Stumbling from Grace into Bliss

Sometimes, a word keeps showing up everywhere you look and everywhere you turn. 

Other times it might be an experience.

And sometimes, it's both at the same time...

The more we practice - particularly meditation - the more we come to inhabit a state of grace. Paramahansa Yogananda in his writings, described how the deeper one meditates, the deeper one can go - the range of depths and experiences can never be plumbed in this life time. We never arrive. There is always so much farther one can go in the practice and in communing with the Divine. I find a certain comfort in that.

Both Yogananda, and a gifted therapist I once visited, who was a devotee of Yogananda, asserted that over time, the practice of meditation leads one to inhabit a state of grace, more often than not. In time, the practice can lead to bliss, and eventually bliss will prevail as a state of being. It seems like such an amazing gift to me!

Lately, everything I hear, read, or listen to reminds me of the state of grace, which is nothing more and nothing less than a gift from the Divine.

This morning, Sherry, a lovely yogini, posted these words to great my day:

"All I desire is to be grace. 

Grace drenched in the awareness

and sweet nectar of the Divine."

Grace comes to us at times, when we least expect it. We might practice our whole lives, and never experience it. It always arrives in its own time, on its own terms and schedule - without any warning...

One morning you wake up, and you simply stumble into grace. And then, you stumble into bliss - and it permeates everything you do and see - every interaction you have - everything you say and think. It becomes the lens through which everything is perceived and experienced.

When you are in that place, everything is connected. A sense of oneness permeates everything - and every flower and animal that you encounter, speaks to you. Everything else speaks as well. You become engulfed in a cacophony of insights and messages freely disclosed by everything you encounter.

This morning, on my walk, an owl flew by me, and then perched itself on a branch just slightly ahead and looked down at me, quite sternly I might add, as if urgently trying to convey a message. I must admit, it scared the daylights out of me, practically giving me whip lash as it nearly brushed up against me!

When I came home I looked up the mean of owls and found that their presence reminds us to meditate, look deeply within, and trust what's inside - particularly when the depths within others is revealed to us, for owls point to that ability. Owls are also connected to wisdom.

Earlier this week, as I was searching for some music, this beautiful piece, by Felicia Starks came to me, as an unexpected gift. It is simply titled, "Day of Grace."

Today is one of those days.

Today is a day of grace.

In fact, every day, is a day of grace.

In time, one day of grace blends into another and yet another - until all days become a tapestry and embodiment of both grace and bliss.

Day of Grace

I know it's meant to be

That I should feel sometimes

Not everything I touch

Will turn to gold

That every lesson learned

Is a diamond in my crown

Though for years they appeared

To be nothing more than coal 

I love this life

Even when it hurts

Even when I'm weary from the rains

The power of Him

Lifts me up in this day of grace

This day of grace

Sometimes in a moment

Of despair and doubt

I'm blessed with eyes to see

The woman I will be

When mercy assures me

Of Heaven's perfect plan

I love this life...

Such a gift that we've been given

Perfect love that never ends

Washes over me

And makes me holy again

I love this life...

Felicia Starks, Day of Grace
 https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/felicia-starks/id5580062

There is a Time

This time of year, many of us attend graduations. Schools end their scholastic year and Memorial Day officially ushers in the summer. Life is full of beginnings and endings. There is a season to everything. And a time as well...

There is a time to embrace
And a time to let go

There is a time to move foward
And a time to step back

There is a time to step into the light
And a time to recede into the shadows

There is a time to begin
And a time to end

There is a time to resolve
And a time to bring closure

There is a time to engage
And a time to let things be

There is a time to be active
And a time to go within

My journey has required in its most recent phase that I:

let go
step back
end
experience closure
let things be
and go within

All of these experiences were needed and part of a birthing process I could not see or perceive.

There is a time to see
And one where sight is taken

There is a time to understand
And one to live with ambiguity

The gift of life requires that we experience it all to become most fully whom we are meant to be. We must hold all our experiences in our hearts in dynamic tension - in a place devoid of opposition where instead, all things merge.

There is a time to proclaim
And a time to be

There is a time to give
And a time to receive

In the process of living and experiencing all that we do - our empathy, our compassion, and our love is deepened and finally seasoned...

A Perfect Day in Every Way

Every once in a while, a day comes and goes, and at the end of your day, as you reflect on it you recognize, that it was not only a day that arrived unbidden and truly brimming over, so full of grace, but it was also undeniably, a perfect day in every way...

