Moments and Choices of Grace and Blessings

I continue to be gifted with such moments of grace and soul connections - with those I have known - and with those I am coming to know and which the Divine is bringing into my life...

Yesterday, I read a posting by an intuitive that affirmed these very things. We are connecting more and more with like-minded spirits who are in tune with us vibrationally, and we are touching each others lives - helping one another to grow and take vital steps on our sacred paths. We are truly not alone! And we are profoundly transforming ourselves, those around us, and this planet.

I marvel, how in just an hour or two upon awakening, I make several important connections - one with a new Twitter friend who hosts a radio show - another with a life-long friend who has just begun an inspired blog - and still with another friend, who sends me this precious gem, from a newsletter she subscribes to - written as a love letter from God...It contains valuable messages for me, and I wish to share it here...

To: You

"You have chosen.

You have chosen your life.
You have chosen your body.
You have chosen your parents.

YOU have chosen.

No one did anything to you.
You chose.
Perhaps your choices have been painful
and challenging, but your soul
made these choices as part
of the path it walks.
It is a divine path.
Therefore, everything that has happened to you
has been sacred.
It has been a blessing.

Can you begin to see all things as blessings?
Can you begin, this day,
to find gifts wrapped in the misfortunes
you have had?
As you do this,
you will begin to delve evermore deeply
into the truth of who you are."

Blessings come in many ways. In the things that are obvious. And the ones that aren't. Every opportunity that comes our way is an invitation to align with grace - to take the high road - to become most fully whom we are meant to be. This is what I strive to be. This is what I try to do.

It does not mean that I have not failed - for I have - sometimes horribly so. It does not mean that I am not profoundly sorry for the wrongs I have done, and the people I have hurt, sometimes needlessly in my life. But, it does mean - that every day I have the chance to start over. It is up to me. I have that choice. I recognize that there are choices I make daily about the person I want to be, and the life I want to lead, and the legacy I want to leave behind...

Coming Home to My Garden in the Heart

This morning, before teaching my morning garden of yoginis, who all rose to the occasion and the challenge brought before them - devotedly expressing Hanumanasana - some for the first time, I was inspired by a soul who goes by the name "glowiththeflow" on Twitter.

As often happens, I receive exactly the message I am supposed to receive. Even though there is not one individual soul in my life right now that I am primarily sharing everything with, there are many who are very close to me, and I am deeply blessed to be surrounded by exquisite friends - so many wonderful and true soul companions.

But I also realize that Divine Love breaks through to our hearts in many unexpected ways, and for me, there is a legion of like-minded souls in cyberspace that I am in communion with. Thus, I receive exactly what I need to receive, in ways that may be out of the mainstream for many...

"Living multi-dimensionally means we are no longer bound by the constraints of what we have agree upon as time.

We can go back to our past as though it is our present, heal what's up for healing and instantly live new futures.

Much of the wisdom of the past is no longer relevant in these times; choose your truth with your heart, not your memory.

Healing isn't necessarily sequential.

We might temporarily appear to be going backwards, when we are, in fact, moving forward.

Call in Divine Love, observe the process, love yourself wherever you are in your healing, and allow yourself to be led.

If you surrender to Divine Love, you'll find yourself saying and doing things that may scare, astonish, and inspire you.

And in those paradigm-shattering moments, you will live from your Divine essence.

And so it is."

I marvel at how these words, born of someone else's experience, were perhaps recorded and meant for me - destined to touch and move my soul - conveying the message and the suggestions for moving needed energy and working through specific issues that I required...

Life is a constant journey of lessons given, received, learned, and re-learned...

I send a message of gratitude to the author of these words who in turn sends me a beautiful acknowledgment and response, and urges me to "align with grace!"

I bask in both the message received, and my yoginis, who beautifully expressed from the essence of their hearts and souls several new poses, as we worked with the theme of devotion...

I conclude my class with this verse from the Radiance Sutras, as translated by Lorin Roche:

"The One Who is at Play Everywhere says,
There is a space in the heart where everything meets.
Come here if you want to find me.
Mind, senses, soul, eternity - all are here.
Are you here?

Enter the bowl of vastness that is the heart.
Listen to the song that is always resonating.
Give yourself to it with total abandon.

Quiet ecstasy is here -
And a steady, regal sense
Of resting in a perfect spot.

You who are the embodiment of blessing,
Once you know the way,
The nature of attention will call you to return.
Again, and again, answer that call,
And be saturated with knowing,
'I belong here, I am home.'"

