...

He slid his kayak over the ice and deftly launched himself sideways onto a river with very strong currents. Shortly before getting into the water, this kayaker talked a couple of very inexperienced men out of going into the water. They were not properly attired and he impressed upon them that the water temperature was 37 degrees, noting the impact it would have on them. The currents were strong, and the river was certainly to be respected!

Today, I reflected on what is real - and what is unreal in my yoga classes. So often, the things we think are real - are truly not. The things we often feed by our attention and our thoughts, are not the things that are real...For example, two people will look at the same situation and always see it differently. Whose viewpoint is real - and which one is unreal?

Looking out into the river, its true conditions seemed deceptive. It was warm - nearly reaching the 50's. There was a part of me that briefly considered going in - but in my heart of hearts, I knew that was not what I should do - though I deeply longed to get in. The conditions could be dangerous.

So many scriptures and traditions teach us - that much of what we attend to in this material realm is really illusion. Paramahansa Yogananda often referred to this world as a movie. We come here to play out a role and learn our lessons - but this is not our home - and this reality we accept as given is not real. Quantum physics supports so much of this as well. And, many current authors, such as Eckhart Tolle constantly write and teach about is real, what is important, and what distracts us from our true nature and task.

I ended my class this morning with this well known passage from the Brihad Aranyaka Upanishad, which has been recited throughout hundreds of centuries and has as much to teach us today, as it did to the ancient sages and seers, who first recited it. It is a beautiful prayer with which to start and end the day - particularly in these very confused and fearful times when so much bad economic news dominates our airwaves and our thoughts. Even in the midst of such dire news - many wonderful things happen, if we can look beyond what seemingly presents itself to us as real...

"Lead me from the unreal to the real;
from darkness into light,
and from death to immortality."

Inner Renunciation III

I was gifted with the opportunity to meditate with two friends this week - each one deeply devoted to their meditation practice. Yesterday, a spiritual brother and I shared the impact and insights that the readings on renunciation were having in our lives.

As sojourners on the earth plane, we are constantly being reminded that there is more to life, and that we have to slowly divest ourselves of all the attachments and things that occlude our connection to the Divine, the spiritual realm, and to one another. The ultimate gift we give - is that of our own lives, and I was acutely reminded of this last light, as I accompanied my husband to see the movie, "Grand Torino," which is truly an exercise in morality on so many levels.

I share this passage coming from the writings of Sri Gyanamata, because it was the selection for today in Yogananda's Spiritual Diary. Every time I read it, it has so much more to offer and yield in terms of insights for me, and hopefully may be of benefit to many of you, and will bear re-visiting one more time...

"What I could not understand
was why everything must go;
why things that were right,
that were mine, that harmed no one,
why all the dear little rights and privileges
must be taken from me.
But they were so taken by God.
He was thrusting me out of a life
of dependence upon small comforts
into one that should be lived for him alone."

Inner Renunciation II

The series of beautiful readings on renunciation in Paramahansa Yogananda's Spiritual Directory, are about to conclude, and I wish to share today's entry, which I read on this magnificent Saturday morning, with a chorus of joyful birds chirping in the background to my meditation:

"It is alright to enjoy life;
the secret of happiness
is not to become attached to anything.
Enjoy the smell of the flower,
but see God in it.
I have kept the consciousness of the senses
only that in using them
I may perceive and think of God.
'Mine eyes were made to behold
They beauty everywhere.
My ears were made to hear
Thine omnipresent voice.'
That is Yoga, union with God.
It is not necessary to go
to the forest to find Him.
Worldly habits will hold us fast
wherever we may be
until we free ourselves from them.
The yogi learns to find God
in the cave of his heart.
Wherever he goes,
he carries with him
the blissful consciousness
of God's presence."

Inner Renunciation

The series of readings in Paramahansa Yogananda's Spiritual Diary for this week, have dealt with the topic of "inner renunciation." Many of the these readings are very relevant to me at this time, and I will share some passages that spoke deeply to my heart...

"Renunciation is the wise path trod by the devotee who willingly gives up the lesser for the greater..."