Every once in a while, a day comes and goes, that is so rich and rewarding and filled with so many blessings, that you could not have planned it any more perfectly. In that moment you realize, it was a perfect day, in every way...

Every now and then, you make a wish, and sometimes down the road, perhaps several years later, you receive it as an unexpected gift. And once again, you know in that moment, that day, was perfect, in every way...

Every now and then, a day comes, and you are filled with awe at its sheer beauty - the company was perfect - the time spent with loved ones - arrived perhaps as unexpected gift, and once again, you know the day was perfect, in every way...

Once in a while, the sky shines and smiles down upon us with an incredibly brilliance practically blinding us - bluer than the bluest eye - bathing us in a cool and gentle breeze - punctuated by laughter and joy - and in those moments we know that the day was truly perfect, in every way...

There are times when we bare our souls and share with a soul a companion everything that resides in our depths - and that friend mirrors back the joy and simplicity we reflect within, listening to us attentively with total presence and undivided attention. Once again we know, that day, was perfect in every way...

There are times in our lives, when everything comes together, merging in an incredible sense of oneness and stillness and beauty and Divine light - and we truly know, everything is perfect in every way...

There are times when time itself stands still. All creation dances with joy and the most beautiful music, sourced from within, permeates everything. Then we cannot ever deny, everything is perfect, in every way..

Yes, every now and then, a day arrives as sheer gift, wrapping us up in its embrace, holding us captive, and we joyously proclaim, it is perfect, in every way!

Filled

There are times in our lives when we feel filled...

I thought of that this morning when I visited the river for some "Loving-Kindness" practice after my morning prayers and meditation. The river had swollen over its banks and almost up the entire boat ramp area due to the gentle falling rains of the last few days. The rain has been mostly steady, but a couple of days ago when I visited, the river was still pretty calm. But not so today...

I could see a lot of debris floating downstream with incredible urgency, as if all the pieces of tree trunks and limbs were late for a date or something. Still, what captivated my thoughts was this image of fullness - of being filled to the brim, like this river that was bursting at the seams and over its banks.

Yes, there are times in our lives when we are filled...

We may be filled with many things. We may be filled with love, or happiness, or a sense of goodness or well-being - which are not all that different from one another. We might even be filled with compassion, or with faith...

I've been reflecting on what faith is - and what it really means to me. It has never meant an assent to a particular set of dogma or beliefs, or even a religious tradition. It always meant something more. And so, I was very much captivated by this simple definition I read in a book I just finished:

"... Ultimately faith is a love story..."

I stopped dead in my tracks when I read this sentence. I needed to savor all the words - roll them over on my tongue like a fine wine, noticing what delectable flavors I could sense and extract from them.

Yes, faith is a love story. And like any good love story - we fall in and out of sync with our faith over the course of a lifetime, if we are truly honest with ourselves...

I just finished reading the book Radical Reinvention: An Unlikely Return to the Catholic Church, by Kaya Oakes, and it was one of those reads that left me breathless. As a "former theologian," it was profoundly satisfying. It is irreverent, informative, passionate, funny, and profoundly moving - all at once! I related to it on so many levels. I thought to myself, here is a woman I'd love to meet and have a drink with! But, I digress...

Yes, sometimes we are filled - and maybe a few of those times we are filled with faith and we experience it as a love story.

My very first experiences of faith were precisely that - experiences of being loved profoundly and loving in return - even if my developing brain could not totally make sense of it. Many of these experiences were mystical and hard to put into words. But those experiences were there and very real to me nonetheless. 

Oakes also speaks of being drawn to saints and mystics who embodied "radical reinvention," calling others to a conversion of life and spirit in every way. The Church, being a human institution, has always been flawed and its members have challenged it to grow and evolve slowly over the course of time...

When I studied theology in the 70's, I thought big changes were right around the corner. And why not? I was a child of Vatican II. But, decades dissolved into more decades, and my enthusiasm soured. I needed to stop teaching theology, and I substituted it with teaching yoga classes and yoga philosophy workshops for more than a decade.

Now, I find myself called back to share whatever gifts may remain within me - in whatever ways may be necessary - very much aware that there is much work to be done and that nothing radically changed in my years of "non-involvement." Still, while I recognize things may not be the way I would like to see them, I can accept them as they are, grounded in a vision of all that could be...

"Some men see things as they are and say 'why.'