I am brought back home again, to my heart, where the Divine dwells, and speaks, and waits...

Transmutation

We begin a new month of sacred energies, and I think of all those things which transmute and transform us...

As the sun begins to set on this day, and I prepare for my evening meditation, I come across this beautiful sutra - or verse - from the Radiance Sutras, an ancient Tantric text, translated by Lorin Roche. It is utterly delicious and full of so much richness, I could easily get lost in it for hours...

"The real transmutation,
The offering to God,
Is to pour the elements of your body,
All of your sensual impressions,
Into the fire of the Great Void.

Your richness of experience
Is the wine that you offer
To the Divinity that is everywhere."

After an afternoon of study and reflection, and preparing my remarks for an upcoming workshop where I will address the yogic concept of the kleshas (afflictions in us which arise due to the ignorance of our true nature), and the koshas (the five sheaths or layers of being of our existence - most of which are subtle and cannot be physically perceived), I take a break and imbibe in the refreshment and wisdom offered by this sutra. Ahhh!

Looking Down the Road and the River - Two Years Later

I awaken, two years to the day, when circumstances and a soul first lured me down to the river. I had no idea what journey I would be undertaking shortly...It would take me away from all that I had known and held securely. It would bid me to let go, and journey deeply into the unknown...

It is a Saturday, and Halloween as well, and after reading the paper at my neighborhood Starbucks, filled with costumed folks of all sizes and hues, I head down to the river, just to make a brief visual connection, and acknowledge this Sacred Temple of Healing Waters, and all that it has been and provided to my heart...

A confluence of feelings, memories and inspirations swirl within my soul, stirring so much within, just as a confluence of waves merge and dissipate - no one can tell where one begins and the other ends...

I finish this river journal today. I know the river will continue to play a part in my spiritual life and healing, and that messages will come from time to time. I know I will continue to write about the insights and gifts received here - but I also know that they will not culminate in a third volume to The River Speaks. Other projects and experiences will give way. Nothing lasts forever. It is the gift of impermanence which continually invites us to let go. And this is simply, my greatest lesson in this lifetime. I know it now. I have always known it. But I understand all the ramifications and nuances of this lesson in a way I had never intuited before...

I have been a pilgrim to this river in every season and state of my soul - from times of complete despair to moments of exquisite joy. I have experienced the Divine on these riverbanks...

As Tanmayo sings in Dust at Your Feet:

"When all is said and done,
this heart still yearns for you."

As Catherine Doherty observed in Poustinia: Encountering God in Silence, Solitude and Prayer:

"The water is faith. As you move...the water becomes fresher and you have the feeling that you can really move now. Now faith begins to grow in you. You begin to understand that faith is not of the understanding, but is a gift of God...

You arrive at a beautiful river. You come to the edge of it and know that you can drink from it until you die. Now faith has taken hold of you and nothing, nothing can separate you from the river. You realize through your journey you have fallen in love with God, and it was really his face you saw [in every challenge, and every experience]..."

This morning, I connected with a soul I had not been in contact with for a while, and summarized my life experiences of the last two years...

Throughout the course of this week, I have marveled at the intricate web of connections in my life - and how each person - whether they remained in my life or not - taught me something - or connected me with another soul that I needed to learn something from or share something with. I was also fascinated how even though I had lived my life around the periphery of some others, there was a right moment in time for us to meet and really come to know each other...

Some of these connections have been incredible, and I could not help but see the hand of God operating strongly behind the scenes, much as the producer or director of plays or movies does...

I read late into the night, excerpts from the Radiance Sutras, translated by Lorin Roche, and recommended by a dear soul, tasting their sensuality and their joy in my soul, acknowledging the vibrant life that has arisen within me like a phoenix from the ashes of what I mourned for so long:

"Be wildly devoted to someone, or something.
Cherish every perception.
At the same time, forget about control.
Allow the Beloved to be itself and to change.

Passion and compassion, holding and letting go,
This ache in your heart is holy.
Accept it as the rise of intimacy
With Life's secret ways.

Devotion is the Divine streaming through you
from that place in you before time.
Love's energy flows through your body,
Toward a body, and into Eternity again.

Surrender to this current of devotion.
And become one with the body of love."