"To engage in actions without desire for their fruit is true tyaga (renunciation). God is the Divine Renunciant, for He carries on all the activities of the universe without attachment to them. Anyone aspiring to Self-realization - whether he be a monastic or a householder - must act and live for the Lord, without being emotionally involved in His drama of creation."

"The saints stress nonattachment so that one strong point of material attachment may not prevent our attaining the entire kingdom of God. Renunciation does not mean giving up everything; it means giving up small pleasures for eternal bliss."

"Renunciation is not an end, it is the means to an end. The real renunciant is he who lives for God first, regardless of his outer mode of existence..."

"At heart renounce everything, and realize that you are just playing a part in the intricate Cosmic Movie, a part that sooner or later must be over. You will then forget it as a dream. Our environment produces the delusion in us of the seeming importance of our present roles and our present tests. Rise above that temporal consciousness. So realize God within that He becomes the only influence in your life."

Challenges from the Internet

I received this from the most recent Inner Journey Newsletter, and I found it very interesting to contemplate, so I share it with you...

"The central event of the twentieth century
is the overthrow of matter...
The powers of the mind are everywhere ascendant
over the brute force of things."
- George Gilder

Those of us who use the Internet are challenged with spam, viruses and worms. What meaning can we find in these culprits?

It helps to remember that the cause of everything lies in the spiritual realm. And so we might reflect:

On spam: What unsolicited junk do we allow to enter our minds and distract us from what's important?
On viruses: What malicious thoughts and behaviors sabotage our dreams and sap our vitality?
On worms: How do we allow fear to worm its way into our lives and subvert our highest intentions?

Mass consciousness is a reflection of all of our individual consciousness. The inner world creates the outer world. When we clean up our own systems, the external systems will follow suit.

"If each of us sweeps in front of our own steps,
the whole world would be clean."
- Goethe

Walking the Labyrinth

We are into a new month, in a new year, and I walk the labyrinth with a dear friend, noting the many insights freely flowing, as we both embrace this ancient practice...

I observe how sometimes, our lives and our paths on this earth plane, intersect - and how we ride the same waves. Sometimes, our hearts beat in tandem with a select few with whom we cross paths: friends - family - or mere acquaintances...

Other times, we journey onward, shouldering the burdens of our lives and work on our own, living quiet lives of sadness and grief...

Every once in a while, a perfect stranger connects with us - at precisely the right moment in time - and gives us an important message or the key that will unlock a mystery in our lives...At other times, an affirmation of our life's work or direction is unexpectedly received...I marvel at the perfect set of circumstances that set such encounters in motion, so that we meet the right person - at precisely the right time in our lives...

Sometimes our lives run parallel to someone else's for a long time - or for nearly an entire life span - or perhaps for only a brief moment in time...

Sometimes there is an intensity, and then a break in a relationship - or a re-discovery, or a re-connecting occurring after decades...

Yet throughout it all, there is no separation...We have all been put here to do whatever it is that we came here to do - and God sends the support that is necessary for every leg of the journey...

But the only constant through it all, is the Presence and Love of God. It is the only thing that endures and is truly with us throughout this lifetime, and all others. There is no one person that is literally in your life in every moment...

Sometimes our lives unfold in an effortless way...Other times the path we walk, is more circuitous. But God's hand is always guiding us - if only we are able or willing to see and accept...

Like the labyrinth, our life, if lived long enough, is a road well traveled and seasoned by many rich experiences and insights - and precious gifts bestowed...

It was a blessing to receive such insights today. Often I walk, and do not glean anything of great importance. Still, I savor the experience just the same...

I walk into the center of the labyrinth and meditate with my friend for nearly an hour, lost in the Presence and Light of the Divine...I am grateful for all that is - and has been - and is yet to come. I am grateful for the trials and the tribulations weathered - and the brilliant ray of sunshine breaking through and shining on the shadow of all that has been lived and experienced in my life...

I repeat my prayers and mantras:

I and the Father are One...
Do not change the circumstances of my life - but change me!
For God alone suffices...
All shall be well...

Then I drop all of them and dwell only in the sacred silence and stillness of the cave of my own heart...