I dream of things that never were, and say, 'why not?'"

~ George Bernard Shaw

So today, on this gorgeous spring day after many days of rain, I AM filled! Yes, filled to the brim with love, with blessings, with gratitude, and with faith - and with my own personal love story with the Divine!

Sometimes, We See With New Eyes...

Sometimes, we see things with new eyes...

Sometimes, we feel things with a new heart...

Sometimes, everything seems brand new - as if we stepped into a new life...

Sometimes, everything makes sense...

Sometimes, we can see the interconnections that join and support every living thing...

Sometimes, we feel vibrantly alive - and even the colors all around us seem more vivid...

Sometimes, time expands and the present moment becomes eternal, as if everything were standing in perfect stillness...

Sometimes, these things happen, when we least expect it, and when they do - everything seems to be in entrainment with everything else in our lives, and with nature as well - as if rhythms were simply pulsing together...

Sometimes, hearts beat in tandem...

Sometimes, we are able to see and perceive everything with incredible clarity...

Sometimes, the unity that is in all things is so wonderfully apparent in the diversity of all that surrounds us...

Sometimes, the ordinary discloses the extraordinary...

Sometimes, what is miraculous makes its presence known in the beauty of a rose bush, flowering for the first time...

Sometimes, we are enveloped in so much unbearable beauty and love that it almost hurts...

Sometimes, we know we are reaping the fruits of all we have sowed...

Sometimes, we know that the Divine is in everything, and everything is in the Divine...

Sometimes, happiness arrives in an instant, as sheer gift...

Sometimes, you understand why you are here - and what you must do...

Sometimes, we are simply in the flow...

Sometimes, everything is just a precious gift, simply meant to be received with open arms...

Sometimes, we truly understand that in letting go we receive everything we need...

Sometimes, we just float in the Light and Love that is the Source of All, and...

Sometimes, we know, that it is - and was - and will always be enough...

Surprised by Joy

Sometimes, we are surprised in life...

We may be surprised by gifts...

Or, by the visit of a loved one we have not seen in a while...

Sometimes we are surprised by the turn of events...

And sometimes, we are surprised by joy...

We might not see it coming...

Sometimes we pray for something, perhaps not really imagining that we will receive it - to which I admonish - be careful what you pray for!

On March 17th, the Feast of St. Patrick, I prayed for a change of heart - and for a clean heart...

I asked to be rid of all that does not serve, like the mythological snakes that were driven out of Ireland...

In the cleansing many things were released, and the process still continues...

Space was created for other things to be received...

And for other things to be...

A new place of indwelling was created within a cleansed heart...

An invitation was sent out - and everything began to be seen and experienced with new eyes, and yes, through a new heart...

This week, a gifted craniosacral therapist confirmed the presence of joy... It had decided to set up shop in my heart, and wanted to take up residence in the rest of my being...

I was reminded of C.S. Lewis' book, "Surprised by Joy," written several lifetimes ago. It never quite spoke to me, though it has brought solace to many...

I read the Pope's homily, forwarded to me by a dear friend, exhorting us to open our hearts so that we not harden it against the gentle knock of joy...

If we open to joy, we begin to see and experience all things anew...

This does not mean that we are blind to the troubles in the world. But we can view them with renewed insight, from another perspective, and it might move us to do something about it...

Indeed... Joy can move mountains. It can make you do something you had no intention of doing. It might open you in ways unexpected and lead you in a direction you did not see coming...

In another homily, read on a day that was a turning point for me, Pope Francis spoke of the need to have the "courage to do great things, and the humility to appreciate little things." It made me realize that courage and humility are in the same fraternity with joy...

In one moment - out of nowhere, your life can change. Joy can take you there...

Open your heart. And you just might be surprised by joy! 

"Delight in the vast play of life...

God is joy

and He created you in joy."

~ Yogananda

I Have Everything I Need

On Wednesdays, after teaching my morning yoga class, I head off to St. David's, an Episcopal Church nearby, where I meet a small group of lovely women for centering prayer, a form of Christian meditation. It is a real blessing to meditate regularly in community.

The wonderful woman who pastors this church, and I, entered into a lively discussion of the readings for this past Sunday's liturgy. She shared what she preached on, and I shared insights gleaned from my own pastor's homily, at the Jesuit parish that I belong to in Georgetown.

Sunday, was Good Shepherd Sunday, and the psalm for the day was Psalm 23rd.