Yes, I surrender to the current of love, as I have surrendered to the currents on this river and the perceptions and the insights that it has yielded. So many lessons have been learned, and there are still so many lessons yet unfurling - layers within layers - to be peeled back and assimilated in my long journey back to the heart of the Divine - my final resting place - and my only goal in life. I want to be nowhere else. I will pay whatever price I must, to claim this as my Eternal home...

I have never liked the song "Amazing Grace," but this past week I found a rendition by Tanmayo that moved my being to the core. Her refreshing interpretation of the lyrics and music drew me in so deeply, I lost my soul in the Eye of the Hurricane of Divine Love, and found it to be a fitting anthem for where I have been - and where I am going:

"Amazing Grace, how sweet this sound,
that saves someone like me.
I once was lost but now I'm found,
was blind, but now can see.

T'was Grace that taught this heart to beat,
and Grace, all fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
the hour I first believed.

Into your hands, I lay my spirit,
Into your hands, I lay my soul.
Into your hands, I lay my spirit,
Into your hands, I lay my soul.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
This soul's already come.
T'was your Grace that brought this soul thus far,
and your Grace will bring me home.

Amazing Grace, how sweet this sound,
that saves someone like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
was blind but now can see.

Into your hands, I lay my spirit,
Into your hands, I lay my soul...

OM namo Gurudev, namo
OM!"

Yes, I bow to you, Divine Spirit - my True Teacher - to you I bow, and give thanks, for now, and forever! Amen!

Home to Myself on the River and Elsewhere

The day begins differently than I had envisioned it to be. After a long wait in a doctor's lounge for routine blood work that somehow gets mixed up, I head out for my long overdue morning coffee!

As I wait in line to place my order, I strike up a friendly conversation with a WW II veteran, who tells me of going back to visit Omaha Beach for both the 50th and 60th anniversary of D-Day. Having just visited the landing beaches in Normandy last month, I can sincerely thank him for his service...

I head down to the river, and banter with a kayaker, and decide it is not too cold or windy, so I can make it in. I come home, and put on my boots for the first time since the early spring, and dress warmly...

The kayaker asks me what "Aligning with Grace" means. I have a decal of my website logo, on Grace, my kayak. He is intrigued by what it means and by the fact that I teach yoga.

I run into a dear friend and student walking her dog, and we share insights we've received, and catch up on details of each others lives. As we speak, a hawk flies over us, and perches on a tree for a while. Hawks are messengers which bring clarity, and power, and vision...

I go into the river and paddle for a while, then float, and note that I am slowly being drawn to the banks on the Maryland side, almost as if I am being invisibly pulled...I ride the waves in for a while, and then paddle the rest of the way...

I come home to myself on this river, and spend some time reflecting on my magical evening last night...

On the spur of the moment, I buy an online ticket to go hear Melissa Manchester, whose music has captivated my soul for decades. I go to hear her at the Barns at Wolftrap, which is the perfect intimate setting for her music and her sharing of the creative process of songwriting, and how that shows up for her. As a poet, who dabbled in some songwriting decades ago, I resonate with her story...

I laugh and I cry, and reminisce - such a kaleidoscope of memories colliding in my mind and coming alive once again!

The music is haunting...She begins with "Through the Eyes of Love," and continues with so many old favorites, new songs, and even showtunes - each one speaking to my soul - each one giving me a needed message on this day...

I wait in line at the end of the concert to meet her and have my new "album" signed. When it is my turn, I tell Melissa how every year, when I was in college in the early seventies, I went to her concerts. She smiles as she signs my CD. Then I add, that I remember her grandfather was in the audience every year. She always dedicated the concerts to him. And he, would give her a standing ovation...

She stops, and we look intently into each others eyes - she is visibly moved. There seems to be this knowing and eternal silence between us, and then she blurts out, "Gusman Hall!" Yes, that was the site of those very early concerts of hers, and I am sure she has not thought of them in a very long time...And for a moment this present moment that we share bridges our past - a place in time where we both were thirty-five years ago...A sweet connection is made...

As I float on the river which is starting to feel like winter, I think of all the connections I made in the last twenty-four hours - with a musical icon and life-long idol of mine - with a veteran of D-Day, with a student, with paddlers - and I am reminded how we are all part of one web of connections...

Here, on this river, as one of Melissa's Manchester's favorite songs reminds me, I come home to myself...

I think of the moving ending to the concert - the encore, a song titled "A Mother's Prayer," and I think of the child I gave birth to - I also think of a another child - not my own - that I have loved very deeply - and my thoughts turn as well to my cousin's child coming home from Afghanistan this week...

