The Song of a Servant

Awakenings comes in so many ways...

Sometimes awakenings are subtle, and other times, not so much...

Sometimes they hit us over the head with a brick, while other times it happens softly with just a mere glance...

Sometimes we awaken with a word, or a touch, or a song...

Sometimes we are led back on a path we had left behind, in mysterious ways...

Sometimes we are led to journey back home after a long sojourn in many foreign lands...

Sometimes we are led back very deeply into our hearts...

During Holy Week I heard "Servant Song" by David Haas, and it moved me profoundly. I had not heard it for a very long time time, but it called to me and spoke to me, and awakened a deep longing I could not understand - presaging consequences I could not have foreseen...

So many places I have walked, but I never imagined retracing certain steps...

Many biblical passages arise in my heart and mind unbidden - tumbling out of me with such force and determination and such insistence - bearing messages that I am surprised to receive. I am also astounded I remember all the passages by heart...

I sat in church this past Sunday and the Gospel reading reminded me of a calling I heard over four decades ago, and to which I responded in a myriad of ways over time...

"Do you love me? Then feed my sheep..."

I thought at the time when I dreamed  those words in my early twenties that it was calling me to religious life... But it was not, at least - not in this lifetime...

The words speak to me again as I hear them in church; I reflect on them, and I almost impulsively decide to run for a vacant position in the parish council, though it takes me several days to realize this message is marinating in my depths and it will take a bit more time to discover and unpack all that it means and implies...

"Do you love me? Then feed my sheep..."

Have I not been doing this all my life? What more is being asked of me? Something tells me in my depths, it is not over yet... There is more work to do...

I have journeyed deeply into Western mysticism and spirituality all of my life - and into Eastern spiritual and mystical practices as well - and now it seems the pendulum swings again - calling me back to enrich the West with treasures acquired from the East...

Some esoteric writers believe and provide evidence for Jesus spending his "Lost Years" in the East. They write that if you read the Gospels, but most especially Gnostic texts such as the Gospel of Thomas from an Eastern perspective, you will discover hidden and richly textured meanings, layered into his sayings...

I see everything with new eyes...

I experience everything with a new heart...

I step into the old anew, as if baptized...

I look to many texts for the support that I need...

I rediscover and and experience so much again...

I am called, not to be a servant once again - but to continue being so - in a different capacity that will gradually unfold and make itself known, if I listen very carefully, in the silence of my heart...

The Servant Song  

(David Haas)

Will you let me be your servant?

Let me be as Christ to you.

Pray that I might have the grace

To let you be my servant, too.

We are pilgrims on a journey.

We are travelers on the road.

We are here to help each other

Walk the mile and bear the load.

I will hold the Christ-light for you

In the night time of your fear.

I will hold my hand out to you;

Speak the peace you long to hear.

I will weep when you are weeping.

When you laugh, I'll laugh with you.

I will share your joy and sorrow

Till we see this journey through.

Will you let me be your servant?

Let me be as Christ to you.

Pray that I may have the grace

To let you be my servant too.

To listen to this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYq6dCBm24