This has never been one of my favorites, but it's grown on me over the years. I always gravitated towards others, and in my late teens/early twenties, as a liturgical musician, I gave myself the task of setting the psalms to music. Well, that didn't exactly go very far! Recently, I found excerpts of my renditions - lyrics and chords, on torn pieces of papers hidden in drawers and boxes in the basement.

The pastor of St. David's shared that she read many translations of this psalm in preparation for her sermon, and shared several of them. She chose to preach on the following translation of the first verse:

"The Lord is my shepherd;

I have everything I need."

This is a curious departure from the usual interpretations, but it affirms that in every moment, we have everything that we need, whether we realize it or not. This is not exactly easy to swallow or accept at times. But often, as time puts some distance between us and difficult situations and periods in our lives, we do realize that in most instances we did receive exactly what we needed at the time - in terms of insight, support, and most especially - what we needed for our interior growth.

It is so much easier to focus on what we don't have - or what we want - and what we think will make us happy. How often are we mistaken? More than we care to admit...

Recently I wrote about the Gospel verse and teaching "Feed my sheep," and what it has meant to me. This verse in the Gospel this week, "I know my sheep, and they know me" just jumped out at me. I was struck by the connection of two verses speaking to me on subsequent Sundays. In fact, during the course of the week they have continued to speak to me, and have pulled me way out of my comfort zone. I realize, the Other Side had been waiting for my response...

I don't mean to sound so cryptic, but some things are best left unshared on such a public arena. But once I made the decision, it felt right and everything else feel into place.

Today, as I visited Suzanne, my gifted craniosacral therapist, I shared how my journey has unfolded in the last six weeks or so, since I'd seen her last. She was able to confirm that all that had transpired was all in the Divine Order of things, as a dear friend is so fond of saying - and we did the work necessary to sustain the currents of energy coursing through my body. 

Afterward, I visited a friend around the corner, a former yoga instructor, whom I've known since we both did our first teacher training in the mid-nineties...

Life is full of interesting surprises, if we are willing to see them and accept them.

Truly, today and everyday - I realize and once more affirm - I have everything I need...

The Greening Power of God

On Monday we celebrated "Earth Day," which very appropriately came in the midst of a spring bursting with colors and teeming with rebirth. I started the morning by going down to the river to say my morning prayers and take in the beauty of leaves just starting to unfurl, on a very cool and crisp day before teaching my yoga class.

I focused on "Earth Day" by reading a letter attributed to Chief Seattle. There is some controversy over whether he actually authored these words in 1854 as they are written - but whether or not he did - his letter captures the essence of the beauty of celebrating the environment, our inherent oneness with everything in creation, and the importance of being good stewards of its gifts. Here is a link to the speech:

http://www.csun.edu/~vcpsy00h/seattle.htm

The last few weeks have been nothing short of magnificent as various trees and flowers come into full bloom. This week, red bud trees and dogwoods are making their presence known everywhere, as are so many delicate wildflowers emerging in little forsaken and unnoticed places, mostly off the beaten track. I stop to acknowledge them often on my walk, grateful for the little splash of beauty and color they humbly offer.

Earlier today, a dear friend sent me an email titled the "Greenest of Green," and as a result, I found myself thinking of Hildegard of Bingen, that wonderful 12 century mystic and Renaissance woman who often wrote of "viriditas," or the "greening power of God." She believed that this energy was vital - and it's source was Divine, contained in all things created - truly, in everything that we see, and what we don't see as well.

I could write a dissertation about her, but instead, I will leave you with some of her words, interpreted by Gabriele Uhlein, in "Meditations with Hildegard of Bingen," a book I have treasured for several decades:

Limitless love,

from the depths to the stars:

     flooding all,

     loving all,

it is the royal kiss of peace.

~

Holy persons draw to themselves

all that is earthy.

~

The blowing wind,

the moist air,

the exquisite greening

     of trees and grasses - 

In their beginning,

In their ending,

they give God their praise.

~ 

Glance at the sun.

See the moon and the stars.

Gaze at the beauty of earth's greenings.

Now,

think.

What delight 

God gives

to humankind

with all these things.

Who gives all these shining, wonderful gifts,

if not God?

~ 

Creation

is allowed

in intimate love,

to speak

to the Creator

as if to a lover.

Creation

is allowed

to ask

for a pasture,

a homeland.

Out of the Creator's fullness,

this request is granted to creation.