I ride home after a magical evening where I was so deeply moved, and listen to this song on the CD I just purchased, sending blessings to children, marveling at how we are all sojourners together. I come home and listen to it one more time in bed, as I offer prayers, a fitting ending for a blessed day...

"I know you're listening
in the silence of this night.
The news is blistering
but I hold on to your light,
and though there's darkness
all around us,
by my faith I know you are there.
Give me the strength to lead the way.
Send me the words I need to say.
Use me to guide them day by day -
This is a mother's prayer.

I know I can't do this by myself.
I thank you for your help.

I know you're listening
so I know I am not alone.
I feel you here with me
as we all face the unknown.
Could you return us
to your garden
where no one's hurt,
and no one's scared?
Free us from pride and bitterness.
Keep us so close we won't forget.
Teach us to love as you love -
this is a mother's prayer."

Indeed it is a mother's prayer, but it is also a prayer for all of us to say - mother, father, lover, friend, neighbor, lost soul, those in need, and those who feel alone. But the truth is - we are not alone - because there truly is no separation between us. That, is the great lesson that we must learn and that will set our hearts free...

The Gifts of Upheaval

One of my favorite columnists to read is Sally Kempton. She has written a column for Yoga Journal for quite some time, and is a highly respected teacher of meditation and philosophy. She also has a newsletter titled, "Awakened Heart." I excerpt the following from her latest posting, which contains some very timely insights for many of us...

"In the tantric traditions, there is a saying, 'That by which you fall is that by which you rise.' Like all deep koanic statements, this one demands to be understood on multiple levels. For me, right now, it's been a useful way of looking at the energetic paradox that so many of us are noticing in our public and private worlds.

Here's the paradox. On the one hand, we see escalating crises...But on the other hand, we see escalating awakenings...

It's no secret that we're in a time...when the energy of change is escalating. We all feel it, and many of us have own interpretive stories about it...

I'd say there are two great gifts of this time of upheaval, and they go together.

One is the deep recognition of impermanence. Things are changing too fast to maintain the kind of tight control over our lives that so many of us confuse with security. The gift of impermanence is the way it teaches us to let go.

The second gift comes when we recognize that if we can set our priorities high - if we can decide to wake up to the deepest truth we're capable of living - that the energy of this time will support us to a degree that may not have been possible at any other moment in history. Simply put, the world needs us to wake up. Where there's a need, there's also a tendency for inspiration to emerge, an impetus towards the new, that we can ride if we know how to catch the wave.

So, this is a fantastic time, an extraordinary time to set priorities. If someone told you that you had a year to live, you'd probably think long and hard about how you wanted to spend that year...doing what seems truly important, moving closer and closer to the heart, to your truest desires, to the source of your love....As you ride the waves of change, you might want to contemplate the same questions: What really matters to me? What have I always sensed I could become, and what does the universe want for me? What would it take for me to live as my most awake Self? Who would I be if I were to be that Self?

Take some time this week and contemplate one or all of these questions. Get down with it. Be truthful with yourself. And welcome the amazing time we're living through, because it can bring you to the fullness of your humanity and your divinity!"

For more information, visit:
www.sallykempton.com

The River in Silent Reflection

I enjoy a few days of quiet, stillness, of journeying inwardly and deeply, of writing, researching, and meditating, healing, and contemplation...

Time flies, it goes so quickly, I sometimes wonder where it goes...

I arise very early for an appointment to have craniosacral work with a very gifted therapist who never ceases to amaze me with her expertise, her knowledge, her resources, her compassion, and her stunning, crystal clear insights. We explore some issues and their roots deep inside my body and work very creatively with toning and chanting, until I feel an explosion of heat and electricity coursing through my body. The body's ability to respond and communicate with us is truly amazing, if we are willing to listen and do the work that is required.

I leave with my homework assignments, and what I need to work on until my next appointment, and go out in search of coffee. I stop at McDonald's and encounter the beautiful middle aged woman from a Middle Eastern country, who once ministered to me last winter by taking my cold hands into hers, rubbing them, in an attempt to warm them - a gesture I have never forgotten. Who knows where we will encounter blessed souls sent by God to touch our lives?

We speak of God as I wait for my order - somehow entering a realm of shared understanding. She asks me how I have been. I have not seen her in a while. She also tells me that God has been very good to her. Then, very spontaneously, she asks me to pray for her - and indeed, to pray for others as well.

