Aligning with Grace

I open the blinds and the dense fog takes my breath away. I know that it means only one thing. I MUST go down to the river! Such moments are few and far between, and I am reminded of paddling in the river on Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah, back in the fall of 2008... I cannot see to the other side of the river - it all grey - the sky and water blending as one. A fisherman launches off and soon disappears behind the veil... I don't know what it is about fog at the river that draws me and speaks to me. There is something so mysterious about it. I wish I could step into the river, but I have arranged to meet a friend for breakfast on this morning... I watch one lone goose, without it's friends, gently glide downstream for a bit... I do Lovingkindness meditations and prayers, and reflect on a series of insights and writings I have come across recently, like these: "Your prayers for someone may or may not change them, but it always changes you." ~ Craig Groeschel "Remin...

We are all travelers in time... This is the thought that comes to me at the river this morning, as I take time to do some brief meditations before returning home to teach... I do not have the river to myself this morning. Instead, a friendly group of more aged walkers smile, and wish me a good morning. They do not know that I am not a morning person and I do not like to talk that early! Still, I smile back, and and greet them. There is so much I am thinking about - it would take several entries and volumes of information to download here, so I will mention only a few brief points... My acupuncturist asked me on Monday, how I was doing with my goals of exercising greater compassion and aiming for more simplicity in my life. She did not know about all the recent events in my yoga community, and so I gave her a brief recap. I am no longer the co-chair of the curriculum committee - so all the work done there came to a grinding halt. For that reason, and a few others, I find myself with mo...

On this first day of the Vernal Equinox, I go down to the river in the morning, and stay for a while to do Lovingkindness meditations, and to recite the Reiki Precepts... I also recite a "mantra" of sorts that has arisen for me, these last few days: Let it be. Let it go. Let go of holding on. Hold on to letting go. Let go, and let God... In the midst of so much negativity, anger, brusque, and sarcastic behavior and comments I have been silently witnessing on three Facebook pages dedicated to the Anusara yoga situation, I decide to step back... I decide to step back in many ways, and journey more deeply within, because it shows me where I need to do my own inner work... There is a much bigger world out there, and I am overwhelmed by the many I know who are in need, and removed from this situation. This is not to belittle the reality of things or the experiences of people, but I just cannot give it my energy any more... It is a good time to assess where I am in life - what need...

Today is a beautiful day... I can see it. Feel it. Taste it... Yesterday, on the other hand, was a day that was raw emotionally, in every way... As I continue to observe and become partially embroiled in the fallout and several discussion threads regarding the recent events within my yoga community, I feel myself gradually, and unexpectedly pulled back to an emotional landscape I have not inhabited for a while now - but the churning of information in the midst of multiple revelations awakens memories and tugs at the remnants of old wounds, long since healed... And so, instead of going to my yoga class on the other side of the river, I choose instead, to get inside the river... In the last day, so many quotations come to me bearing needed insights... It seems everything is being broken open everwhere - in my community, in the lives of my friends, and in my heart as well. I question everything, and I mean - EVERYTHING! Inner work continues, it cannot be otherwise... There are always new ...

For only the second time since my surgery last summer, I stepped into the river... It's not like I haven't been in the river at this time of year before, but never in capris, and short sleeves, and my purple crocs! I pushed away from the launch site, and felt both freedom and exhilaration, as I paddled into the river, in Grace, my trusty kayak, who also accompanied me upstream day after day, just a few years ago, as I battled depression... But today, the only tune that played in my head, was, "I'm free! I'm free!, " by The Who. I know. I'm dating myself... I paddled to the Maryland side of the Potomac River, only intending to be there for a bit. I had a lot of work waiting for me back home. And, I was overwhelmed by the many needs out there, and so many requests for Reiki, prayers, healing energy and my time... I intended to say a few prayers, and somehow decide who needed them most today, and head back... But, God had something else in store for me. I was...

Every year, I wait for one very special day: The day in between the Mahasamadhi of Paramahansa Yogananda and that of his own guru, Sri Yukteswar, just separated by a mere day... Yogananda's Mahasamadhi is on the 7th of March - and Sri Yukteswar's, is on the 9th. I like to think that Yogananda left his body to be with his own teacher and master on his day. I can imagine the party they had, and like good friends, imagine they stayed up all night getting caught up in each other's lives! (Not that they really needed to do that!) A mahasamadhi, is the "conscious exit" from the body and a particular lifetime by a great being when his or her task is done. It is something that all great gurus and lamas in both the Hindu and Buddhist traditions strive to attain, by living a life enriched by dedicated spiritual practices. It is said, that on the day of a great being's mahasamadhi, they are more present, and the attention they give to prayers and special requests is ampl...

On this beautiful, and magnificent morning, I ponder the safe delivery of a friend and her baby boy, and continue to hold them in my prayers as they await tests... I pray for a friend whose father is in the process of transitioning... And for another awaiting surgery - and still another in the midst of a long convalescence. And this is just a mere sampling of those for whom I am praying. The needs are many... But on this day, which is also the 60th anniversary of the Mahasamadhi of Paramahansa Yogananda, I am comforted in the knowledge that he intercedes for all of my friends in a very special way. On this day, 60 years ago, Yogananda left his earthly form to be more present to all, from the Spiritual Realm. And so, I mark this beautiful occasion, by sharing some samples from his writings which seem very appropriate and speak to many experiences and situations I have been experiencing: "Through meditation one can experience a stable, silent inner peace that can be a permanently so...

Buddhists teach, that the only constant is change... Gandhi once extolled, that we must be the change we want to see in the world... The season of Lent invites us to do inner work and reflection and make changes within and ultimately without... It seems that everything that comes into my inbox lately addresses this theme of change - Lenten reflections, Facebook posts, emails... I receive a picture of a beautiful bird, an eagle perhaps, with a huge wingspan accompanied by the caption: "Change your mind. Change the world..." A Lenten reflection I subscribe to, posed this question yesterday: "What would make you drop everything and change directions?" It is never too late for change... Rumi reminds us that, "You transform all who are touched by you..." Truly, the only constant is change... And today, from my Lenten reflections, "Journey to the Cross," I receive the following insights... "We are creating the future today. It is hard to imagine w...

There is a time to live, and a time to die... Parents know that they must provide their children with a strong foundation, education, and values - so that they may eventually leave the nest and flourish on their own... In the last few days I've received so much sad news... A dear friend is helping her father transition... Another awaits the birth of her child, facing complications. And another was just diagnosed with cancer. A dear friend of my family transitioned today... I consider all these occurrences against the back drop of my yoga community and the events that shattered it... What does all this mean? What does it say to me? I am reminded of the fragility of life and the importance of living fully in the present moment... I am reminded that children need roots and wings - much like some of my yoga community's progeny - which are now finding their voices and stepping into their own power... I am reminded that the only constant is change... And, I am reminded of of the famo...