I enter into a state of bliss and union with the Divine that is both personal and is shared...In this wonderfully joyous experience of meditating, praying, thanking God, and sharing with a friend - I am sweetly reminded - that where two or three are gathered in His Name - there He is the midst of those blessed souls, residing in their hearts...

And after all, as this friend so often remarks - "What else is there?"

What Feeds You?

Today, I invited my students to consider in class - what fed their bodies, their minds, and their souls. I also asked them to think of the things they fed, that perhaps they might not want to feed. Then, I suggested that they consider the practice as a way to feed themselves...

At a time like this one - when we are in the dead of winter, but also in the midst of hard, economic times - it is good to take time to feed and nourish our spirits, so that we in turn - can feed others...

This weekend, as I readied all my information for filing my taxes, I came across various inspirations things that I had saved at one time or another. I wanted to share this piece, because so many parts spoke to me - and fed me. I sense it will speak to many of you as well...

NATIVE AMERICAN INDIAN TRADITIONAL CODE OF ETHIBS
Inter-Tribal Times, October 1994

1. Each morning upon rising, and each evening before sleeping, give thanks for the life within you and for all life, for the good things the Creator has given you and for the opportunity to grow a little more each day. Consider your thoughts and actions of the past day and seek for the courage and strength to be a better person. Seek for the things that will benefit others (everyone).

2. Respect. Respect means "To feel or show honor or esteem for someone or something to consider the well being of, or to treat someone or something with deference or courtesy." Showing respect is a basic law of life.

a. Treat every person with respect at all times.
b. Special respect should be given to Elders, Parents, Teachers, and Community Leaders.
c. No person should be put down by you. Avoid hurting other hearts as you would a deadly poison.
d. Touch nothing that belongs to others - especially sacred objects - without permission.
e. Respect the privacy of every person, and never intrude on a person's private moment or space.
f. Never walk between people that are conversing.
g. Never interrupt people who are conversing.
h. Speak in a soft voice, especially in the presence of Elders or those to whom respect is due.
i. Do not speak unless invited to at gatherings where Elders are present.
j. Never speak about others in a negative way, whether they are present or not.
k. Treat the earth as your mother. Show deep respect for all of the earth's aspects.
l. Show deep respect for the beliefs and religion of others.
m. Listen with courtesy to what others say. Listen with your heart.
n. Respect the wisdom of the people in council.

3. Once a council has decided something in unity, respect it, and don't talk against it.
4. Be truthful at all times, and under all conditions.
5. Always treat your guests with honor and consideration.
6. The hurt of one is the hurt of all, the honor of one is the honor of all.
7. Receive strangers and outsiders with a loving heart.
8. All races and tribes are like the different colored flowers of one meadow. All are beautiful and children of the Creator.
9. To serve others, be of some use to family, community, and nation.
10. Observe moderation and balance in all things.
11. Know those things that lead to your well-being and those that lead to your destruction.
12. Listen to and follow the guidance given to your heart. And expect guidance to come in many forms, such as in prayers, dreams, and in moments of solitude, and wisdom received.

By putting these wonderful dictates into practice, we will truly lead a balanced and whole life where we feed ourselves and those around us - growing in time, into a magnificent garden of wonderous and diverse souls - each one of us - a unique manifestation of the Divine shining our own unique light and beauty!

I am a Believer

Yesterday morning I finally took that Survivor Test. It turns out I am a Believer. I guess I am more so that - than a Connector. But I can't say that I am surprised...

The interesting thing was to learn what my three top Survivor Strengths were: Faith, Hope, and Empathy...Almost like - Faith, Hope, and Charity...Humm....Much food for thought here...

You are also given your bottom three traits. Mine were: Adaptability, Tenacity, and Flow. To increase my chances of surviving in any circumstance, I should work on these...I have to agree with the test's assessments, although I tend to have more tenacity in some situations than others - for example - persevering in completing a doctoral program, and a demanding yoga certification process. But I would agree, that in other situations, I tend to give up more readily.

Ironically - the last one - "Flow," reminds me of the meaning of Anusara Yoga - "to flow with Grace". It also reminds me of river lessons received this year, that often encouraged me to go with the flow of the current, and not fight it...

I printed out my report and hope to sit down and go through it more carefully, taking the time to reflect a little more deeply on its insights.