I wait for a moment, until she is free once again, and I tell her, that I will pray for her, though I do not even know her name. And her eyes radiate such love and gratitude, she warms my soul. Our hearts connect in a shared knowing and loving of the Beloved.

I make my way down to the river, with my "senior coffee." My McDonald's Sweet Angel gave me the senior discount, something she has done on so many occasions...

The river is quiet and still, and I make my way down to the riverbanks carefully, so I will not slip on the wet leaves. It is beautiful here. Overcast and gray - momentarily breaking from the rain. I could stay here all day - lost in the silence and solitude, but alas - I have work to return to!

I make my way back home, grateful for the many ways God has touched my life: through the gift of wonderful friends - some of them priceless - one or two of them very sacred gems in my life - and through healers of every sort. I am also grateful, because for the first time in my life, I am surrounded by souls who are in tune with me vibrationally. I no longer have to toil under a veil of discord, or tension. Every blessed being that has come into my life has enhanced it - and I am a better person because of their presence and their heart resonance. All of those relationships which once brought me strife, and conflict, have simply fallen away....

I continue to be amazed at how many like minded souls I come in contact with - in my work, my practice, in cyberspace, and in most unexpected places - connections are being made all the time...

Yes, I have been blessed, and the realization comes, as I was reassured many a time, by a dear friend - and by Julian of Norwich herself, when I sat in her cell back in 1988 - that "All shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well..."

And truly, it is...

Thoughts on Kenosis at the River

After making an early morning airport run, I grabbed a cup of coffee and went down to the river on this early Saturday morning. It was interesting to observe that there was a whole array of parked cars with people drinking coffee and reading newspapers in them. Must be a weekend routine for some!

There also seemed to be a regular crowd that comes to hang out and walk their dogs - they bantered back and forth about them - catching up on the events and details of the week...

I watched all of this with some amount of dispassion as I sipped coffee, and thought of a child - now growing into a young woman - whose birthday it is today. I sent her birthday wishes - and blessings of love - in a shower of grace - and promised to offer my meditations for her later today...

I walked about surveying the river from its banks for a while, feeling totally open ended in my day and coming week, and was drawn in by thoughts I had on passages I read by Catherine de Hueck Doherty before I went to sleep last night...

I have always been drawn to - and fascinated by the theological term "kenosis", which Catherine describes as: "the emptying of oneself to be filled with Christ." The term comes from Philippians 2.7 where there is a reference to Jesus emptying himself on the cross. The term can be interpreted as implying sacrifice - but I have always understood it as giving of oneself in one's totality - and putting the needs of others before oneself. I see it as complimenting - or putting the Boddhisattva vow - from a Buddhist perspective - into action. And from a Vedantic point of view, it enables the seeker to detach from this world in order to become one with the Divine.

Lately, I have been reflecting on the meaning of this term a lot, as I remembered a Lutheran minister telling me, while I was working on my doctorate in the late eighties, that he felt that embodying the essence of kenosis was my life's mission.

From a Vedantic perspective, I believe that living out the mandate of kenosis both releases karma and attachments to this life, which is necessary to penetrate the more subtle realms where one encounters the Divine. While challenging and difficult to enflesh, kenosis is a gift for those who are up to the task of living it.

It is so interesting to consider how different theological and philosophical concepts relate to different strands of thought in varying traditions...

From Catherine's writings:

"There are certain moments in your prayers of thinking - moments in your life with God - when suddenly you are saying or doing with all your heart and soul...'Take my mind and my will, Lord, and cleanse them...'

Now we are able to discern the will of God. Our senses are acute, attuned, because we are listening to God....[There is a] smashing of the idol of oneself...[Ah! Reference to the self vs. the Self!]

This is a hidden process...it is a giving up of one's will and oneself into the hands of God...

Kenosis cannot happen without our cooperation...

Kenosis demands a kind of death, and this dying...will draw forth new graces...

This emptying of self must continue. This contact with God has to be maintained constantly; the carrying of man's pain and sorrow and joy has to go unceasingly. Otherwise there will be breaks and gaps in our relationship with God. This cannot be allowed to happen, once we have started this journey. The going will be rough, but the joy will be ineffable..."

Catherine points out that the experience of kenosis is a life-long one of continual emptying and stripping, until one is purified. All spiritual traditions teach this concept on some level or another. It a notion that speaks to me again and again at different periods of my life, always yielding richer, and richer insights...

"Real zeal is standing still
and letting God be a bonfire in you."
~ Catherine Doherty