Fullness and Order
I cannot believe it has been almost two months since my last entry here...
There have been so many times I have intended to connect here, but as the saying goes - life got in the way!
At the beginning of September, I finished my summer project, which was to go through every closet, drawer, and cabinet in the house - generally lightening my load and footprint on the earth. The result is that now I can see where everything is - and have passed on the many things I no longer need.
I also embarked on a life-changing course of coming into greater health and wellness, and now, nearly two months later, I am reaping the fruits of my labor and enjoying its sweet harvest.
This morning, it was both sunny and cool, and I was moved to take my coffee down to the river, as I began nearly every morning years ago. The river called, and I longed to just go and be by its banks. It was swollen and full and much debris hugged the boat ramp after days of very heavy rains.
There I stood, breathing in the cleanness of the air, breathing in and out many repetitions of LovingKindness for so many that I know in need: those undergoing illness and recovery, trials and tribulations, challenges, and pain.
They poured out of me, and I sent prayers and healing energy to the many in need that have asked and those whose images arose and spontaneously crossed my mind...
I sent the prayers and intentions out, and they were carried away by wind and waves - supplications that I know will be gently laid at the footsteps of the Divine.
Then I reflected on my own life - on the space that I have created for something new...
I still feel as though I am between worlds and lifetimes - between the here and now and the not yet - as if there is some role I have not begun to play but seem to constantly be in preparation for.
And then I had a beautiful image of the divine hands of Mother Mary, under a blue cape, showing me the many thousands I have encountered or connected with throughout my lifetime - students, readers of blogs and writings, those who listen to my daily meditations and those I have met online and through social media. And suddenly, the world got so much smaller.
it was comforting to see and sense those connections - especially those from other decades of my life, that have only been made possible through the internet.
I also thought of my recent trip to Florida for the wedding of the daughter of a friend from high school and college. Not only did I get to see them - but also my roommate from college. We spent days on the beach, walking, and talking and sharing a room - as if 42 years had never gone by.
And then, as I stood on the swollen banks of this river that has seen me through so much pain, sorrow - but most importantly - interior growth - and I had two more strong insights:
An incredible feeling overcame me - of being so full, and enveloped in a mantle of Divine Love and support, that in my heart of hearts I knew that all would not only be well - but that it already IS well!
Everything has unfolded according to plan. I do not need to wait for anything. It is all here. It has happened. It is done! Every moment where love is shared, where a prayer is offered - where compassion is extended was my reason for being here.
And then I prayed for openness of heart and spirit - to be cleansed and to have both my heart and soul be made whiter than snow. I prayed to embody more compassion.
Yes, a sense of fullness pervaded everything - and love - and a deep recognition that all was in the Divine Order of Things!
There have been so many times I have intended to connect here, but as the saying goes - life got in the way!
At the beginning of September, I finished my summer project, which was to go through every closet, drawer, and cabinet in the house - generally lightening my load and footprint on the earth. The result is that now I can see where everything is - and have passed on the many things I no longer need.
I also embarked on a life-changing course of coming into greater health and wellness, and now, nearly two months later, I am reaping the fruits of my labor and enjoying its sweet harvest.
This morning, it was both sunny and cool, and I was moved to take my coffee down to the river, as I began nearly every morning years ago. The river called, and I longed to just go and be by its banks. It was swollen and full and much debris hugged the boat ramp after days of very heavy rains.
There I stood, breathing in the cleanness of the air, breathing in and out many repetitions of LovingKindness for so many that I know in need: those undergoing illness and recovery, trials and tribulations, challenges, and pain.
They poured out of me, and I sent prayers and healing energy to the many in need that have asked and those whose images arose and spontaneously crossed my mind...
I sent the prayers and intentions out, and they were carried away by wind and waves - supplications that I know will be gently laid at the footsteps of the Divine.
Then I reflected on my own life - on the space that I have created for something new...
I still feel as though I am between worlds and lifetimes - between the here and now and the not yet - as if there is some role I have not begun to play but seem to constantly be in preparation for.
And then I had a beautiful image of the divine hands of Mother Mary, under a blue cape, showing me the many thousands I have encountered or connected with throughout my lifetime - students, readers of blogs and writings, those who listen to my daily meditations and those I have met online and through social media. And suddenly, the world got so much smaller.
it was comforting to see and sense those connections - especially those from other decades of my life, that have only been made possible through the internet.
I also thought of my recent trip to Florida for the wedding of the daughter of a friend from high school and college. Not only did I get to see them - but also my roommate from college. We spent days on the beach, walking, and talking and sharing a room - as if 42 years had never gone by.
And then, as I stood on the swollen banks of this river that has seen me through so much pain, sorrow - but most importantly - interior growth - and I had two more strong insights:
Everything has transpired in the Divine order of things!
And, my heart is full!
An incredible feeling overcame me - of being so full, and enveloped in a mantle of Divine Love and support, that in my heart of hearts I knew that all would not only be well - but that it already IS well!
Everything has unfolded according to plan. I do not need to wait for anything. It is all here. It has happened. It is done! Every moment where love is shared, where a prayer is offered - where compassion is extended was my reason for being here.
And then I prayed for openness of heart and spirit - to be cleansed and to have both my heart and soul be made whiter than snow. I prayed to embody more compassion.
Yes, a sense of fullness pervaded everything - and love - and a deep recognition that all was in the Divine Order of Things!
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